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babies father has a new girlfriend and i'm still pregnant?

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My name is Theresa, i am currently 17 weeks and 6 days pregnant. My due date is september 23rd 2013

my issue is that the guy i was living with and conceived both mine and his first child with is now dating another girl just three months after we broke up and while i don't harbor any feelings for him considering i'm the one who ended the relationship it still bothers me alot more than i expected. Once reason i think it bothers me is because the whole reason we didn't work is because he refused to commit to a relationship and refused to stop talking to other girls, and after all the stress he put me through with my decision to keep the baby he is now dating some girl he barely knows who has a baby herself?

he and i have had a rocky relationship ever since we broke up, he didn't want the baby and refused to tell his family, when he said he was going to just pretend i had an abortion and walk away i was so angry with his immaturity that i told his mother for him, since then he has made a complete 180 degrees and was acting like he was super excited....i wasn't fooled. after my father passed away and he only acted rude and harsh on such a terrible day, and after not helping me with anything pregnancy related (medicaid, wic, etc.) i told him that besides appointments i wanted nothing to do with him (this also had to do with him insisting on a paternity test...silly to me considering we lived together and spent everyday together....plus i'm just not a cheater). he was only too happy to do as i asked at first but lately he has been texting me silly things asking random questions....most i ignored unless they were about the baby. But now that i know he has a gf, wasn't planning on even telling me and he has also refused to tell anybody in his family besides his parents about the pregnancy i have told him i no longer want him at the appointments....i don't think its fair that his presence should ruin my experience now that he obviously doesnt care about me or the baby.

my overall question is..... Do you think i was too harsh? and/or What would you do in my place? also Why do you think that his new girlfriend is bothering me so much when i really wouldn't want to get back together with him?

by on Apr. 21, 2013 at 1:30 AM
Replies (11-18):
Dawnie-marie
by Dawn on Apr. 22, 2013 at 7:36 AM

It's not harsh at all my ex got a girl pregnant two months earlier than me with our youngest son iMovie 2 states away from him

sarahmiamaria
by Bronze Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 12:54 PM
Can I ask how old both you and the dad are?
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MommieJ
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 1:12 PM
1 mom liked this

I agree with the ladies above, I don't feel like you are being to harsh either. Men can be very immature and selfih most of the time. I am 33 weeks pregnant from a, lets call him a boy because that is how he acts. We were not even dating, just friends from work. He is married and at the time his wife was 7 months pregnant herself. Let's just say that he took advantage and forced things upon me that I did not want or consent to and now I am almost ready to have his child. Since then I have only heard from him 3 times, via email. However I have made it clear that if he wanted to be a part of this childs life he had to make the effort. I wasn't going to chase him and try to make him be something he doesn't want to do. I don't have the time the patience or the energy to do that and this baby derserves better. 

I say be strong, for you and your baby. Do what's right for you! You can't force anyone to be a part of anything. I would definately go after for child support, he helped make the baby he can help pay for the cost of a baby. I wish you the best of luck. I know it's going to be hard but you can do it!

hugs

Monsita
by Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 1:18 PM

prayingI think you are in some way feeling a little mad that he is trying to be in  a  relationship with someone else WHEN YOU FELT HE DID NOT REALLY GIVE IT TO YOU RELATIONSHIP A HONEST TRY!!!

It is ok, to have those feelings!  i am very sorry he is acting like a teenager.....in time you will feel better, until then, focus in your baby and you!

kitcal78
by Gigi on Apr. 23, 2013 at 7:13 AM
I'm 34 my son's father is 44. When I told him I was pregnant he almost had a heart attack. He went had a 3 way call with my mom and I to try talk my into having me abort the baby. My mom was not on board for that. Long story short he helped out for his own selfish reasons. The main one was to keep me from filing for child support. After he ignored my text and calls for months I broke down and filed. Found out he had 4 other child support orders he was pay. He told me had a daughter. Was estranged from his family barely communicated with them.

Apparently while we were together he failed to mention he had 3sons. Last one was born two months before we started dating. It appears to me that men are no longer men. Little boys playing a man's position. One most men are not fit to do. Anyway sorry about that. My commom sense reader was broke for a two years.

Honey you could see your ex for who he really was. You made the choices you did for the well being and safety of you and your unborn child. Clearly is priorities, sense of responsibility and morals are screwed up. You did better way better then most in this situation. Your character and self esteem are very strong. You were not harsh at all.
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sketchmonster
by Member on Apr. 23, 2013 at 7:23 AM
Just be glad you ended it when you did! So many of us found out the hard way that our husbands/boyfriends/etc had another woman and sometimes even entire families on the side. Mine even had another baby who was older than mine already; then got the girl pregnant again right after I gave birth to my daughter. So glad you got out quickly! You'll be thankful for it later but it's totally normal to feel the way you do. Hugs!
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theresa13183
by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 6:24 PM

i am 19 about to turn 20 and he turned 20 a couple weeks before we concieved...we are both young but i don't think with his age he should be acting so infantile. he is now harrassing my entire family over text and facebook insulting my sister and mother. to the point where we block him on facebook and i now don't plan on putting him on the birth certificate at all

he obviously has such a bad temperment and attitude towards women and no respect i wouldn't trust him with my baby so i'd rather just say he isn't the dad at all....i'm afraid he"ll fight it in court but i'll be ready with evidence to prove that he isn't worthy and his whole family is not responsible and just plain dangerous to be around

theresa13183
by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 6:25 PM

thank you all for the support it really helps and i am sorry that most of you have similar stories to tell because going through this situation i wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy

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