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10- things not to ask a Military Spouse

Posted by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 5:03 PM
  • 18 Replies

 

1. How do you deal with your husband being away for so long?

Let’s see: I wake up, I make breakfast, I feed the dog… Basically, I live my life. But it can be a struggle, and I’d rather not talk about how challenging and emotional my life sometimes is.

 

2. What will you do if your husband gets stationed someplace else?

Um, I’ll move.

 

3. Are you allowed to work?

Why wouldn’t I be?

 

4. I notice your children are close in age. Are they “deployment babies”?

Are you asking if I accidentally conceived my children having “homecoming sex” after my husband returned from his deployment? Actually, we intentionally wanted our children to be close in age. But while we’re on the subject, would you like to tell me if your children were “accidents”?

 

5. Aren’t you glad you have free health insurance?

The price I pay for my free health insurance being married to a man who deploys to war zones for months at a time. I’d rather pay for my insurance and have him working a desk job down the street.

 

6. Thank goodness for Skype, right?

Yes… When my husband is able to find a decent internet connection, I love being able to see his blurry face for a few minutes, but do you have any idea how frustrating it is to constantly lose the connection? Also, a video chat doesn’t replace a face-to-face conversation.

 

7. Aren’t you glad he’s not gone for a full year?

Of course I am, but please don’t minimize how difficult a 60- or 90-day deployment is on my family.

 

9. Do you just resent your husband all the time?

Do you resent yours?

 

10. Do you worry that your husband will cheat on you when he is deployed?

No, I worry about his safety. Do you worry your husband will cheat on you at the office? Also, stop asking stupid questions.

 

A huge thank you to the military spouses who shared with me some of the dumb and inappropriate questions they’ve been asked!

I was once married to the military , - no one ever asked, so please feel free and I will answer the questions

by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 5:03 PM
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Replies (1-10):
kristinas8
by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 5:48 PM
I'm dating someone most likely going in the military. I know it will be challenging but I'm up for it.
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grneyedormom
by Kendra on Apr. 17, 2013 at 5:53 PM
I was married to a military man and never got asked these questions but I'm pretty sure there are lots of spouses out there that do get asked them.
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cholita1978
by Member on Apr. 17, 2013 at 6:02 PM
Im in the Navy, and its funny how i get the "what branch is your husband in? Or how do you do it? And one time when I was pregnant one woman told me "i didnt know you were allowed to get pregnant in the military"
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mag12305cmg
by Member on Apr. 17, 2013 at 10:42 PM
My soon to be ex was in the military for 8 years, 7 of it we were together...I think the only question I ever got asked was how do you do it and my answer was, I just do!
Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Apr. 17, 2013 at 11:08 PM

I can't imagine how hard it would be......

LifeCafe42
by Nora on Apr. 17, 2013 at 11:09 PM
Tfs it's kinda like the I don't know how you're a single mom question well I do it
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steviechick
by Gold Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 10:24 AM

I was once married to a military man, too.  I've never been asked these questions - he was only in the military for (reinlisted) six years.  However, I can say that he did cheat on me while he was in the military.  Sadly, and pathetically enough, he used the time away from home (he was stationed three hours away) to chase after a co-worker behind my back.

Now, I also grew up in the military as my step-dad was US Army (30 yrs).  He was deployed only a few times for a few months.  We lived on base and off-base.  We lived around other military wives and families off-base.  Not once did my mom have to answer stupid questions like this AND, if she did, she would have answered just like the wives did - open and honest. 

It's amazing just how uninformed (stupid) the public is about military life in general. 

Thanks for sharing, brieri!

krisnkids
by Gold Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 10:28 AM

I used to laugh at them. When my ex got injured in Kuwait I had even worse questions. People have no social graces anymore.

krisnkids
by Gold Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 10:30 AM

Ugh, this drives me nuts. I was Navy for 5 years and to this day when I go to restaurants on Veterans day for their celebrations it is always assumed that I am not a veteran. Thankfully the folks at the VA have finally stopped assuming that I was a spouse. 


Quoting cholita1978:

Im in the Navy, and its funny how i get the "what branch is your husband in? Or how do you do it? And one time when I was pregnant one woman told me "i didnt know you were allowed to get pregnant in the military"


 

easinpc
by Gold Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 1:49 PM

When my now exhusband was deployed I was asked a few of those questions.  Lol especially when I got pregnant in the middle of his deployment.  That really caused some questions. 

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