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This is kind of a premature question bc I'm only 26 weeks with my first... but how do/would you handle if your child had other half siblings?

Ex has a son on tge way with his ex (who he's currently with) and claims her other two kids. To me... I want notging to do with the whol lot of them. To me my son is it.. because I really dont expect bd to be around. I can see having to tell my son he does have at leazt one bio sibling... but I think id rather stick my feet in lava before saying those other two kids are anything to me. Just because HE says they are "his" doesn't mean I have to pretend to does it?

To me my son is an only child... idk if he will have siblings because I never planned on doing the "mor than one baby daddy" thing anyway (daling with this asshole is enough) am I wrong??
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 10:03 AM
Replies (11-20):
Affinity05
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 12:43 PM
1 mom liked this

 I definitely understand how you feel because my girls are in the same boat with younger brothers. Although my oldest is now seeing how her dad really is and the many girls he exchanges, she loves her brother. My girls are 10 and 12 and the boys are 6 and 3 and are very close. Myself and their mother talk often now that her and BD are divorced and you would be surprised of all the stuff the other woman may not know. Our outcome didn't stem from a cheating situation but her divorce to him did. But the children should never suffer because of it.


Quoting Stephd710:

My ex husband cheated on me and produced a child who is 11 months younger than my girls.  Nice huh??  Anyway, he is with the mother currently.  I know my girls are with their half brother when they go to their dad's for visitation.  He is all about that boy though and kind of pushes my girls aside.  He took the boy and his gf on vacation (on his weekend with the girls) and left the girls with his mom.  He will come pick up the girls and be like "Lets go see Bubby!!"  My girls are only 2 so they cant really tell me how they feel about it.  But I wish my ex would make some time for JUST the girls.  They need one on one time with him.  If something were to happen to my ex, i would not pursue a relationship with the other child.  I dont feel like its my responsibility.  Im sure they would see him at my ex's family functions but im not going to call up this ho that helped destroy my marriage and be like "hey, lets get the kids together!"  No.  Call me petty, but its not happening. 


 

Stephd710
by Silver Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 12:54 PM
1 mom liked this

Oh yeah, the first wife and I did not get along at all while I was married to him.  We barely spoke tho. Now we are friendly, we talk on the phone, text, FB, all of it.  We had a loooooong talk after I divorced him and he told me lies about her and vice versa, we got it all cleared up.   She said judging from his behavior now, she can see I was the one who was making sure he kept up with his relationship with her kids because he does nothing now.  

I will never ever like this new girl tho.  I dont care if he and she break up, i will not like her.  She and I had a meeting back when it first all happened.  She wanted to meet to tell me it was over (yeah right) and i wanted to find out about the whole thing, i had lots of questions.  She told me she was texting him while I was in the hospital having the girls and she was mad at him for being there with me ??????WTF??  She said she would purposely keep him out all night so that he wouldnt be at home helping me take care of the babies because she was jealous.  What kind of person is this???  She said she got mad at him because he only had good things to say about me and he said he shouldnt be lying to me, etc etc and she would encourage him to lie and give him stories to tell me.  This is all coming right from her mouth...  I could never ever be on good terms with this person.  EVER. 


Quoting Affinity05:

 I definitely understand how you feel because my girls are in the same boat with younger brothers. Although my oldest is now seeing how her dad really is and the many girls he exchanges, she loves her brother. My girls are 10 and 12 and the boys are 6 and 3 and are very close. Myself and their mother talk often now that her and BD are divorced and you would be surprised of all the stuff the other woman may not know. Our outcome didn't stem from a cheating situation but her divorce to him did. But the children should never suffer because of it.


