Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Single Moms Single Moms

Feeling a little overwhelmed

Posted by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 2:27 AM
  • 4 Replies

So I've been a single mom since basically the moment I was pregnant...&I'm ok w/that...it's complicated between the baby daddy &I (but hey, isn't it always?!!!...lol!) Anyways, my son is 16 months old, and the absolutely LOVE of my life and then tonight as I reflected on how amazing this little boy is, I was struck w/this huge sense of overwhelming "What the heck is wrong w/his father?  How can he NOT care like I do?"  He's only seen his son a few times his whole freakin life, and no matter how nice I am (WAY way way nicer than he deserves) he just doesn't get it.  &MY son is the one who is loosing out.  Does the heart break stop?  Does it get easier to deal w/an "All talk and no action" dad?  It just breaks my heart, especially when my son randomly points out a motorcycle that looks like his dads and goes "Dadda?"  I'm trying my absolute hardest to hold out hope that ONE day he'll understand that he was part of creating a whole human being, and amazing little, whole hearted loving, running, jumping, climbing (spitting imagine of his daddy...ugghhhh) fantastic little boy.  Sometimes the frusteration gets to be overwhelming though.

by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 2:27 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-4):
Affinity05
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 11:58 AM

I understand how you feel and no matter how many people tell you that you can, just like not being able to change someone in a relationship its even harder to change the feelings of an unfit parent. In some situations, the father or mother may come around and do ten times better than they would have if they stuck around in the first place. In other situations they will never come around or just like a yo-yo and that is probably worst on a child than them not being in the picture at all. If you stress your self out over why he isn't there you won't be able to focus on whats best for you and your son if he never comes around. I have two daughters and its always been me and them. When they were little I use to think of how I messed up by allowing myself to settle, but with them being older ages 10 and 12 and still just us, I stopped worrying. I actually enjoy being a single mom. Yes its a struggle and would be a blessing to have help in alot of areas, but I have become selfish with my girls and know I make the best decisions for us. Your son may be missing out on the opportunity of having his dad or a second parent, but he still has you to put his best interest at heart. His dad will be the one missing out if he doesn't wake up. This generation of kids are so much smarter than we were and doing things we would have never imagined doing at a young age to allow ourselves more opportunity. My girls are honor students, both competitive gymnasts, my youngest is in a smart program because she is a math whiz and loves science and my oldest plays the flute in the band select, drama, hershey club (which is a club for young women) and is a barbizon model graduate. I would suggest to have a sit down with your sons father and explain to him how you feel and what you expect from him as his dad and if he comes around great! and if not it will allow you to see a little bit clearer as to what you have to do as a Single Mother. Win!

RockstarMom2011
by Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 1:01 PM

Thanks @Affinity05!!  I was feeling a little overwhlemed last night!  &I have explained to his dad that ALL I want from him is to be a good dad, spend some time w/the kid, play trains, run around, etc!  I love being a mother, and am ok with the busy life of a Single working Mom, as I feel my son is worth WAY more than the sacrifices I make, it's just frusterating!  Thanks for giving me an outlet!

amonkeymom
by Gold Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 2:48 PM

It's hard to understand, isn't it?  I don't understand how any parent cannot want to be there for their child.

Quoting RockstarMom2011:

So I've been a single mom since basically the moment I was pregnant...&I'm ok w/that...it's complicated between the baby daddy &I (but hey, isn't it always?!!!...lol!) Anyways, my son is 16 months old, and the absolutely LOVE of my life and then tonight as I reflected on how amazing this little boy is, I was struck w/this huge sense of overwhelming "What the heck is wrong w/his father?  How can he NOT care like I do?"  He's only seen his son a few times his whole freakin life, and no matter how nice I am (WAY way way nicer than he deserves) he just doesn't get it.  &MY son is the one who is loosing out.  Does the heart break stop?  Does it get easier to deal w/an "All talk and no action" dad?  It just breaks my heart, especially when my son randomly points out a motorcycle that looks like his dads and goes "Dadda?"  I'm trying my absolute hardest to hold out hope that ONE day he'll understand that he was part of creating a whole human being, and amazing little, whole hearted loving, running, jumping, climbing (spitting imagine of his daddy...ugghhhh) fantastic little boy.  Sometimes the frusteration gets to be overwhelming though.


easinpc
by Gold Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 3:09 PM

Hugs!

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN