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Was this wrong????

Posted by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 9:44 PM
  • 26 Replies

My ex asked if he could have my son on a different day bc he decided to go on a date instead of spending time with his son who he hardly sees I told him no bc my son really needs to start a schedule and my son is starting to understand that Saturdays are his days  with his dad, it just upsets me that a date is more important than spending time with ur kid  I only go out when my kid is with his dad wtf

by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 9:44 PM
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Replies (1-10):
sunshine389142
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 10:32 PM
1 mom liked this

I don't think it is wrong so much.  However, I always tried to work with my DD's dad.  He never tried to switch days though because of a date.   He just cancelled.  I guess ultimately, I would try to think about your son.  As angry as it makes you, seeing him is better than not (at least in most cases).  I would maybe explain that if he chooses to make plans during his schedule parenting time in the future, you will not be so flexible.  Maybe explain that your son was looking forward to seeing him and cancelling/rescheduling lets your son down.  Obviously if you and your son have plans for the other weekend or day that he wants to switch to, i wouild just tell him that and that if he wants to see his son, he will do it during his scheduled parenting time.

I definitely understand your feelings...and I would not want this to become a routine.  It is important for the kids to have consistency.

Good luck.  And I just want you to know, I am not judging.  These situations are never easy and ultimately it is your child.  You know what is best for him.  Trust your instincts.  :-)

mommyRojo
by Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 10:32 PM

I think it's wrong and he should NEVER put a date over spending time with his son.  

brieri
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 10:33 PM

 absolutely not. 

MamaBernie
by Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 10:44 PM

Ty I just think its wrong that he'd rather be with his gf on an all day date in Chicago and I feel his gf should know better

Andrewsmom70
by Silver Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 10:55 PM
Is he supposed to get his son every Saturday?

Does he work a normal M-F job?
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MamaBernie
by Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 11:00 PM

His hours fluctuate so we agreed on 9 to 5 on sat fri 6 to 9 and wed 6 to 9 I offered overnights so ill look good in court but he hasn't bought a bed for him

LifeCafe42
by Nora on Apr. 8, 2013 at 11:37 PM
1 mom liked this
He shouldn't but just remember some day you may need a favor too
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Andrewsmom70
by Silver Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 12:49 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm of the belief that one parent having the same schedule on every weekend makes it hard on both families. What happens if your child gets invited for weekend activities? Dad could very well tell your child that he cannot go since that's the only time he goes with dad. Do you really want to set that sort of tone? I sure wouldn't.

What if there's something you want to do with your child on a Saturday? Dad can say too bad, so sad. You didn't want to be flexible for him so why should he go out of his way for you?

Schedules are important but so is flexibility. We have to learn both.

Don't be such a hard ass. ;-)
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Aortiz22
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 1:11 AM
1 mom liked this

If Saturdays are his days he needs to be with his son. If he makes plan then he is responsible for finding an alternative the way you probably do while you're responsible for him the other 5-6 days of the week 

MamaBernie
by Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 7:40 AM
1 mom liked this

It's not about me being a hard ass it's the point that he chose a Chicago date over his son I have never changed the schedule over and this schedule has been going for a year it's about  him never wanting to spend time with his kid and choosing more important things over my son for example I offered my ex to have my son half of Easter Sunday he said no well come to find out its bc he had a hangover so I think I've been flexibe so ask more questions before calling me a hard ass :) 

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