Quoting Stephd710:

My ex husband cheated on me and produced a child who is 11 months younger than my girls.  Nice huh??  Anyway, he is with the mother currently.  I know my girls are with their half brother when they go to their dad's for visitation.  He is all about that boy though and kind of pushes my girls aside.  He took the boy and his gf on vacation (on his weekend with the girls) and left the girls with his mom.  He will come pick up the girls and be like "Lets go see Bubby!!"  My girls are only 2 so they cant really tell me how they feel about it.  But I wish my ex would make some time for JUST the girls.  They need one on one time with him.  If something were to happen to my ex, i would not pursue a relationship with the other child.  I dont feel like its my responsibility.  Im sure they would see him at my ex's family functions but im not going to call up this ho that helped destroy my marriage and be like "hey, lets get the kids together!"  No.  Call me petty, but its not happening. 





Affinity05
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 12:57 PM

 Yea that is definitely a bit much. All we ever want is to raise our children in happy and healthy homes and sometimes that may not include the fairy tale like we thought. If that is the image he is portraying to your children by being their for someone elses children and not his own says alot. The ex is crazy because she is allowing that. I personally could not be in a relationship with a man who has kids and does not take care of or spend time with them. You have to show your children a way to move forward and be happy in the lives you provide for them. It is hard to swallow the thought of not being able to give them a home with two parents, but in the same sentence you can make your children happy in soooo many ways.

Quoting ajohnson08099:

With the oldest ex is sortof the only dad she will know. The boys father was areested but not that long ago up unt then his father had sole custody. So it feeks like with that kid they are playing house. I guess it sucks bc ex was all about he didn't want to be with his ex and la d da only delt with her bc of kids and wanted to be friendly for that reason. Guess that wasn't true since he was sleeping with her, has claimed her kids, and now dosnt care to speak to me at all. Guess I was really blind. I want to raise my son in a happy and healthy home. Away from the drama ex constantly livez in.

Quoting Affinity05:

Its ok to feel the way you do, but in my experience it just depends on the situation. If he is the only father those other kids know than they are his. You have the right to say whatever you want to your child and raise him however. My BD was at one point married and had two sons from that marriage. Although he never helped me and I don't always speak to him, me and the ex wife speak frequently. Our children love each other and her and myself are alot alike. Sometimes women tend to hold grudges towards another woman for no reason, but the blame is in the significant other. Kids don't ask to be here and how we are teaches them as to what kind of people they can become. There is no harm in allowing your child to bond with siblings biological or not if it can be done without drama.


The book that will give you a better understanding of what I mean is called "Children Learn what they Live: Parenting to Inspire Values" by Dorothy Law Nolte...check it out you would love it.


 

ajohnson08099
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 1:09 PM
Yea lol definitely not my fairy tail. But I'll manage. I just think at this point my son is better off seperated. I don't know how or when ex plans in being there for hisson... but it will be on my terms because he just isn't rational. Its all a big messing. I hate it. But know for now this is much better tan the forced relationship we were having.

Quoting Affinity05:

 Yea that is definitely a bit much. All we ever want is to raise our children in happy and healthy homes and sometimes that may not include the fairy tale like we thought. If that is the image he is portraying to your children by being their for someone elses children and not his own says alot. The ex is crazy because she is allowing that. I personally could not be in a relationship with a man who has kids and does not take care of or spend time with them. You have to show your children a way to move forward and be happy in the lives you provide for them. It is hard to swallow the thought of not being able to give them a home with two parents, but in the same sentence you can make your children happy in soooo many ways.


Quoting ajohnson08099:

With the oldest ex is sortof the only dad she will know. The boys father was areested but not that long ago up unt then his father had sole custody. So it feeks like with that kid they are playing house. I guess it sucks bc ex was all about he didn't want to be with his ex and la d da only delt with her bc of kids and wanted to be friendly for that reason. Guess that wasn't true since he was sleeping with her, has claimed her kids, and now dosnt care to speak to me at all. Guess I was really blind. I want to raise my son in a happy and healthy home. Away from the drama ex constantly livez in.


