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Baby daddy gf problems

Posted by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 6:51 PM
  • 8 Replies

I'm currently 6 months pregnant with a beautiful baby boy. It is a messy situation with his father because he cheated on his gf with me and i had no idea. He had told me they broke up and I liked him so much I fell for him.  He has been the only guy to give me butterflies, even his friends saw a difference in his personality when we were together. When he told me they were getting "back together" he never said he loved her and pretty much said it was an obligation. Then a few weeks later I find out I'm pregnant which was a big surprise. He wants to be there for his son and be around for him but he is still with his gf and I don't see him leaving anytime soon. she knows all about me and doesnt like me because of the situation. I have asked her a couple of times to have a sit down civil talk to clear the air but she has never given me a response about it. I want us to be civil to eachother for the sake of our kids, but i feel like im wanting that alone. I don't want to keep my son's father away from him but I'm just scared of what she will do to my son if anything. I also dont want her to be the reason my kid doesnt know his dad or brother and sister (he has 2 other kids with her). When we go to mediation I'm going to make it a rule that she is to never have my son alone. Am I being reasonable or too harsh?

by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 6:51 PM
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by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 6:55 PM

You're being reasonable right now... it's going to take her longer than 5-6 months to get over the fact that he's having a baby with you. 

It took me a LONG time to get over my ex having kids with his now ex-wife. 

by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 7:09 PM
If the situation isn't good don't put his name on the birth certificate. Its important that you take it one day at a time with out judgment. The girlfriend is having hard time to give it time But remember she has your boys siblings witch makes her family too.
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by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 7:16 PM

I understand that it will take her time to come around but I feel like I have been the bigger person throughout this whole thing. I do want  my son to know his siblings but its hard to get along with someone who cant even have a sit down talk with you so everything can be civil. I know its not easy but I've gotten over most of this stuff and I was in love with him. I just want her to know that as long as they are together him and I will have nothing romantic or intimate going on.

by Bronze Member on Apr. 17, 2013 at 7:36 PM
My kids step mom will not speak to me... but that is not a reason to keep my kids away from their Dad. You can not with hold visitation out of fear. She may never speak to you, but your child is also the father's child... who is the father of her kids too. She may end up being a great step mom whether she speaks to u or not
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by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 7:48 PM
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It sounds reasonable, but really it is not if the GF will be around for a while.  you have to realize whenever your child is with them she will be involved in your child's life. If your ex has to leave for a quick run, or an emergency comes up, your child will be left with her. I've been on both sides not wanting my kid to be around the GF and the GF not wanting her kid to be around me. I hope all adults can be mature enough to do whats best for the kid. Good luck!

by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 11:24 PM
Step in the other shoes. You have a child with him that now involves her too. How would you want to be treated?
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by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 11:49 PM

I think over time she will come around and accept the baby...may be after he is born.  Don't force a relatioship with the father, nor shut him out. 

by Gold Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 1:40 AM

I would not even do anything yet. However you have no grounds at all to request she not be around the baby. She is the mother to his 2 kids and the mom of your babys half siblings. She has not done anything wrong. you are the one that got pregnant with a man with a family, why are you mad at her? I think she is crazy for staying with him but if they stay together there is nothing you can do about that. Perhaps their relationship will end after the baby comes. She does not have to talk to you or like you and honestly I would not either...sorry to be harsh but you are the person he cheated with. See how involved the Dad wants to be first, then work out visitation at your house just with him. See where you are at with that the first year or so. It is possible she may not want the baby at the house anyways and if Dad agrees to that, well problem solved. I would never stay with anyone though that interfered in my relationship with my kid.

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