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Single Moms Single Moms

moving in with boyfriend?

Posted by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 1:25 AM
  • 18 Replies

hey everyone!

I'm new here and looking for advise outside the family. I have been divorced from my son's father for a year. Well, I have recently gotten into a serious relaionship and the idea of us moving in together has been brought up. I'm not fully sure how to go about this because I haven't been in this situation. Yes, I'm happy with moving in with my boyfriend. He treats my son and I amazingly, and we make a wonderful team together. My concerns fall on my son. I'm worried with how he will react. I have primary custody so he lives with me the majority of the year. I'm worried that he won't take us moving in very well.

I'm honestly not sure if I'm making any sense because I'm not sure what to ask. My son and my boyfriend get along very well and they haven't had any issues when my boyfriend watches him. My son is two.

I'm open to tips!! Thanks

by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 1:25 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Andrewsmom70
by Silver Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 5:35 AM
5 moms liked this
I'm against moving in until you know the relationship is going to be long term. Your child has been through having one man leave. You shouldn't put your son in a situation to possibly have another man he's attached to leave. It's a bad cycle to get into.

Personally I would wait until I was married to move in together. But at least I would be engaged and close to my wedding date.
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sunshine389142
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 9:26 AM
2 moms liked this

How long have you been dating?  I am not saying you should necessarily be married, but at the very least I would say things need to be heading that way.  I agree that you should definitely use caution and really think about things as far as what is best for him.  Overall, I agree with the gist of what the previous poster said.  I am not in this situation yet, but I had moved in my DD's father very quickly when he had two kids.  We were together for 4.5 years, but I am sure that our break was not easy on his kids...and that was a big concern for me.  I know for my DD, I will be very cautious about her even being around people I date.

breebree04
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 12:43 PM

How long have you been dating? If you think this is a serious and long term relationship then maybe you could slowly introduce your ds into living with him. Have him stay the night at your bf's house with you every so often and then gradually increase the time he stays there and see how he does with it.

brieri
by Platinum Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 1:09 PM
1 mom liked this

 Hi and welcome to the group.

It depends how long you have been with this guy from the onset.  Sometimes moving in at a quick rate is hard on young children, because they don't understand what is happening. Children will think they are second place above a man.  Also, just because you and your boyfriend make a good team right now, doesn't necessarily mean that will change over time.  Especially when moving in together.

Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Apr. 8, 2013 at 2:17 PM

It's a big step and my BF and i talking about it....biggest issue for us is one if us is going to have to relocate and either way we are going to need to find a bigger place....so many hurdles...first being that of where to relocate.

lovemybabes3
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 2:22 PM

im in the same situation...we are talking about it too...we have been together unoffically for 2 years but official for about a year and a half of that time...my kids are ok w/ being w/ him bc he did stay w/ us for a while before i moved in w/ my mom and the kids loved having him over, they liked having someone to play games w/ and learn things from...i know it will be an adjustment but you have to talk to your son about it and see how he feels about the idea and slowly ease him into it if he is accepting of it

easinpc
by Gold Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 2:27 PM

I guess for me it would depend on long the relationship has been going on, if it is headed to an engagement/marriage, how my child got along with them, etc.

conniejo75
by Bronze Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 2:35 PM
2 moms liked this
I wouldn't without being engaged and wedding plans already started
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kitty8199
by Silver Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 2:38 PM
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Boyfriend? No. Fiancée, maybe. Husband, yes (of course)
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mumii17
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 3:11 PM
I Agree


Quoting kitty8199:

Boyfriend? No. Fiancée, maybe. Husband, yes (of course)

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