Quoting Affinity05:


Its ok to feel the way you do, but in my experience it just depends on the situation. If he is the only father those other kids know than they are his. You have the right to say whatever you want to your child and raise him however. My BD was at one point married and had two sons from that marriage. Although he never helped me and I don't always speak to him, me and the ex wife speak frequently. Our children love each other and her and myself are alot alike. Sometimes women tend to hold grudges towards another woman for no reason, but the blame is in the significant other. Kids don't ask to be here and how we are teaches them as to what kind of people they can become. There is no harm in allowing your child to bond with siblings biological or not if it can be done without drama.



The book that will give you a better understanding of what I mean is called "Children Learn what they Live: Parenting to Inspire Values" by Dorothy Law Nolte...check it out you would love it.




 

Affinity05
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 1:10 PM

 

I definitely agree with you on that and I don't blame you for not wanting to get involved with the new girl. My BD divorced his ex last year just before the summer and when my daughter wanted to go spend a day at the activity park with him he showed up with some girl and her grandbaby in the car. Yes not only was she older but she already had a grandbaby. Needless to say they didn't stay together long and now he is in a new relationship which is way less than a year old and is engaged. I let my daughter go up to see her grandparents and uncles and she texted me when she didn't go to her grandparents house and said oh by the way daddy is engaged. Mind you he is in the picture because of me and she visits because I take her and pick her up. He doesn't help out financially cause he can't keep a job, but found some dollars to propose to a chick i haven't met and had the nerve to leave my daughter with her while he went to work. Needless to say the last time I got that mad was when I came home from my deployment. I cussed him out sooo bad and even though my daughter said the girl was nice the disrespect he had by allowing some stranger to me, keep the child I take care of by myself was careless.

Quoting Stephd710:

Oh yeah, the first wife and I did not get along at all while I was married to him.  We barely spoke tho. Now we are friendly, we talk on the phone, text, FB, all of it.  We had a loooooong talk after I divorced him and he told me lies about her and vice versa, we got it all cleared up.   She said judging from his behavior now, she can see I was the one who was making sure he kept up with his relationship with her kids because he does nothing now.  

I will never ever like this new girl tho.  I dont care if he and she break up, i will not like her.  She and I had a meeting back when it first all happened.  She wanted to meet to tell me it was over (yeah right) and i wanted to find out about the whole thing, i had lots of questions.  She told me she was texting him while I was in the hospital having the girls and she was mad at him for being there with me ??????WTF??  She said she would purposely keep him out all night so that he wouldnt be at home helping me take care of the babies because she was jealous.  What kind of person is this???  She said she got mad at him because he only had good things to say about me and he said he shouldnt be lying to me, etc etc and she would encourage him to lie and give him stories to tell me.  This is all coming right from her mouth...  I could never ever be on good terms with this person.  EVER. 

 

Quoting Affinity05:

 I definitely understand how you feel because my girls are in the same boat with younger brothers. Although my oldest is now seeing how her dad really is and the many girls he exchanges, she loves her brother. My girls are 10 and 12 and the boys are 6 and 3 and are very close. Myself and their mother talk often now that her and BD are divorced and you would be surprised of all the stuff the other woman may not know. Our outcome didn't stem from a cheating situation but her divorce to him did. But the children should never suffer because of it.

 

Quoting Stephd710:

My ex husband cheated on me and produced a child who is 11 months younger than my girls.  Nice huh??  Anyway, he is with the mother currently.  I know my girls are with their half brother when they go to their dad's for visitation.  He is all about that boy though and kind of pushes my girls aside.  He took the boy and his gf on vacation (on his weekend with the girls) and left the girls with his mom.  He will come pick up the girls and be like "Lets go see Bubby!!"  My girls are only 2 so they cant really tell me how they feel about it.  But I wish my ex would make some time for JUST the girls.  They need one on one time with him.  If something were to happen to my ex, i would not pursue a relationship with the other child.  I dont feel like its my responsibility.  Im sure they would see him at my ex's family functions but im not going to call up this ho that helped destroy my marriage and be like "hey, lets get the kids together!"  No.  Call me petty, but its not happening. 

