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How to deal with 3 year old aggressive behavior.

Posted by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 1:14 PM
  • 11 Replies
My son is 3 and his behavior is out of hand and getting worse after today I don't know what to do anymore. Back in April I promised my ex he can have the kids for two weeks and when he took the kids I told him that our final court that he missed again has been set and he will have visitation one weekend a month with extended summer visitation and child support he was pissed cussed me was very angry our son witnessed this then he came back and handed the kids back he doesn't want them anymore. So with what their father did and not seeing them anymore am wondering if that's it or also when he seen my bf leaving also for pre-deployment, he thinks he will to abandon him like his dad. Today I was at the store because he didn't get something he screamed bit me and in the car he made a fist and punched me in the forehead and bit me again screaming at me. His behavior is getting very aggressive, when my bf comes to visit on the weekends he talks to him and he's okay he only listen to men not me. My bf says to hang in there till his deployment is over and will get him straighten out but that a very long way to go. Any advice ladies that may help me, spanking isn't something I want to do. Thank You.
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by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 1:14 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Monsita
by Bronze Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 1:24 PM
1 mom liked this

My 2 1/2 years old is almost like that, however, what seems to work is that when he is behaving like that EITHER MY HUSBAND OR I would hold him very tied, very close to our heart. We keep on hugging him UNTIL HE CALMS DOWN!

I KNOW IT CAN BE VERY FRUSTRATED...please find a way to stayed calmed yourself and hug him EVEN IF HE IS FIGHTING YOU!!!!hugs

Blessed_Mommy87
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 1:28 PM
Thank You I have tried that and looked at him in the eye and nothing but I keep trying. I want to fix this before gets really bad


Quoting Monsita:

My 2 1/2 years old is almost like that, however, what seems to work is that when he is behaving like that EITHER MY HUSBAND OR I would hold him very tied, very close to our heart. We keep on hugging him UNTIL HE CALMS DOWN!


I KNOW IT CAN BE VERY FRUSTRATED...please find a way to stayed calmed yourself and hug him EVEN IF HE IS FIGHTING YOU!!!!hugs


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MommieJ
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 1:33 PM
1 mom liked this

I am sorry that you are having to deal with this mostly on your own. I have been fortunate enough to have a very mild mannered daughter. Your son is very upset and angry about something and that is how he is trying to vent it. Might I suggest some therapy? There are people who know how to get into a childs thinking and will be able to give some other helpful ideas. I agree that spanking is not the way either, you don't want to fight aggression with aggression. 

Keep your head and and continue being the best momma you can be!

good luck

Monsita
by Bronze Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 1:35 PM
1 mom liked this

 


Quoting Blessed_Mommy87:

Thank You I have tried that and looked at him in the eye and nothing but I keep trying. I want to fix this before gets really bad


Quoting Monsita:

My 2 1/2 years old is almost like that, however, what seems to work is that when he is behaving like that EITHER MY HUSBAND OR I would hold him very tied, very close to our heart. We keep on hugging him UNTIL HE CALMS DOWN!


I KNOW IT CAN BE VERY FRUSTRATED...please find a way to stayed calmed yourself and hug him EVEN IF HE IS FIGHTING YOU!!!!hugs



 YOU WILL HELP HIM......with love and hugs! lol   by the way DO NOT TALK TO HIM much DURING THE TIME YOU ARE HUGGING HIM!!!!  it takes time....we have been doing this for 3 months!

gardensparrow
by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 2:24 PM

Sorry you're facing such a rough time with your son. I know it gets tricky knowing the best way to respond to these types of behavior. But, I agree with MommieJ's suggestion of looking into some therapy. It never hurts to get a professional's opinion. Or, you might even want to bring this up with your pediatrician. I'm sure they've run into this with other kids, and might be able to give you some strategies to use with your son. Lastly, I have read that the key in some situations like this where kids are getting out of control is to try and keep your cool (easier said than done I know!) and give them a time out of sorts. For instance, have some designated area like a play pen/bedroom where your son can't hurt herself or do any damage and give him some time alone. Sometimes, kids are looking for a reaction and this shows them that they won't get the attention they want by acting out/hitting/kicking/etc. Of course, if there's some other root problems to why your son is acting this way, it's important to get to the bottom of it. But, might be worth a try if you haven't gone this route already. Well, my prayers will be with you. Hang in there!

CheyMar90
by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 2:35 PM
1 mom liked this

i know my reply wont help your situation at all.. but my son is kinda similar .. Rhyen is 2, almost 3 and his father liked to come in and out of his life and ive finally put my foot down about it. My bf spends TONS of time with my son and he never acts out while the bf is around.. 
but sometimes rhyen likes to push my limits, im not sure if he is just "being a boy" or what the deal is..
but i know it is very difficult.. i sometimes show that im upset with him and that causes him to act out even more and push more limits.
yesterday i grabbed the fly swatter and told him to get to his room , i didnt touch him with it and i never laid a hand on him, didnt even have to raise my voice towards him..
i guess he just knew i was serious sincei  had the swatter in my hand.  

kaylaybaby666
by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 2:37 PM
1 mom liked this
I would pop my child in the mouth if she ever bit me. That is so unacceptable and the punching, spank his butt. Thats no way for a child to behave
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Blessed_Mommy87
by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 4:53 PM
Same here my bf spends more time and he listen to him when uses a firm voice and says no. I don't talk to him or answer him or calls me I tell him you were mean to mommy so you will have to think what you did. I guess he's getting some if the point he came and gave me a hug yesterday saying sorry mommy.


Quoting CheyMar90:

i know my reply wont help your situation at all.. but my son is kinda similar .. Rhyen is 2, almost 3 and his father liked to come in and out of his life and ive finally put my foot down about it. My bf spends TONS of time with my son and he never acts out while the bf is around.. 
but sometimes rhyen likes to push my limits, im not sure if he is just "being a boy" or what the deal is..
but i know it is very difficult.. i sometimes show that im upset with him and that causes him to act out even more and push more limits.
yesterday i grabbed the fly swatter and told him to get to his room , i didnt touch him with it and i never laid a hand on him, didnt even have to raise my voice towards him..
i guess he just knew i was serious sincei  had the swatter in my hand.  


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Blessed_Mommy87
by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 4:57 PM
Thank you I do put him in timeout me let him know that if he acts like that he will be in it, I take all toys away and let him be in his room but its not always working so I may take him to the doctor or therapy I can't have embarrass me in public like that all the time. My daughter is two so trying to hold her and my son acting like that isn't good and hard.


Quoting gardensparrow:

Sorry you're facing such a rough time with your son. I know it gets tricky knowing the best way to respond to these types of behavior. But, I agree with MommieJ's suggestion of looking into some therapy. It never hurts to get a professional's opinion. Or, you might even want to bring this up with your pediatrician. I'm sure they've run into this with other kids, and might be able to give you some strategies to use with your son. Lastly, I have read that the key in some situations like this where kids are getting out of control is to try and keep your cool (easier said than done I know!) and give them a time out of sorts. For instance, have some designated area like a play pen/bedroom where your son can't hurt herself or do any damage and give him some time alone. Sometimes, kids are looking for a reaction and this shows them that they won't get the attention they want by acting out/hitting/kicking/etc. Of course, if there's some other root problems to why your son is acting this way, it's important to get to the bottom of it. But, might be worth a try if you haven't gone this route already. Well, my prayers will be with you. Hang in there!


gardensparrow
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 10:53 AM
1 mom liked this

Well, I hope you're able to get to the bottom of what's going on in therapy or with your doctor. I'll be praying that you find the right person to meet with!

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