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Been thinking about this for a long time. My ex is a dead beat, and hasnt really been around. Yet i have a fear of him "stealing" my kids. I am sure im just being a whack job, but should i go file for full custody, just to have the papeework? Is it complicated? Any advise?
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by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 9:10 PM
Replies (11-19):
kitty8199
by Silver Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 9:36 AM
If he's homeless, they won't give him anything.
Where would the kids stay when it's his weekend? On the street?


Quoting JerzyGurl81:

Im in jersey. I will google it! I wonder how it would work causw hes homeless. Or at leaat camden county cant find him!
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Bellmont
by Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 9:49 AM

File.

My granddaughter & her so broke up for a few months. The first thing she did was to file papers. Now she has full custody of the son. So if it ever happen again she can just go with fear of him taken her son.

Bellmont
by Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 9:51 AM

that was in NY

Andrea115
by New Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 10:10 AM
You need to file. I went through a year of being seperated and we had nothing on paper of who had custody and sometimes out of spite he would take the baby and not bring her back at the specified times and even if I called police there was nothing they could do because there was no custody arrangement
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dom3269
by Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 11:00 AM
Oh ok. Im in California and was never married to mh daughter's father either, nor is he on the birth certificate. I cant't file for sole custody yrt.because neither myself or my lawyer know where to find him so he can be served. Last we heard, he was in florida. I think its the same here as Georgia - mother automatically has sole.custody


Quoting kitty8199:

Georgia.

Unwed fathers have zero rights until given by the courts.




Quoting dom3269:

What state r u in,?






Quoting kitty8199:

I'm not saying don't file, but look into custody laws in your state.
It would be a total waste of money here, bc i already have custody bc we weren't married.


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kitty8199
by Silver Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 11:06 AM
My bf is from Cali. His mom wasn't married, and she had custody. Dad was on BC (although it was the 80s). She put him on it without him signing. He paid CS.

Quoting dom3269:

Oh ok. Im in California and was never married to mh daughter's father either, nor is he on the birth certificate. I cant't file for sole custody yrt.because neither myself or my lawyer know where to find him so he can be served. Last we heard, he was in florida. I think its the same here as Georgia - mother automatically has sole.custody




Quoting kitty8199:

Georgia.


Unwed fathers have zero rights until given by the courts.






Quoting dom3269:

What state r u in,?








Quoting kitty8199:

I'm not saying don't file, but look into custody laws in your state.
It would be a total waste of money here, bc i already have custody bc we weren't married.


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Ridingsolo
by Bronze Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 1:05 PM

I am in NJ too.  Is he on the birth certificate?  My ex isn't on the birth certificate and there is no paternity established, so I automatically have full custody (it works this way if you were never married).  He has no rights.   


Quoting JerzyGurl81:

Im in jersey. I will google it! I wonder how it would work causw hes homeless. Or at leaat camden county cant find him!


 

witchybabymomma
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 2:05 PM

 I filed to make sure my ex could not take off with my son. My advice would be to save and hire a lawyer though I printed to try to file on my own and the paperwork was a little confusing.

Jerseymom126
by on Apr. 12, 2013 at 4:16 PM

I also live in NJ, and it can be difficult to get sole custody. My son's father left me halfway through my pregnancy. I filed for sole custody when our son was 2 months old, because my son's father was originally from another state, and I was terrified that if he got mad he might take off with our child. The courts refused to give me sole custody, because his father claimed he wanted to be able to be a part of his life etc etc. I was given primary physical custody, listed at the parent of primary residence, and we were issued joint legal custody, meaning we had to agree on all decisions regarding education, health care, etc. I fought for almost 2 years to change this, and the courts did NOT give me sole custody until my son's father was dishonorably discharged from the USCG for being an alcoholic and drug addict (he popped prescription pills) and for stealing from his shipmates. He failed to comply with rehab TWICE, and fled to his rich mommy and daddy out of state. That was 10 years ago. He owes over $100,000.00 in back support for his child. We have not heard from him since he left. Nor has my son received a dime. 

In order to get sole custody of a child in NJ, you have to be able to PROVE the other parent is unfit or dangerous to the child's well being. Even if you DO get sole custody, the other parent can still petition for visitation. The court may order it to be supervised, but my point is that sole custody does not totally eliminate a parent's rights. 

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