 

 

 

 


 

Affinity05
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 1:14 PM
1 mom liked this

 I truely understand and you are right its always better than a not so good relationship. And you just keep doing your part because as your son gets older he will understand in his own way and definitely appreciate you more. Now that my girls are pre-teens I see how different they are from most kids. I am strict but fair and lack judgement. They tell me everything and take my advice even with choosing friends and you know when we were their age we didn't want anyone else to tell us about our friends. So you will see all the right you are doing when they are able to tell you themselves. I wish you and your children the best in everything.


Quoting ajohnson08099:

Yea lol definitely not my fairy tail. But I'll manage. I just think at this point my son is better off seperated. I don't know how or when ex plans in being there for hisson... but it will be on my terms because he just isn't rational. Its all a big messing. I hate it. But know for now this is much better tan the forced relationship we were having.

Quoting Affinity05:

 Yea that is definitely a bit much. All we ever want is to raise our children in happy and healthy homes and sometimes that may not include the fairy tale like we thought. If that is the image he is portraying to your children by being their for someone elses children and not his own says alot. The ex is crazy because she is allowing that. I personally could not be in a relationship with a man who has kids and does not take care of or spend time with them. You have to show your children a way to move forward and be happy in the lives you provide for them. It is hard to swallow the thought of not being able to give them a home with two parents, but in the same sentence you can make your children happy in soooo many ways.


Quoting ajohnson08099:

With the oldest ex is sortof the only dad she will know. The boys father was areested but not that long ago up unt then his father had sole custody. So it feeks like with that kid they are playing house. I guess it sucks bc ex was all about he didn't want to be with his ex and la d da only delt with her bc of kids and wanted to be friendly for that reason. Guess that wasn't true since he was sleeping with her, has claimed her kids, and now dosnt care to speak to me at all. Guess I was really blind. I want to raise my son in a happy and healthy home. Away from the drama ex constantly livez in.


Quoting Affinity05:


Its ok to feel the way you do, but in my experience it just depends on the situation. If he is the only father those other kids know than they are his. You have the right to say whatever you want to your child and raise him however. My BD was at one point married and had two sons from that marriage. Although he never helped me and I don't always speak to him, me and the ex wife speak frequently. Our children love each other and her and myself are alot alike. Sometimes women tend to hold grudges towards another woman for no reason, but the blame is in the significant other. Kids don't ask to be here and how we are teaches them as to what kind of people they can become. There is no harm in allowing your child to bond with siblings biological or not if it can be done without drama.



The book that will give you a better understanding of what I mean is called "Children Learn what they Live: Parenting to Inspire Values" by Dorothy Law Nolte...check it out you would love it.


 


 


 

diaperstodating
by Queen24Princes on Apr. 24, 2013 at 1:21 PM
2 moms liked this
I was 8 months pregnant when I found out my soon to be ex-husband impregnated an 18 year old. That child was born one month before my son. I filed for divorce and child support after having my son (the day I got out of the hospital). I now have two "step sons". I will tell my boys about their brothers when they are 18, but they will not have a relationship with them as long as they are living with me.
steviechick
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 2:11 PM

I'm also sure the tramp got pregnant on purpose just so my ex would leave me AND she could officially build a life around my ex.  They started their relationship in April of 2008 and she got pregnant in Feb of 2010.  Plenty of enough time TO tell me of an affair.  But, either didn't.  I would think one of them would confess at least the tramp but I'm sure she didn't because 1. my ex was active duty and 2. they both work together for the state.  I can't imagine what the tramp's life would be like (before she got pregnant with my ex's child) had she been fired.  She was a single mom raising a handicap child.  Ethics codes would be violated big time had the two of them been found out.  I'm sure my lying cheating ex told everyone we were 'separated' in order to accept the first child he fathered with the tramp.  Thing is - we didn't officially separate until after I was told of the affair.  Also, she didn't update her FB page with pictures of their 'love' child until the day after I was told of their affair.  So, she kept the affair under wraps just to save both of their hides.

