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what to expect?

Posted by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 11:16 PM
  • 7 Replies
Sorry this is a bit long and would like to let you know my situation before jumping to the question.

So my stbxkicked our 4 kids and i out June 3rd of 2012. After we were out his Dad,step mom,brother and sister had moved in and my kids rooms got packed and all their stuff moved out to the garage. They are limited to sleeping on the floor or couch in the living room during overnight visits. Our original arrangement that we had was the kids would be with me sunday-friday since i live 1block away from the kids school and when they have extra days off they were to stay with him. that lasted till Jan. when he had accepted a promotion and his schedule changed. now he wants the kids after school tuesday to whenever he decided to drop them off which is about 8/9 and wednesday the same thing and saturday from when he decided to wake up and pick them up which is usually around 5/6. As far as any financial help he has given me $500 total since June. These last 2 months he has been very inconsistent with his visitation with the kids today i finally had asked him if i could just keep the kids with me monday-friday since they are in school and he has them on weekends but he refuses. so now to my questions.

With this said,i have an appt with a lawyer next week who said he can help me file for divorce and bankruptcy.

1)how long does it take to finalize a divorce?

2)do you have to file for child support seperatly?

3) would a judge give him any sort of custody for not having rooms or beds for our kids?

Thanks ladies!
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by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 11:16 PM
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Replies (1-7):
brieri
by Platinum Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 11:40 PM
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 1) a divorce can take up to 6 months. Can take longer though, depending on the circumstances of your case.

2).  Child support should be  brought up as well as viistation at the same time the divorce is going on.  (However your divorce can be finalized, but a visitation/chidl support can go on for significant length of time beyond the divorce decree.

3).  Talk to your attorney about your situation.

LauraMH
by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 10:23 AM
1 mom liked this

Divorce can take a long time. Mine took 9 months and that was relatively quick. You should bring up child support, medical insurance, visitation, custody and anything else that involves the kids. Division of property should also be adressed. Just because he kicked you out does not mean he is entilted to keep everything.

Lastly, yes, he could still get joint custody with the kids living in the living room. My kids sleep on the floor or in chairs when they are at their dads and have no rooms and he still gets then 50% of the time.

conniejo75
by Bronze Member on Apr. 25, 2013 at 10:30 AM
1 mom liked this
My divorce took over a yr but CA has a minimum 6 month waiting period and mediation for custody. We could not agree on visitation so we got referred back a second time. As for child support, that's done at same time as the visitation. It may take a while to set up but they will go back to the date you file. You need to do it ASAP. They can't fix the months youve already lost out on, but it won't look good for him either


Quoting LauraMH:

Divorce can take a long time. Mine took 9 months and that was relatively quick. You should bring up child support, medical insurance, visitation, custody and anything else that involves the kids. Division of property should also be adressed. Just because he kicked you out does not mean he is entilted to keep everything.


Lastly, yes, he could still get joint custody with the kids living in the living room. My kids sleep on the floor or in chairs when they are at their dads and have no rooms and he still gets then 50% of the time.


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steviechick
by Gold Member on Apr. 25, 2013 at 3:27 PM

Great advice from everyone.   Here's a hug for you.

hugging

Monsita
by Bronze Member on Apr. 25, 2013 at 4:38 PM
1 mom liked this

So sorry you are going through all of these.....

Please get educated in the divorce terms and ON WHAT IS BEST IN THE LONG TERM FOR YOUR CHILDREN......

 

LifeCafe42
by Nora on Apr. 26, 2013 at 12:33 AM

welcome!  sorry I don't know but good luck!

virginiamama71
by Carrie on Apr. 26, 2013 at 12:39 AM
1 mom liked this
If everything is agreed upon, including child support, it can go thru quickly depending on the laws in your state. I would talk with the lawyer and try to work it out that the children are with you thru the week cause of school, than with him on the weekends and hopefully he will understand this is best so as to not mess up their weekly routine with school.
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