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Single Moms Single Moms

Starting Over Where to Start???????

Posted by on Apr. 12, 2013 at 1:29 PM
  • 13 Replies

I am currently divorcing after 10 years of marriage. I am living in an area where i don't know anyone but my ex's family. I now have to face supporting four kids on my own with no work experience and nothing more that a high school diploma. At this point i am just very overwhelmed and have no idea where to start!!

by on Apr. 12, 2013 at 1:29 PM
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Replies (1-10):
arkmomma06
by Bronze Member on Apr. 12, 2013 at 1:36 PM

First of all....Take a deep breath  

Welcome to the group....

I know you are overwhelmed right now, but it will get somewhat easier as time goes on...

Have you applied for any public assistance? 

4butterflys
by on Apr. 12, 2013 at 1:53 PM

No not yet. My ex and i are on very good terms and have decided to remain in the same household until i can get on my feet. I just don't know where to start trying to get on my feet. I want to be able to support my kids on my own without having to depend on child support. I know it will take some time but this is what i need to do for me.

arkmomma06
by Bronze Member on Apr. 12, 2013 at 1:59 PM

Glad that yall are on good terms...That will help more than you know..


aidensmom0407
by Member on Apr. 12, 2013 at 2:06 PM
Welcome!! Yes, apply for public assistance. Maybe do some volunteer work to get some experience and from there you can perhaps also meet new people and network. Best of luck to you!!
Quoting arkmomma06:

First of all....Take a deep breath  

Welcome to the group....

I know you are overwhelmed right now, but it will get somewhat easier as time goes on...

Have you applied for any public assistance? 

Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Apr. 12, 2013 at 2:16 PM
Sounds like you and your ex are handling things really well. I'm not too sure what kind of an area you live in but just start applying for jobs. Even if you get turned down it is a foot in the door and gets you out there.
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krisnkids
by Gold Member on Apr. 12, 2013 at 2:21 PM

Its hard. I have 4 myself and the thought of supporting them on my own was a nightmare. Then I found out what my stbx would be paying in child support and was able to breathe a bit better. 

First you need to figure out what to expect in child support.  Everyone will tell you do not rely on child support but as a mom of 4 I can tell you, it is virtually impossible to support 4 kids on your own especially if you do not have a well paying job. 

Find a job, what are you good at, what do you have for experience?  You may have to take what you can get in this job market, but even then do not settle, keep looking even if you have a job.

Schooling. Even if you have no idea what you want to go to school for, apply and get the basic classes taken care of, english, math, history etc. Do this at the community college, most of them you can do all the basic classes online, eliminating the need for childcare costs for you. Apply for financial aid, call the fin aid office at the college as you will probably need to do some extra paperwork since your 2012 tax return was probably filed joint. Do the financial aid right and you will have extra money to live off of and support your kids.

Public assistance, go apply for food stamps, yeah it sucks having to but you know what, the 793 (max a family of 5 can get) a month you can get will pay for the groceries so you can focus your income on everything else.

brieri
by Platinum Member on Apr. 12, 2013 at 8:49 PM

 Hi and welcome to the group.

Why don't you want to depend on the c/s?  It's not for you it's for your kids, and they will need a roof over their heads, food on the table, clothes on ther backs, school supplies til they graduate.  Don't give that up, also you can apply for alimony for the amount of tme you've been married.  Make him pay. You may need to go for therapy too sometime.   

abigail824
by on Apr. 13, 2013 at 1:48 AM

I wouldn't give up the c/s. My husband said he will pay me c/s and alimony because taking care of me means taking care of our children. He said he'll pay me enough to where I won't have to work (I wont' do that...I'll keep my part time job because I want to contribute something) but I can breathe easier knowing he really does want to take care of the kids and in order to do that he has to take care of me. Good luck! 

Bookoholic
by Bronze Member on Apr. 13, 2013 at 1:51 AM
Maybe look into schooling, it won't help the now but the later, you could take one or two classes per quarter so not to get over whelmed, look at finchinal aid.
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4butterflys
by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 7:46 AM
I'm not giving up my c/s I just don't want to depend on it. My ex is a great guy and has been the best support I have had throughout this hole thing. I do have good news though I passed the entrance exam for nursing school and classes start in September. So I get one more summer at home with my kids! :)
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