My ex was married before me and fathered a child - a girl.  She is almost 32 - six years younger then the tramp.  So, basically my ex was chasing after a tramp almost the same age as his own daughter.  I know the tramp doesn't know about this information.  My ex never even told our own daughter of the child he has.  I told her.  My ex and I agreed to never bring this up because it would prove that my ex is a louse - something he was very ashamed of.  My daughter now has two half-sisters and one half-brother all due to her father's disgusting way he lives his life.  Sometimes I wonder if I am to blame for not telling my daughter of her half-sibling and then I sometimes I wonder if it was the best thing to keep it a secret.  My ex's first wife left him.  Now I know it was due to money problems.  She grew tired of living a miserable life with a loser.  I held on a lot longer then she did.

I know one day the tramp will end up calling me and wanting to ask for my forgiveness after my ex leaves her.  She has to feel some guilt for what she's done to me.  Afterall, she broke up my marriage.  But the again, she just might remain silent and wallow in her own self-pity.  My ex has already been caught staring at another woman in her early 20's.  I've also found items after he left that precludes he was heavily into porn.  I know he won't be faithful and I know he will put wife number three through hell like he did me.  He slept with her because he's scum.  He got her pregnant because he's a moron.  He's too old to have kids and too broke all the time to financially care for them.  He can't change his character nor his way of lying and constantly covering-up his many problems.   

 


Quoting Stephd710:

Yeah, im pretty sure the chick got pregnant on purpose because they had split up soon after I found out about them and he and I were becoming civil again (idk if that was going to lead to a reconciliation or not...) then all of a sudden she claims she's pregnant.  And its his, he's been tested since he was born.  That was it.  I couldnt deal with the affair AND a child on top of it.  Nope.  So ex went back to her.  I dread the day my girls ask why Mommy and Daddy arent married anymore.  Im not going to sugarcoat it.  When they are old enough, they will look at their brothers age vs theirs and figure it out on their own anyway.  Im not going to lie for him.  My ex also has 4 older kids from his first marriage, they are all in their teens 18-13.  He has all but abandoned them.  They were VERY angry at him for what he did to me.  They didnt speak for almost a year.  They are talking now but they live 12 hours away.  He doesnt make much of an effort. He visited them once in about 3 years.  His daughter and I are close, she's 16 and she says he never calls for bdays or sends cards, never gets them christmas gifts.  His first wife told me I'm the only one who sends her kids anything.  I still talk to them all and send cards and gifts and stuff.  

 

Quoting steviechick:

Hugs, mama!

My daugher has a half-brother and half-sister all thanks to her disgusting father.  She even said that her half-brother is now more imporant than she is to her father.  The way my ex has treated our daughter is almost unforgivable.  How would you react to your own father introducing a little 10 month old baby as your 'brother' in the drive-way of your own home?   That's how my ex introduced his son to our daughter AND explained the affair.  I still worry about my daughter and how she will relate to men as she grows up.  Her father literally has mentally abused her in so many ways it breaks my heart.  And, to think I once loved this man and trusted him AND chose him to be the father of my child.......

I know it has to be hard knowing that you were cheated on and that your ex has created a son in the process.  Nothing hurts more than being betrayed.  I hope your ex does step up and is a father that shows equal love between his kids.  My daughter feels left out on having a father.  I wish I could change that. 

 

Quoting Stephd710:

My ex husband cheated on me and produced a child who is 11 months younger than my girls.  Nice huh??  Anyway, he is with the mother currently.  I know my girls are with their half brother when they go to their dad's for visitation.  He is all about that boy though and kind of pushes my girls aside.  He took the boy and his gf on vacation (on his weekend with the girls) and left the girls with his mom.  He will come pick up the girls and be like "Lets go see Bubby!!"  My girls are only 2 so they cant really tell me how they feel about it.  But I wish my ex would make some time for JUST the girls.  They need one on one time with him.  If something were to happen to my ex, i would not pursue a relationship with the other child.  I dont feel like its my responsibility.  Im sure they would see him at my ex's family functions but im not going to call up this ho that helped destroy my marriage and be like "hey, lets get the kids together!"  No.  Call me petty, but its not happening. 

