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This is kind of a premature question bc I'm only 26 weeks with my first... but how do/would you handle if your child had other half siblings?

Ex has a son on tge way with his ex (who he's currently with) and claims her other two kids. To me... I want notging to do with the whol lot of them. To me my son is it.. because I really dont expect bd to be around. I can see having to tell my son he does have at leazt one bio sibling... but I think id rather stick my feet in lava before saying those other two kids are anything to me. Just because HE says they are "his" doesn't mean I have to pretend to does it?

To me my son is an only child... idk if he will have siblings because I never planned on doing the "mor than one baby daddy" thing anyway (daling with this asshole is enough) am I wrong??
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 10:03 AM
Replies (31-40):
krisnkids
by Gold Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 7:56 PM
1 mom liked this

I have 4 kids with my ex, he has two with his new wife. My kids love their baby sister and brother, do I really care? Not really, I have moved on and am happy with my life. It hurt a bit in the begining but then I realized to myself that the kids didn't do anything wrong, not allowing them to freely express themselves about their siblings would not be right. I even interact with them when we trade kids. I go one step further than most by when my ex has our 4 kids, I let him use my SUV because he doesn't have a vehicle that is big enough to seat 8 people. This year they are going for the summer, so is my truck. Is it for everyone? No, but I know my kids are safe and well taken care of, that is what matters.

Affinity05
by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 5:29 AM
She will definitely appreciate that. Four baby mamas is a lot but I think my DD is headed in the same direction. But definitely good luck to you and your little cone.


Quoting flawskii:

I'm not giving up hope just not all that confidante. By all means I'd love for her to meet her sibilings. Her father once told me a couple of the other mothers names (6 kids 4 baby moms *eye roll* lol) so I could find them on Facebook but I didn't find them. I do know all the childrens first names so when she's older (she's only 8 months) I'll be able to at least give her that information.

Quoting Affinity05:

Never give up hope because even if she doesn't meet them now she will. I hope it's not as long as it took me to find mine. I met two of my brothers at 17 and I am now 32 and just found my older sister 8 months ago. She didn't even know she had siblings. I have not met her face to face but I will this summer. I also have two younger sisters and a younger brother whom it is taking longer to find because my dad doesn't even know their names. So if your daughter doesn't have the opportunity to meet her siblings right away just find a way to keep tabs on the mothers names and children's name so she can find them when she is ready.





Quoting flawskii:

My daughter is my only child but her dad has 5 other children. Technically speaking she's not the only child just my only child. I would love for one day my daughter could meet her brothers and sister. I'm not too confidante that will happen though.





Pink.Sunshine.
by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 7:45 AM

I'm not going to lie, it would annoy me. Especially if he remarried and they got a daughter. I'd be pissed.

LilMamaK
by Member on Apr. 25, 2013 at 10:18 AM

 My DD has 3 half siblings. Her Bio father got me and another girl preggo and then right DD was born that same girl preggo again. She has a 10 year old SB, 5 year old SS, and a 4 Year old SS. (DD will be 5 in July). She has never met any of them. Her BIO father is still with the mother of his other kids and doesn't have anything to do with her. So, I've never counted on them being her siblings and have never told her about them. As for DS, he has 1 SB who is almost 2 years old. He barely sees him, once a week, and doesn't like him at all because SB is treated like a king compaired to my DS. So, when kids are with me, their only siblings are each other. They never acknowlege the half siblings they have. Works for us.

*~*Mommy to Allyana(7.5.08), StepMom to Aidan(6.5.07), & My Angel Baby Jovanny(3.6.10)*~*

steviechick
by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 2:27 PM

My ex has no mental capacity for what he's done to his own daughter.  He has no idea just how hurt she is and how she now looks at her father.  To even think about having sex with another woman until she gets pregnant, hiding the fact that you are a sexual scumbag from everyone and even hiding the fact that you've created a child then another out of wedlock all the while putting on a falsehood to your family is beyond my comprehension.  Not once did my ex even think about me nor his own child when he was doing this.  Not once.  He only thought about himself and how he was going to cover-up his actions or at least try to explain them away at a later date.  And, he did this for three years.  He reminds me of all those other scumbags out there like Arnold Schwarzenegger and John Edwards hiding their 'love' child from their wives and families.  My ex actually thought he could still have a relationship with his own daughter even after what he did.  He even brought his own son to meet our daughter at her place of work.  He even acted as though his son was a trophy.  Everyone thought the little baby was my daughters.  She is old enough to be his own mother.  My daughter was humiliated afterwards.  The little baby is old enough to be my ex's grandchild.  The entire situation should be on the Jerry Spring Show.

LifeCafe42
by Nora on Apr. 26, 2013 at 12:38 AM

hugs no clue ds is it bump for more eyes

 
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Krystle21
by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 12:48 AM
I don't think you're wrong to feel how you're feeling now, you may feel differently later. From my own experience my kids have 2 other half siblings by their bio dad. They met each other once. I don't think they'll ever have a relationship unless they pursue it when they get older. I'm not going out of my way to make sure they know each other. I think that's their dads job. We don't have any contact with him
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MamaHens3
by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 1:21 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm  a divorcee, have three kids with my XDH. I have my fourth child with a post split up bf, and they adore their half sister. To them it's their sister, my XDH calls her their sister. He actually had a child with his second wife, so our kids have two half sisters. One from me, and one from him. An they adore them both, for my case it was post split they got this half sibs. 

