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Custody question.. Need advice.. NO bashing!

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I am a single, SAHM of two kids. My kids have different fathers. I share 50/50 custody with my son's father and have yet gone to court for my daughter, so she is with me full time. Neither of us have filed for custody (or from what I know). We live in a small town that really doesn't have too much to offer. I am really wanting to get back into school so that I can get a good job and make a better life for my kids and me. I have been thinking about moving. I know it wouldn't be and easy thing to do, but it is something I have been wanting to do for a long time. I guess what I'm wondering is...

I was wondering if there is anyone else on here who shares custody, but doesn't live in the same town as the father? How do you do it? Was it easy? 

And is it wrong for me to want to move away? Everyone always makes me feel bad and always asks, well what about your son? (because I have split custody) My kids are a big reason on why I want to move and get away from this S*** hole town. I want to make a better life for them and so they can have more opportunities with things. 

I guess I am just looking for someone elses opinion or persepective other then my families.. Thanks! :)

by on Apr. 13, 2013 at 5:17 PM
Replies (11-20):
Mylifeasmelissa
by on Apr. 13, 2013 at 7:05 PM
I'm kind of in the same situation as you are.
My sons dad lives 3 1/2 hours away. We don't have visitation set up yet but I'm trying to do so without going to court.
I'm also pregnant. My daughter will be born in august. Different dad then my sons.
I really want to move out of state but can't afford to and I want to stay kind of close to family for my kids sake but I want better for them than what I had. Its super stressful and I know my sons dad would throw a fit if I moved out of state.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
lovemy2kids.
by on Apr. 13, 2013 at 7:28 PM

That is what I want to do is move out of state. I don't think it would be a big issue with my son's dad like it would my daughters. He would do anything to make my life hell. Even though we haven't been to court for my daughter. I can't really afford to move right now either, but it is something that I really want to do and trying to save up for. 

Quoting Mylifeasmelissa:

I'm kind of in the same situation as you are.
My sons dad lives 3 1/2 hours away. We don't have visitation set up yet but I'm trying to do so without going to court.
I'm also pregnant. My daughter will be born in august. Different dad then my sons.
I really want to move out of state but can't afford to and I want to stay kind of close to family for my kids sake but I want better for them than what I had. Its super stressful and I know my sons dad would throw a fit if I moved out of state.


Mylifeasmelissa
by on Apr. 13, 2013 at 8:29 PM
Yeah. But its so hard to save up money now a days.
and my daughters dad and I haven't spoke in over a month now.


Quoting lovemy2kids.:

That is what I want to do is move out of state. I don't think it would be a big issue with my son's dad like it would my daughters. He would do anything to make my life hell. Even though we haven't been to court for my daughter. I can't really afford to move right now either, but it is something that I really want to do and trying to save up for. 

Quoting Mylifeasmelissa:

I'm kind of in the same situation as you are.

My sons dad lives 3 1/2 hours away. We don't have visitation set up yet but I'm trying to do so without going to court.

I'm also pregnant. My daughter will be born in august. Different dad then my sons.

I really want to move out of state but can't afford to and I want to stay kind of close to family for my kids sake but I want better for them than what I had. Its super stressful and I know my sons dad would throw a fit if I moved out of state.


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
mrsladylala
by on Apr. 13, 2013 at 9:56 PM

At the time I moved I did not have kids. I understand that it might be scary moving far from "home", but I think you would like the change from the way you talk about where you live. It's one of those things, the more you think about it the scarier it sounds. Do like a pro con list and see which list has more on it. I dunno, it sounds like you need a change.

Quoting lovemy2kids.:

Did you have kids when you moved? That's my biggest thing about it. I don't want the regret for the rest of my life. And if you knew where I lived, you'd understand why I want to get away from here so bad haha. NY is far from Cali. Do you still live in NY?

Quoting mrsladylala:

I say do it! But that's coming from a Cali girl who moved to NY for five years just cuz. I feel you on the regret part, so like I said just do it. If it doesn't work out you can always move back, nothing is permanent.



lilly_av_momma
by on Apr. 13, 2013 at 10:57 PM
1 mom liked this

I have full custody of my girls. One doesnt see her dad at all and the other she sees every other weekend. They come to where i live on fridays and pick her up and then i go to where they live and pick her up on sundays. I know where I live the court makes the mother and father split the travel and meet half way when its time for the other parent to have the child. You are not wrong to want to move in my eyes. You have to do whats best for you and your children and if its moving to better your life then go for it. Going back to school is the best thing that you can do! Im currently in Nursing School and its been the best decision Ive made. Good luck with everything!

musicalcat31
by on Apr. 14, 2013 at 12:20 PM

 if  i make my x has to pay child suport will he get custody? 

lovemy2kids.
by on Apr. 14, 2013 at 1:05 PM

I haven't talked to my daughters dad in over a month either. 

Quoting Mylifeasmelissa:

Yeah. But its so hard to save up money now a days.
and my daughters dad and I haven't spoke in over a month now.


Quoting lovemy2kids.:

That is what I want to do is move out of state. I don't think it would be a big issue with my son's dad like it would my daughters. He would do anything to make my life hell. Even though we haven't been to court for my daughter. I can't really afford to move right now either, but it is something that I really want to do and trying to save up for. 

Quoting Mylifeasmelissa:

I'm kind of in the same situation as you are.

My sons dad lives 3 1/2 hours away. We don't have visitation set up yet but I'm trying to do so without going to court.

I'm also pregnant. My daughter will be born in august. Different dad then my sons.

I really want to move out of state but can't afford to and I want to stay kind of close to family for my kids sake but I want better for them than what I had. Its super stressful and I know my sons dad would throw a fit if I moved out of state.



lovemy2kids.
by on Apr. 14, 2013 at 1:07 PM

I think I would like it too. Thank you soo much for the help! :) 

Quoting mrsladylala:

At the time I moved I did not have kids. I understand that it might be scary moving far from "home", but I think you would like the change from the way you talk about where you live. It's one of those things, the more you think about it the scarier it sounds. Do like a pro con list and see which list has more on it. I dunno, it sounds like you need a change.

Quoting lovemy2kids.:

Did you have kids when you moved? That's my biggest thing about it. I don't want the regret for the rest of my life. And if you knew where I lived, you'd understand why I want to get away from here so bad haha. NY is far from Cali. Do you still live in NY?

Quoting mrsladylala:

I say do it! But that's coming from a Cali girl who moved to NY for five years just cuz. I feel you on the regret part, so like I said just do it. If it doesn't work out you can always move back, nothing is permanent.




lovemy2kids.
by on Apr. 14, 2013 at 1:10 PM

How far away do you live from the father? 
Thank you so much! :) 

Quoting lilly_av_momma:

I have full custody of my girls. One doesnt see her dad at all and the other she sees every other weekend. They come to where i live on fridays and pick her up and then i go to where they live and pick her up on sundays. I know where I live the court makes the mother and father split the travel and meet half way when its time for the other parent to have the child. You are not wrong to want to move in my eyes. You have to do whats best for you and your children and if its moving to better your life then go for it. Going back to school is the best thing that you can do! Im currently in Nursing School and its been the best decision Ive made. Good luck with everything!


lovemy2kids.
by on Apr. 14, 2013 at 1:12 PM

My sons dad pays child support and he split custody. I just filed for child support for my daughters dad and I have custody of her. 

Quoting musicalcat31:

 if  i make my x has to pay child suport will he get custody? 


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