 

 

 

 


 

Stephd710
by Silver Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 2:26 PM

OMg, thats nuts!  I find it funny how these types of people hide everything.  That must suck to have to hide your relationship and even your own child from the world.  

This new chick...she was married too when she started up with my ex.  She was 23, my ex was 34, she started working at the same place and in LESS than a month, they were screwing eachother.  She has one child with her now ex husband.  She was raised in a very strict religious family, they practice some religion ive never heard of and kind of live in a small community with other families that practice the same thing.  All the kids hang out together, get homeschooled and eventually marry other kids from other families in this community.  Thats what she did, at like 17.  So she meets my ex and has this affair right??....she tells her husband and both their families.  Her family completely shuns her.  Like wont answer calls, the door, nothing.  So she tells them she broke up with him.   They let her back in.  Then she comes up pregnant....she gets shunned again.  She says it was one time and they are still broken up.  They tried to get her to go back to her husband, he didnt want her back.  So they decide to get divorced which is a HUGE no-no in that community.  Nobody NOBODY gets divorced.  But they help her with moving into her own place and blah blah blah, because she convinced them she's not with my ex.  This all happened over 2 years ago, everyone is divocred, the kid is born....yet they are STILL hiding their relationship.  STILL.  He stays every night at her apartment but keeps none of his things there.  They are all in his car or at his moms house.  So he has to drive out there to change clothes and shit.  LOL!  When he's at her place, he parks blocks away and walks.  Ive seen him walking and ive seen his car parked in random places.  Its quite hilarious.  When he has my girls, he stays at his moms house because he has to give me the address of where he stays with them and he cant give me the girls apartment address because that would mean they are together and GASP...i might tell someone!!  LOL!  So technically his address is at his moms, but he lives with the gf.  So my theory is her parents are helping her financially so she cant let her relationship with my ex get out or I'm sure that will stop.  She doesnt have a job.  She goes to "school" a couple days a week and lives off the child support her ex gives her (which is an insane amount for one kid).  My ex helps her out with money too, even tho he's broker than broke.  Her electric and internet are in his name.  I know because I got their bills on accident because my home's electric is still in his name too.  My friend works for the internet company and she told me when he got it set up for her.  My ex brings home less than $500 a month.  He told me so.  He pays his first ex CS and pays me CS.  He cant afford to break up with this chick even if he wanted because then she would go for support too and then he would REALLY have to live with his mommy.  


Quoting steviechick:

I'm also sure the tramp got pregnant on purpose just so my ex would leave me AND she could officially build a life around my ex.  They started their relationship in April of 2008 and she got pregnant in Feb of 2010.  Plenty of enough time TO tell me of an affair.  But, either didn't.  I would think one of them would confess at least the tramp but I'm sure she didn't because 1. my ex was active duty and 2. they both work together for the state.  I can't imagine what the tramp's life would be like (before she got pregnant with my ex's child) had she been fired.  She was a single mom raising a handicap child.  Ethics codes would be violated big time had the two of them been found out.  I'm sure my lying cheating ex told everyone we were 'separated' in order to accept the first child he fathered with the tramp.  Thing is - we didn't officially separate until after I was told of the affair.  Also, she didn't update her FB page with pictures of their 'love' child until the day after I was told of their affair.  So, she kept the affair under wraps just to save both of their hides.

