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All men are terrible dads ALSO OPINIONS NEEDED

Posted by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 4:42 PM
  • 15 Replies
I have always said there is no way a dad could love their child nearly as much as a mother. Until I saw a man in the store today with his kids. He seemed like such a good dad and just by seein how he was and talked with them made me change my mind, there was no mommy in sight.
I think I have this outlook on men because my grandfather was a horrible father to my mother and aunt. And MY dad? He lives about 20 minutes up the road and NEVER comes to see me or my sister or his grandchildren. I use to go see him all the time until I realized he didn't care whether I did or didn't. He wasn't even in my life until I was 13 and then I saw him a couple times a year, only when and if he needed something.
And now my baby's father has seen her about two times when she was about 2 months old, (she's 10 months now) and he only lives about 10 minutes away. He has other children too but the only reason he sees them a lot is because his mother loves her grandchildren, with the exception of my daughter, which she couldn't give two craps about.
I was just venting . But since I'm on the subject let me ask you a question and give me your opinion of what you would do,
Like I said above, my DDs fathers family has never been involved in her life and this past Christmas his mother (Billie) sent me a message on Facebook asking if she could see my daughter for Xmas. She has never tried to see my daughter before btw. I didn't answer her message because I didn't really think she deserved the right But I figured if she sent another message then she must really want to see her, so I waited, she never sent another one. It's getting close to my daughters 1st birthday and I'm expecting Billie to ask again. Here's my problem, I would not care one bit to let them see her IF they would contact me more than once a year, maybe just ask how she is. I don't think it would be fair to introduce my daughter to them and then only see them once or twice a year. It would confuse her. What would you do??? Btw, it's not my DDs father asking, it's his mom. (DDs dad said he couldn't have anything to do with us anymore because his new GF was jealous) pathetic excuse.
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by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 4:42 PM
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Replies (1-10):
brieri
by Platinum Member on Apr. 23, 2013 at 5:20 PM
1 mom liked this

 So you expect your dad to come to see you, because you are wanting to establishi a relationship with him.  When you writing and saying he doesn't come see me or his grandchildren, is not putting a burned on him.  It's putting the burden on you.  Take your child and yourself to him and establish the relationship, and over time, I bet he will come to see you. 

The same for your child's grandmother - let your child see her grandmother and over time there is an establishbed relationship. 

Who cares about the dad's g/f - she's nothing between you and your ex and  your child.  If he doesn't want to see her - that's his problem - not yours.  Be the best mom you can be to your child and show your child the true meaning of family life.

KRIZZ25
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get man out of the white house put god back in and see what happens..
Today at 1:03 PM
by Platinum Member on Apr. 23, 2013 at 5:25 PM
1 mom liked this
JMO..THY WOULD TRY IF THY CARED.IF THY DON'T TRY U SHOULDN'T CARE.
Mommie_to_Bee
by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 5:34 PM
1 mom liked this
No I don't want to establish a relationship with my dad, not anymore. I've tried for years but all he cares about is alcohol and drugs so I've given up on that, I was just saying all the men in my life and my family's life is why I always thought all dads were like that. But thanks for the advice on everything else I'm just worried that my daughters fathers family will only want to see her on occasions and she won't understand why.


Quoting brieri:

 So you expect your dad to come to see you, because you are wanting to establishi a relationship with him.  When you writing and saying he doesn't come see me or his grandchildren, is not putting a burned on him.  It's putting the burden on you.  Take your child and yourself to him and establish the relationship, and over time, I bet he will come to see you. 


The same for your child's grandmother - let your child see her grandmother and over time there is an establishbed relationship. 


Who cares about the dad's g/f - she's nothing between you and your ex and  your child.  If he doesn't want to see her - that's his problem - not yours.  Be the best mom you can be to your child and show your child the true meaning of family life.


brieri
by Platinum Member on Apr. 23, 2013 at 6:05 PM

 She will undstand if given the chance.  Don't hold it against her to not being able to see her extended family whenever she can.  Give her a little freedom and you wll find the happiness within.

Quoting Mommie_to_Bee:

No I don't want to establish a relationship with my dad, not anymore. I've tried for years but all he cares about is alcohol and drugs so I've given up on that, I was just saying all the men in my life and my family's life is why I always thought all dads were like that. But thanks for the advice on everything else I'm just worried that my daughters fathers family will only want to see her on occasions and she won't understand why.


Quoting brieri:

 So you expect your dad to come to see you, because you are wanting to establishi a relationship with him.  When you writing and saying he doesn't come see me or his grandchildren, is not putting a burned on him.  It's putting the burden on you.  Take your child and yourself to him and establish the relationship, and over time, I bet he will come to see you. 


The same for your child's grandmother - let your child see her grandmother and over time there is an establishbed relationship. 


Who cares about the dad's g/f - she's nothing between you and your ex and  your child.  If he doesn't want to see her - that's his problem - not yours.  Be the best mom you can be to your child and show your child the true meaning of family life.


 

theresa13183
by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 6:29 PM
1 mom liked this

i say that they obviously don't care if its taken this long for them to even ask to see her so they probably have some alterior motive...don't give in...just ignore them and put the blinders on...as soon as he gets this new girl pregnant his mom will forget all about your little girl again and that wouldn't be fair to your daughter to have them in and out of her life.

Mommie_to_Bee
by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 8:14 PM
He already got his new gf pregnant. She had the baby a couple weeks ago and as far as Facebook tells me ( lol) they all live with his mom


Quoting theresa13183:

i say that they obviously don't care if its taken this long for them to even ask to see her so they probably have some alterior motive...don't give in...just ignore them and put the blinders on...as soon as he gets this new girl pregnant his mom will forget all about your little girl again and that wouldn't be fair to your daughter to have them in and out of her life.


mz23
by Bronze Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 12:23 AM
1 mom liked this
My exs mom wanted to see my dd last Christmas. Before that she prob seeb dd once or twice. Anyways when i was leaving she's like oh i wanna build a rlatshnp with you and the baby so i will call you and we can get together more often months go by, no call. My phone eventually broke and i got a new phone and new number. Suffice to say, i didn't even bother giving her my new number. That while family is a pos as far as I'm concerned.

At first i was going to tell you oh you should take your baby to see her but maybe she just said that cause it's just the holidays. To ser if she really cares, maybe say I'm not sure I'll be in the area during that time but if you want to see her your more than welcome to come by just let me know. If she really wants to see her, she'll make an effort to do that.
jackieb2811
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 12:32 AM
I feel opposite I believe men can be awesome fathers and love their kids just as much if not more than a mother. My dad stayed with me and my 2 sisters after my mom bailed on us when I was a baby and hr had his issues but he was there and we have a great relationship. My SO dad is one of the most amazing men I know hr was a very loving, supportive and involved dad and he is such an easy going and down to earth guy you would never guess he lived a life of hell.
My SO has had a great role model in his dad and hr is a wonderful and caring step dad to my twins and in22 days he will become a first time father to our baby and he is already so involved and loves the baby so much I know he will be such a fantastic father!
Phillymama123
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 8:20 AM
1 mom liked this
Dds dad is a great dad to her in many ways. He does things I don't always agree with but he loves her, spends time with her, has hobbies that are daddy daughter time, is...kinda...active in her education, keeps her clothed fed etc. Dads can be good and bad. So can mom's.
LifeCafe42
by Nora on Apr. 24, 2013 at 9:12 AM
My dad was amazing growing up its not the title it's the person there are plenty of women that don't make good moms
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