Handle it how you feel you should, and much luck. 

Armygirl2299703
by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 4:01 AM
1 mom liked this

I think that your child should know he has a half sibling. I completely agree that the other two kids mean nothing to your child because there is no biological tie between them and your son. He can claim all the kids in the world and it doesn't make them your sons siblings. I think it would be wrong to keep such information from your son.Now, let me explain why because I'm not at all trying to bash or insult you. I was convieved out of wedlock, no big deal. My mom met a "charming soldier" who had just lost his wife a few months previously in a car accident and they had a 3yr old daughter (obviously my older half sister). He was overjoyed when my mom was pregnant, until they found out they were expecting a girl. He kicked my mom out on the streets pregnant and with nowhere to go. He was mad because in his eyes I couldn't be his because he WANTED a boy. Couple weeks later he has a new woman in my moms place taking care of my sister. They were obviously envolved on the side. From that marriage enters 2 boys. All thier lives they were NEVER told about me. I however knew about them all from the start. When my mom left she stole some pictures of my sister that she had taken because she knew it would be a cold day in hell probably before he would see me. Thirty-one years later I still haven't met him. I've met my brothers, against our dads will since the older one was of age and the youngest was living with our cousin at the time and approved the meeting. I've not met my older sister face/face because she lives in Nevada and I'm in Alaska where we were all born/raised. We do talk almost daily though via facebook/texting. We all felt cheated out of a relationship we should've been able to have despite the situation. My youngest brother went over the edge when he found out about me, he had always wanted another sister and fell into a bad drug addiction that nearly killed him. He's clean now thankfully and we're close. Siblings should know about each other at some point so that even if the parents don't have a good relationship and parent together then at least the children can make the choice to have contact or not. None of us hold anything against each other, we all put the blame on our dad where it belongs. If your son later found out he had a brother/sister out there he could very well be extremely pissed off and take things out on you the way my youngest brother did to our dad and you never know how/where things might go at that point. I'm not saying he'll turn to drugs, we all deal with such things differently but it could possibly put your guys' relationship in jeapardy. Of course it's all your decision in the end.

I'm glad that I will never have to deal with something like this as you are. We were lucky to even get my daughter, much less would he ever have any more kids. The only half siblings that she will ever see will be from me. I wish you the best mama.

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ajohnson08099
by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 10:16 AM
:/ I understand your point of view. And I think you are right. I'm trying to decide I guess to allow these other children to be in my sons life from the start or something he is told about when hez older.

I never in a lillion years thought tgis would be how things worked out but such is life.

Just to me my son is the oldest child. The big brother (someday) not the baby out of four.


Quoting Armygirl2299703:

I think that your child should know he has a half sibling. I completely agree that the other two kids mean nothing to your child because there is no biological tie between them and your son. He can claim all the kids in the world and it doesn't make them your sons siblings. I think it would be wrong to keep such information from your son.Now, let me explain why because I'm not at all trying to bash or insult you. I was convieved out of wedlock, no big deal. My mom met a "charming soldier" who had just lost his wife a few months previously in a car accident and they had a 3yr old daughter (obviously my older half sister). He was overjoyed when my mom was pregnant, until they found out they were expecting a girl. He kicked my mom out on the streets pregnant and with nowhere to go. He was mad because in his eyes I couldn't be his because he WANTED a boy. Couple weeks later he has a new woman in my moms place taking care of my sister. They were obviously envolved on the side. From that marriage enters 2 boys. All thier lives they were NEVER told about me. I however knew about them all from the start. When my mom left she stole some pictures of my sister that she had taken because she knew it would be a cold day in hell probably before he would see me. Thirty-one years later I still haven't met him. I've met my brothers, against our dads will since the older one was of age and the youngest was living with our cousin at the time and approved the meeting. I've not met my older sister face/face because she lives in Nevada and I'm in Alaska where we were all born/raised. We do talk almost daily though via facebook/texting. We all felt cheated out of a relationship we should've been able to have despite the situation. My youngest brother went over the edge when he found out about me, he had always wanted another sister and fell into a bad drug addiction that nearly killed him. He's clean now thankfully and we're close. Siblings should know about each other at some point so that even if the parents don't have a good relationship and parent together then at least the children can make the choice to have contact or not. None of us hold anything against each other, we all put the blame on our dad where it belongs. If your son later found out he had a brother/sister out there he could very well be extremely pissed off and take things out on you the way my youngest brother did to our dad and you never know how/where things might go at that point. I'm not saying he'll turn to drugs, we all deal with such things differently but it could possibly put your guys' relationship in jeapardy. Of course it's all your decision in the end.


I'm glad that I will never have to deal with something like this as you are. We were lucky to even get my daughter, much less would he ever have any more kids. The only half siblings that she will ever see will be from me. I wish you the best mama.

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