My ex was married before me and fathered a child - a girl.  She is almost 32 - six years younger then the tramp.  So, basically my ex was chasing after a tramp almost the same age as his own daughter.  I know the tramp doesn't know about this information.  My ex never even told our own daughter of the child he has.  I told her.  My ex and I agreed to never bring this up because it would prove that my ex is a louse - something he was very ashamed of.  My daughter now has two half-sisters and one half-brother all due to her father's disgusting way he lives his life.  Sometimes I wonder if I am to blame for not telling my daughter of her half-sibling and then I sometimes I wonder if it was the best thing to keep it a secret.  My ex's first wife left him.  Now I know it was due to money problems.  She grew tired of living a miserable life with a loser.  I held on a lot longer then she did.

I know one day the tramp will end up calling me and wanting to ask for my forgiveness after my ex leaves her.  She has to feel some guilt for what she's done to me.  Afterall, she broke up my marriage.  But the again, she just might remain silent and wallow in her own self-pity.  My ex has already been caught staring at another woman in her early 20's.  I've also found items after he left that precludes he was heavily into porn.  I know he won't be faithful and I know he will put wife number three through hell like he did me.  He slept with her because he's scum.  He got her pregnant because he's a moron.  He's too old to have kids and too broke all the time to financially care for them.  He can't change his character nor his way of lying and constantly covering-up his many problems.   



Quoting Stephd710:

Yeah, im pretty sure the chick got pregnant on purpose because they had split up soon after I found out about them and he and I were becoming civil again (idk if that was going to lead to a reconciliation or not...) then all of a sudden she claims she's pregnant.  And its his, he's been tested since he was born.  That was it.  I couldnt deal with the affair AND a child on top of it.  Nope.  So ex went back to her.  I dread the day my girls ask why Mommy and Daddy arent married anymore.  Im not going to sugarcoat it.  When they are old enough, they will look at their brothers age vs theirs and figure it out on their own anyway.  Im not going to lie for him.  My ex also has 4 older kids from his first marriage, they are all in their teens 18-13.  He has all but abandoned them.  They were VERY angry at him for what he did to me.  They didnt speak for almost a year.  They are talking now but they live 12 hours away.  He doesnt make much of an effort. He visited them once in about 3 years.  His daughter and I are close, she's 16 and she says he never calls for bdays or sends cards, never gets them christmas gifts.  His first wife told me I'm the only one who sends her kids anything.  I still talk to them all and send cards and gifts and stuff.  


Quoting steviechick:

Hugs, mama!

My daugher has a half-brother and half-sister all thanks to her disgusting father.  She even said that her half-brother is now more imporant than she is to her father.  The way my ex has treated our daughter is almost unforgivable.  How would you react to your own father introducing a little 10 month old baby as your 'brother' in the drive-way of your own home?   That's how my ex introduced his son to our daughter AND explained the affair.  I still worry about my daughter and how she will relate to men as she grows up.  Her father literally has mentally abused her in so many ways it breaks my heart.  And, to think I once loved this man and trusted him AND chose him to be the father of my child.......

I know it has to be hard knowing that you were cheated on and that your ex has created a son in the process.  Nothing hurts more than being betrayed.  I hope your ex does step up and is a father that shows equal love between his kids.  My daughter feels left out on having a father.  I wish I could change that. 


Quoting Stephd710:

My ex husband cheated on me and produced a child who is 11 months younger than my girls.  Nice huh??  Anyway, he is with the mother currently.  I know my girls are with their half brother when they go to their dad's for visitation.  He is all about that boy though and kind of pushes my girls aside.  He took the boy and his gf on vacation (on his weekend with the girls) and left the girls with his mom.  He will come pick up the girls and be like "Lets go see Bubby!!"  My girls are only 2 so they cant really tell me how they feel about it.  But I wish my ex would make some time for JUST the girls.  They need one on one time with him.  If something were to happen to my ex, i would not pursue a relationship with the other child.  I dont feel like its my responsibility.  Im sure they would see him at my ex's family functions but im not going to call up this ho that helped destroy my marriage and be like "hey, lets get the kids together!"  No.  Call me petty, but its not happening. 









