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Posted by on Apr. 20, 2013 at 4:30 AM
  • 8 Replies
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Hi, my name is Rockie. I am 19 my son is 5months. I am not a single mother yet, but am currently trying to get out of an abusive relationship. I am researching my options and custody laws. I hope to gather resources and advice from this group. Thank you.
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by on Apr. 20, 2013 at 4:30 AM
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Replies (1-8):
Robsessed98
by on Apr. 20, 2013 at 5:50 AM
2 moms liked this
Welcome. If you're in an abusive relationship, your only option is to get out. If not for you, do it for your baby. If its bad now, it will only get worse if you stay.
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Carla-Nikkole
by on Apr. 20, 2013 at 6:34 AM
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You sound like an awful STRONG & INTELLIGENT 19 yr old! What an awesome Women and mother you are! You are making a choice that a lot of women aren't strong or brave enough to make. I will keep you and yours prayer and if your ever in need of an encouraging I'll have one waiting. If you can think of anything that I could possibly do for you if I am able.......I will!
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LauraMH
by on Apr. 20, 2013 at 9:45 AM
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Hi Rocky. Good for you for trying to get out. I have been in your exact same shoes; 19 years old 5 mo baby, abusive boyfriend, etc... I left a few times and every time went back until I ended up marrying him. It does not get better (I did eventually leave and get divorced) and if you can, I encourage you to leave now. I know it is more difficult that most people can understand but I will tell you it is possible.
Get in touch with your local domestic violence shelter and they can help you with everything. When you get a RO, make sure it is for you AND you baby. Keep any and all evidence you have, photos, police reports, threatening emails or texts, anything that you possibly can. Keep all those things at a safe place such as work or a relatives house. When you do go to court, don't waiver. Abusive men are master manipulators and know how to charm their way back into your life as well as "prove" to the courts that they have done nothing wrong. Everything an abuser does is for their own benefit, that is the most important thing to remember. Because this can be so hard and confusing, it is best to have an advocate by your side to walk you through it. Most states have free legal aid that you may be able to use. I wish you only the best honey and please let me know if I can do anything to help you. There is also an amazing domestic violence support group on here too that is very encouraging and offers a ton of support and advice. Good luck honey.
brieri
by Platinum Member on Apr. 20, 2013 at 2:18 PM
1 mom liked this

coffeemuffinFor you.  Welcome to the group. 

Shygirl951
by on Apr. 20, 2013 at 9:21 PM
Thank you so much, you don't know how good it feels to hear that. My friends aren't exactly supportive of my decisions only seeing his outside persona and my mother doesn't think I'm strong enough.


Quoting Carla-Nikkole:

Mobile Photo

You sound like an awful STRONG & INTELLIGENT 19 yr old! What an awesome Women and mother you are! You are making a choice that a lot of women aren't strong or brave enough to make. I will keep you and yours prayer and if your ever in need of an encouraging I'll have one waiting. If you can think of anything that I could possibly do for you if I am able.......I will!

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Shygirl951
by on Apr. 20, 2013 at 9:23 PM
1 mom liked this
Thank you so much. It feels good to be surrounded by people who have been there and conquered it.


Quoting LauraMH:

Hi Rocky. Good for you for trying to get out. I have been in your exact same shoes; 19 years old 5 mo baby, abusive boyfriend, etc... I left a few times and every time went back until I ended up marrying him. It does not get better (I did eventually leave and get divorced) and if you can, I encourage you to leave now. I know it is more difficult that most people can understand but I will tell you it is possible.

Get in touch with your local domestic violence shelter and they can help you with everything. When you get a RO, make sure it is for you AND you baby. Keep any and all evidence you have, photos, police reports, threatening emails or texts, anything that you possibly can. Keep all those things at a safe place such as work or a relatives house. When you do go to court, don't waiver. Abusive men are master manipulators and know how to charm their way back into your life as well as "prove" to the courts that they have done nothing wrong. Everything an abuser does is for their own benefit, that is the most important thing to remember. Because this can be so hard and confusing, it is best to have an advocate by your side to walk you through it. Most states have free legal aid that you may be able to use. I wish you only the best honey and please let me know if I can do anything to help you. There is also an amazing domestic violence support group on here too that is very encouraging and offers a ton of support and advice. Good luck honey.

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Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Apr. 20, 2013 at 10:24 PM
1 mom liked this
Welcome Hun!!!
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Homeschoolmom10
by on Apr. 20, 2013 at 11:28 PM
1 mom liked this

I agree with these other ladies. If your in a dangerous situation you need to get out ASAP!!!! That being said I KNOW how hard that is.... Much easier said than done!!! I agree contact the closest domestic abuse shelter, they will usually provide you with an advocate free of charge who can help with court stuff like a restraining order. They can also help you apply for assistance if needed, and even help you find housing if you need it. You need to remember no matter what he may tell you it is NOT your fault your being abused. Keep your head up, I am praying for you! :)

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