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Custody question.. Need advice.. NO bashing!

Posted by on Apr. 13, 2013 at 5:17 PM
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I am a single, SAHM of two kids. My kids have different fathers. I share 50/50 custody with my son's father and have yet gone to court for my daughter, so she is with me full time. Neither of us have filed for custody (or from what I know). We live in a small town that really doesn't have too much to offer. I am really wanting to get back into school so that I can get a good job and make a better life for my kids and me. I have been thinking about moving. I know it wouldn't be and easy thing to do, but it is something I have been wanting to do for a long time. I guess what I'm wondering is...

I was wondering if there is anyone else on here who shares custody, but doesn't live in the same town as the father? How do you do it? Was it easy? 

And is it wrong for me to want to move away? Everyone always makes me feel bad and always asks, well what about your son? (because I have split custody) My kids are a big reason on why I want to move and get away from this S*** hole town. I want to make a better life for them and so they can have more opportunities with things. 

I guess I am just looking for someone elses opinion or persepective other then my families.. Thanks! :)

by on Apr. 13, 2013 at 5:17 PM
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Replies (1-10):
dawncs
by on Apr. 13, 2013 at 5:26 PM

What does your custody order for your son say about moving? If your ex has to agree to it, it could become a difficult matter if it makes 50/50 impossible if he decides to contest it. As for schooling, I recommend on going back to school, and you can get financial aid by completing http://www.fafsa.ed.gov/.

Dawn


Group owner of Different Learners Support Group (http://www.cafemom.com/group/118648)

Generica
by on Apr. 13, 2013 at 5:30 PM
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Here is my two cents on moving away from family. (if thats what you would be doing).

As a single mother who is very family oriented and now alone in a state with NO FAMILY around I regret moving. It takes a village to raise a child...especially if you go back to school. I am not trying to guilt you or anything but just think about that.

Best of luck.

lovemy2kids.
by on Apr. 13, 2013 at 5:36 PM

I have moved before, before I had my daughter, and the custody stayed the same as it has always been. I had moved with a bf and it didn't work out, so that is why I moved back. My son's father always talks about moving too and has recently said that he has put in job applications out of town. Once my son is old enough to be in school, the way we do it will change. He can't be going back and forth when he's in school (not with the way we have it set up). I do want to go back to school, that's a big reason in me moving. Thank you :)

Quoting dawncs:

What does your custody order for your son say about moving? If your ex has to agree to it, it could become a difficult matter if it makes 50/50 impossible if he decides to contest it. As for schooling, I recommend on going back to school, and you can get financial aid by completing http://www.fafsa.ed.gov/.


lovemy2kids.
by on Apr. 13, 2013 at 5:46 PM
1 mom liked this

I know it would be hard, and trust me I have thought about all of that. I think what I think about most is the regret I might have if I don't go away and go to school and change my life. My sister and her kids have moved and my mom wants to eventally move, then it just leaves me. Idk it's a tough choice. ha Thank you though.

Quoting Generica:

Here is my two cents on moving away from family. (if thats what you would be doing).

As a single mother who is very family oriented and now alone in a state with NO FAMILY around I regret moving. It takes a village to raise a child...especially if you go back to school. I am not trying to guilt you or anything but just think about that.

Best of luck.


Generica
by on Apr. 13, 2013 at 5:52 PM

Then by all means go get your education. I wish I would have finished mine!

lovemy2kids.
by on Apr. 13, 2013 at 6:02 PM
1 mom liked this

I just don't want regrets. Thanks for the input and advice. It's nice hearing an opinion from someone other then your family :) 

Quoting Generica:

Then by all means go get your education. I wish I would have finished mine!


mrsladylala
by on Apr. 13, 2013 at 6:10 PM

I say do it! But that's coming from a Cali girl who moved to NY for five years just cuz. I feel you on the regret part, so like I said just do it. If it doesn't work out you can always move back, nothing is permanent.

conniejo75
by Bronze Member on Apr. 13, 2013 at 6:25 PM
I go to school online and work full time. You won't be able to change custody agreement unless BD agrees or you show a judge you have job and resources set up in new area. I have moved to different states and ex fought me both times, but I won because I had everything set up beforehand
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lovemy2kids.
by on Apr. 13, 2013 at 6:35 PM

Did you have kids when you moved? That's my biggest thing about it. I don't want the regret for the rest of my life. And if you knew where I lived, you'd understand why I want to get away from here so bad haha. NY is far from Cali. Do you still live in NY?

Quoting mrsladylala:

I say do it! But that's coming from a Cali girl who moved to NY for five years just cuz. I feel you on the regret part, so like I said just do it. If it doesn't work out you can always move back, nothing is permanent.


lovemy2kids.
by on Apr. 13, 2013 at 6:38 PM

How did you get everything set up beforehand? I prb wouldn't be able to sign up for school unless I was living there huh? I figured I would need to have stuff figured out and set up before trying and moving away. 

Quoting conniejo75:

I go to school online and work full time. You won't be able to change custody agreement unless BD agrees or you show a judge you have job and resources set up in new area. I have moved to different states and ex fought me both times, but I won because I had everything set up beforehand


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