steviechick
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 2:41 PM

When we have problems with our spouses in this way try and help the situation, give it all you can so you can tell your children I did all I could. Sometimes we are the problem and sometimes not. If you've done all you can to help the situation and then want out, then get out before you start something with some one else. However, on the other hand if you cheat because you can't deal with your emotional problems then you deserve what you get when you cheat.  It always comes back to you in a much worse way. How you got them is how you will loose them as well. When we think the grass is greener on the other side, we are wrong.....that relationship can have more weeds in it then you have ever seen before. And sometimes they are deadly weeds. And for the women that will cheat with a married man, there is a place for you as well if you don't get your life right with God.  It's all about loving yourself enough to not sell yourself short. Have any of us thought about that when we have sex with someone and are not married to them, we have lost a piece of our soul to that person every time?  

Lies and cheating go hand-in-hand.  Your ex sounds just like mine - can't take on responsibility nor will they ever accept they HAVE to be men first and utmost.  Your ex's new gf and he are like two peas in a pod.  Both wanted something out of their pathetic lives and are now having to deal with what life has dealt them.  I can't imagine how 'happy' either couple are.  You create so many children in your life and then eventually realize that you have to be responsible for every action you make. 

I won't stop battling my ex for the money he owes me.  He's never, ever been held responisible for anything he's done in his life.  Never when it comes to money.  Now it's hitting him square in the forehead.  I'm not just a creditor - I'm an ex-wife who wants restitution and a daughter that deserves her father to BE a father for once in his miserable life.


Quoting Stephd710:

OMg, thats nuts!  I find it funny how these types of people hide everything.  That must suck to have to hide your relationship and even your own child from the world.  

This new chick...she was married too when she started up with my ex.  She was 23, my ex was 34, she started working at the same place and in LESS than a month, they were screwing eachother.  She has one child with her now ex husband.  She was raised in a very strict religious family, they practice some religion ive never heard of and kind of live in a small community with other families that practice the same thing.  All the kids hang out together, get homeschooled and eventually marry other kids from other families in this community.  Thats what she did, at like 17.  So she meets my ex and has this affair right??....she tells her husband and both their families.  Her family completely shuns her.  Like wont answer calls, the door, nothing.  So she tells them she broke up with him.   They let her back in.  Then she comes up pregnant....she gets shunned again.  She says it was one time and they are still broken up.  They tried to get her to go back to her husband, he didnt want her back.  So they decide to get divorced which is a HUGE no-no in that community.  Nobody NOBODY gets divorced.  But they help her with moving into her own place and blah blah blah, because she convinced them she's not with my ex.  This all happened over 2 years ago, everyone is divocred, the kid is born....yet they are STILL hiding their relationship.  STILL.  He stays every night at her apartment but keeps none of his things there.  They are all in his car or at his moms house.  So he has to drive out there to change clothes and shit.  LOL!  When he's at her place, he parks blocks away and walks.  Ive seen him walking and ive seen his car parked in random places.  Its quite hilarious.  When he has my girls, he stays at his moms house because he has to give me the address of where he stays with them and he cant give me the girls apartment address because that would mean they are together and GASP...i might tell someone!!  LOL!  So technically his address is at his moms, but he lives with the gf.  So my theory is her parents are helping her financially so she cant let her relationship with my ex get out or I'm sure that will stop.  She doesnt have a job.  She goes to "school" a couple days a week and lives off the child support her ex gives her (which is an insane amount for one kid).  My ex helps her out with money too, even tho he's broker than broke.  Her electric and internet are in his name.  I know because I got their bills on accident because my home's electric is still in his name too.  My friend works for the internet company and she told me when he got it set up for her.  My ex brings home less than $500 a month.  He told me so.  He pays his first ex CS and pays me CS.  He cant afford to break up with this chick even if he wanted because then she would go for support too and then he would REALLY have to live with his mommy.  

 

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