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I'm Scared of loosing my son!

Posted by on Apr. 16, 2013 at 2:52 PM
  • 27 Replies
So I went to the court and filed for sole custody and my ex will have visitation. He was OK with me having sole custody if he doesn't pay for child support. When I talked to the lady at the court she said he can not just not want to pay child support and he will have to. I told my ex what they told me and he got all mad and is now thinking about taking my son away from me so he doesn't have to pay child support. I don't have the money to hire a lawyer because I'm currently unemployed. I'm scared that he could win because he has a job, a car and his own place. While I live with my parents , have no car and no job. I would be working but my visa has expired and I'm waiting for my new one which I won't have until the end of August :(. I have no criminal record and until now I have been financially stable but my savings isn't going to last me long. I'm hoping maybe with the criminal record he has that the court won't grant him sole custody. But I can't help be scared that he could possibly take my baby away! :'(
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by on Apr. 16, 2013 at 2:52 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Oliviasmom72
by Silver Member on Apr. 16, 2013 at 2:58 PM
I guess my question is why would you insist on sole? Dad is thinking you are trying to take away his rights. He probably can't take the kid from you but dad will likely have to pay support anyways regardless of what custody. Also if you go on any public assistance you will be forced to file for support. The courts probably won't care about his record you didn't when you had a baby with him right? Anyways his threats are meaningless but he can always try to fight you.
momma1708
by Member on Apr. 16, 2013 at 3:50 PM

If you already filed then he can't take him. Your situation does not mean that he will win. If anything you two will split custody 50/50. In FL that means no cs at all. In order for him to have sole custody he has to prove you as unfit which he can't unless you are abusing or neglecting your kid. 

steviechick
by Gold Member on Apr. 16, 2013 at 3:52 PM

If anything your ex has a criminal record if he thinks that justifies him of being a decent father then good luck to him! 

You are the mother.  Unless you are deemed mentally unstable you are able to keep your child.  Your ex has to pay child support even if he doesn't have custody.  He obviously doesn't know the laws and is scaring you.  Try and renew your visa.  Why did you let it expire?  Stay living with your parents perhaps try and attend a local college.  Once your visa is renewed go out and find a job. 

GLO682
by on Apr. 16, 2013 at 3:52 PM

 you have to be an unfit mother to have your child taken from you. most courts favor the mom. i wouldn't be too worried about it, he is more than likely bluffing.

easinpc
by Gold Member on Apr. 16, 2013 at 3:56 PM
1 mom liked this

Hugs!!

DissieDothe
by on Apr. 16, 2013 at 4:04 PM

Does his criminal history include probation? Was he living with you & your baby in your parents home until you separated? Who paid the medical bills for your pregnancy & baby? Have you or your parents filed for an order of protection against him? Does he have a valid address that he has maintained for 6 mos to a year? How long has he been employed on his current job? Is his criminal problems dui related or more serious felonies?

The more you know - the less that you will be intimidated by his threats. Does he have other children & possibly child support for them?



mumii17
by on Apr. 16, 2013 at 4:21 PM
Thank you and Im actually already registered to go back to school this upcoming Fall.


Quoting steviechick:

If anything your ex has a criminal record if he thinks that justifies him of being a decent father then good luck to him! 


You are the mother.  Unless you are deemed mentally unstable you are able to keep your child.  Your ex has to pay child support even if he doesn't have custody.  He obviously doesn't know the laws and is scaring you.  Try and renew your visa.  Why did you let it expire?  Stay living with your parents perhaps try and attend a local college.  Once your visa is renewed go out and find a job. 


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mumii17
by on Apr. 16, 2013 at 4:27 PM
Yes is actually on probation for a year for possession and use of marijuana. No he wasn't living with us at our parents we had the apartment together until he kicked me out. I'm paying all medical bills for me and my son. Yes my parents have a restraining order on him. He's only been living at the apartment for 4 months. He goes from job to job usually doesn't last more then 4 month's on each job. and yes he does have another son who is almost 4 years old and he doesn't pay child support because he convinced her to take it away...


Quoting DissieDothe:

Does his criminal history include probation? Was he living with you & your baby in your parents home until you separated? Who paid the medical bills for your pregnancy & baby? Have you or your parents filed for an order of protection against him? Does he have a valid address that he has maintained for 6 mos to a year? How long has he been employed on his current job? Is his criminal problems dui related or more serious felonies?

The more you know - the less that you will be intimidated by his threats. Does he have other children & possibly child support for them?




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mumii17
by on Apr. 16, 2013 at 4:28 PM
I sure hope so...


Quoting GLO682:

 you have to be an unfit mother to have your child taken from you. most courts favor the mom. i wouldn't be too worried about it, he is more than likely bluffing.


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Meg2011425
by Member on Apr. 16, 2013 at 5:27 PM
I have that fear. I'm currently fight the state (DCS). My ex made a report in December and they are investigating it. My permanency hearing is scheduled for July 8. My ex has supervised visitation twice a week but the last 2.5 weeks he has not visited our son. My son is also autistic but high functioning. My ex is the type of man that manipulates me to give him what he wants and is currently using the blame game and putting our son in the middle. Telling me its my fault I left. Yes I did leave him and our marriage however I wasn't going to keep being tortured by him. Most states prove you unfit before they take your child. With his record I don't think they'd take him. I get child support but it comes directly from his parents. If he fails to comply he rights get terminated by the court on July 8. Good luck! I think you'll do fine.
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