Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Single mom wanting another child

Posted by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 3:36 AM
  • 12 Replies

Hi

i'm a mom to a 10 year old wonderful girls who i have been raising mostly on my own since she was 2 yr. my exhusband has been in and out of the picture. i just turned 40 and feel like i am just not going to find the one despite years of dating. So i have made the decision to have another child on my own. it will take some creative financing but i have no doubt that I can do it on my own. dd's father contributes nothing but headache over the years. so why do i want to be stuck with another deadbeat? i know not all men are like that but the dating scene had left me jaded and bitter. 

I'm researching sperm donor routes as it seems the most logical route. Any moms gone through this and want to share their experience and few years down the road. any regrets, anythig you would have done different? words of encouragement?

thanks!



by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 3:36 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Andrewsmom70
by Silver Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 5:49 AM
3 moms liked this
If you have to be creative to make it work financially why put yourself and your 10 year old thru that stress? That makes no sense to me at all.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
jinxmom
by Bronze Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 9:41 AM

My dd is adopted and at 51 I have no desire to adopt another child although I've thought about it but no lol  Can't have any.  I wish you the best.

steviechick
by Gold Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 10:23 AM
1 mom liked this

I wish you all the best, but you really need to look at why you want another child.  Is it because you need to take care of another child because you need to feel fulfilled?  Fostering kids makes more sense.  You get paid by the state to take care of each individual child and you are able to care for a child (or children) because they have no else that wants to take care of them.  I would go that route instead.

Ridingsolo
by Bronze Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 1:11 PM

If there is enough money there, then I say go for it.  And you are right, raising a kid on your own is easier than dealing with a deadbeat who pops in and out. 

brieri
by Platinum Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 1:24 PM

 Hi and welcome to the group.

There were days in the past like that for me too and sometimes I wished I had more, just so he could pay for them ALL!    Now that my only two are grown and who knows what their lives are like, I'm glad to have that part of my life over - I can enjoy myself and do what I want from here to eternity - waiting for death that is! lol.  jk.

If you really want to become preggo, I know just the man - cause he would like one/two of his own. He is not able to afford to take care of him/her, However he can be in their lives from time to time, however if this is not a problem for you, I will advise. lol.  (sorry, but he's mine all mine).

 

breebree04
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 1:25 PM

I get not wanting to deal with another deadbeat dad but being a single mom with two kids is hard and I wouldnt ever want to do it again. but thats just my opinion, if you are financially stable and think you can handle it then go for it! Good Luck

Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Apr. 8, 2013 at 1:55 PM

Hello and welcome to the group.  I do want more children and my bf and I have talked about it...we have gotten quite serious and are talking marrige....

Oliviasmom72
by Bronze Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 2:19 PM
1 mom liked this

My sister is going through this she is 40-my age we are twins. Never married no kids. She has had 4 failed IUI's. 2 have resulted in preg but very early m/c. This last one did not take. The clock is ticking..do something now. If you can go out and get pregnant totally on your own with no govt't help or help from the Dad, then do it. You need to eventually start budgeting for child care. Or you can go to a sperm cyro bank website and buy the sperm like my sister and the ywill shp it only to a DR and you get inseminated there. . She was unable to get prego on her own so she had to go through treatments.

You might want to see a DR to get a fertility workup done. If you need then you might want to look into buying leftover meds from someone else. Also she used her flexible spend plan through her job to the max so she got reimbursed for much of the cost.

She is not sure what plan B is now. She is thinking if using a donor embryo through California Conception but they jut raised their prices to 12000.00 but you get 3 tries.

If you really are financially stable then do it but unless you truly do the anonymous donor route in a medical setting, you will have to identify the father if you apply for any assistance. So I'm not sure what way you are looking to go.

 

Lots of luck to you.

easinpc
by Gold Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 2:22 PM

Good luck!

runofthemill99
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 1:13 AM

thanks i appreciate the replies. i always wanted another child and it just never happen. i did not want to settle for a guy just to have a child. i already went to my obgyn and was all checked out. i'm healthy so she's very supportive and has few patients who have gone the sperm donor route. now i'm dealing with financial part and see how much I will have to pay out of pocket. i can provide for all 3 of us, it will just take a lot of financial discipline.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)