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Visitation of daughter....with parents in 2 seperarate states

Posted by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 2:01 AM
  • 19 Replies
Does anyone have any idea how visitations might be set up for a child with parents in seperate states? The father is in NJ and will be filing to have joint custody/visitation rights. They were never married. He tried to talk to her about visits but she flat out refused. She's giving him a very hard time and he's trying to find out his rights as a father. His name is not on the birth certificate. He'll be talking to a lawyer and filing the paper work, but in the mean time I wanted to try and find some answers for him. He's a good friend.
by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 2:01 AM
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Replies (1-10):
chirpymama87
by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 4:21 AM
Well, in CA, from what I understand, he'd have to do a suit for paternity to prove he's the father first, if he is not named on the BC. Then once that is established he can "sue" her to get their daughter's BC ammended by the courts to add his name on it. (That'll help in the long run)... He may think he has rights but if he does not have ANY documentation at this point proving without a doubt that he's the father, and if she's cold-hearted, she can keep her daughter from him, unfortunately. There's really no law against that if there's no proof. So lawyer up! Prepare for a lengthy process cause if he was never in the picture before, she may try to keep him out of it for good.... Proof is in the paperwork, not looks and hearsay. Sorry.
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Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Apr. 18, 2013 at 7:46 AM
I'm sure they will have to go through paternity testing first. Then being as she is uncooperative a court hearing.
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krisnkids
by Gold Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 8:44 AM
1 mom liked this

Your friend is not 'dad' right now, to the child he is a legal stranger. Mom does not need to give your friend the time of day because legally there is no connection. If he wants to see the child he needs to establish paterntiy and ask for visitation rights. The courts are not going to just come out and give him joint custody of a child who does not even know him. Graduated visitation would be what he shoots for to start with.

superwoman39
by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 9:01 AM
Quoting chirpymama87:

Well, in CA, from what I understand, he'd have to do a suit for paternity to prove he's the father first, if he is not named on the BC. Then once that is established he can "sue" her to get their daughter's BC ammended by the courts to add his name on it. (That'll help in the long run)... He may think he has rights but if he does not have ANY documentation at this point proving without a doubt that he's the father, and if she's cold-hearted, she can keep her daughter from him, unfortunately. There's really no law against that if there's no proof. So lawyer up! Prepare for a lengthy process cause if he was never in the picture before, she may try to keep him out of it for good.... Proof is in the paperwork, not looks and hearsay. Sorry.

He knows he'll have to get a paternity test. I told him he should have got that when she announced to him that he was the father.She was2! He doesn't have any documentation and from what he has told me, she's very cold-hearted! That's exactly what she's trying to do... keep him from her. He was in his daughter's life for the last eight years until his ex decided to up and move!! He knows it's a process. Thanks!
Jennyanne322
by Bronze Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 9:02 AM
What state is the child in?
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superwoman39
by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 9:04 AM
Quoting Mommyto2LilMen:

I'm sure they will have to go through paternity testing first. Then being as she is uncooperative a court hearing.

He's taking all the necessary steps and getting a lawyer . Thanks!

conniejo75
by Bronze Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 9:14 AM
He was in her life without being on BC? At least he can show he knows the child.
When ex and I lived in different states, we had joint custody... he always had legal rights to get medical and school records and when kids were with him, he didn't need my permission for anything.
Visitation was every other major holiday, summer vacation of 4 weeks, and if he wanted to come to my state he had one weekend a month. He never used that though. We shared cost of transportation.


Quoting superwoman39:

Quoting chirpymama87:

Well, in CA, from what I understand, he'd have to do a suit for paternity to prove he's the father first, if he is not named on the BC. Then once that is established he can "sue" her to get their daughter's BC ammended by the courts to add his name on it. (That'll help in the long run)... He may think he has rights but if he does not have ANY documentation at this point proving without a doubt that he's the father, and if she's cold-hearted, she can keep her daughter from him, unfortunately. There's really no law against that if there's no proof. So lawyer up! Prepare for a lengthy process cause if he was never in the picture before, she may try to keep him out of it for good.... Proof is in the paperwork, not looks and hearsay. Sorry.

He knows he'll have to get a paternity test. I told him he should have got that when she announced to him that he was the father.She was2! He doesn't have any documentation and from what he has told me, she's very cold-hearted! That's exactly what she's trying to do... keep him from her. He was in his daughter's life for the last eight years until his ex decided to up and move!! He knows it's a process. Thanks!

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superwoman39
by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 9:35 AM
Quoting krisnkids:

Your friend is not 'dad' right now, to the child he is a legal stranger. Mom does not need to give your friend the time of day because legally there is no connection. If he wants to see the child he needs to establish paterntiy and ask for visitation rights. The courts are not going to just come out and give him joint custody of a child who does not even know him. Graduated visitation would be what he shoots for to start with.


Let's get a couple of things straight...his child DOES know him! He's been in her life for the last 8 years UNTIL his ex up and left! Ofcourse he wants to see her that's why he's getting a lawyer and taking the necessary steps. Mom will be giving him the time of day (with his daughter) after things are settled in court! He does not have proof at this moment (paternity or on birth certificate) but he is definitely "daddy" in her eyes and have been until she was taken from him. The test will LEGALLY prrove it! Next time just ask, don't assume things!
superwoman39
by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 9:36 AM
Quoting Jennyanne322:

What state is the child in?

She's in Texas
Traci2012
by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 9:48 AM

In IL an actual DNA test is not needed to establish parentage unless the mother refuses to him being the father or the father questions paternity. He would however have to go to court to establish he is the father prior to visitation being set up. As far the separate state thing, I believe it will go by the laws set in the state in which the child lives.

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