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"Honey, we dont have one of those in our family."

Posted by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 11:00 AM
  • 13 Replies

My daughter is barely 2 and every man we come in contact with she calls "Daddy". I've tried the explaining that "no, this isn't daddy this is Chris, Brian, Tom ect," but she is determined to call all men daddy. I know it is common for small children to over generalize and call all adults mommy and daddy- we went through this- but this seems different and she even more determined that every guy is daddy, from the pharmacist to the guy standing in line behind us at the grocery. I know this is probably way worse for me than it is her at this age and people are generally kind, because kids say all kinds of crazy things but it is getting really embarrassing. She has never had a dad and it's a long story but there isn't going to be one unless I happen to meet a great guy along the way. She is too young to explain what happened and I feel bad saying, "Honey, we don't have one of those in our family." Has anyone else been here? I know she'll out grow it and get old enough to where I can explain why our family only has us, but until then what?

 

by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 11:00 AM
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Replies (1-10):
rocky_mtn_mama
by Member on Apr. 26, 2013 at 12:46 PM
1 mom liked this

hugs  I know it's hard, but you're right, she'll grow out of it.  Until then, don't make a big deal of it.

Monsita
by Bronze Member on Apr. 26, 2013 at 1:18 PM
2 moms liked this

I totally understand what you are going through......

I have a friend who has a kids who CALLS EVERYONE "MOM"

mom2jasper
by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 2:15 PM
1 mom liked this
Don't make a big deal of it. She might take that to mean that not having a daddy is a bad thing. By the time my son was old enough to talk and understand what daddy meant, my fiance was in our lives and filling that role, so I didn't go through that the way you are. My close cousin has a son the same age as mine. My son sometimes calls her mommy and he used to call her husband daddy. Now that he is starting to understand relationships, he knows that Ty is his cousin's daddy, not his. A few days ago my son said that my fiance was his Ty.
Find other single moms in your area so your daughter can see that it is perfectly normal to have only a mommy
virginiamama71
by Carrie on Apr. 26, 2013 at 11:31 PM
1 mom liked this

I agree she will outgrow it but I would not tell her we do not have one in the family. When she is old enough and asks, than you can talk with her about her father and his absence. 

NutsMomma
by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 11:43 PM
1 mom liked this
My son went through almost the same thing at about the same age. He wouldn't call men dad, he would ask me if they were his dad.
He was too young when his father was in his life to remember it.
His father died almost three years ago so it's less of an issue. I no longer Have to try to answer as to why he's not in his life.
What helped with him is I involve as many males in my family into his life as possible. My dad, brother-in-law and an older nephew. He has wonderful dad figures that are very fatherly to him, he isn't missing anything. These men love him like a son, and are more fatherly to him that his bio-father ever was.
LifeCafe42
by Nora on Apr. 27, 2013 at 12:07 AM
Don't make a big deal keep doing what you are doing and saying that's not daddy that's Chris or whoever it is she will catch on
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ghostcat90
by Member on Apr. 27, 2013 at 1:15 AM
1 mom liked this

I don't have this issue...yet.  I think we'll have to start hanging out with my two besties more.  I can deal with her calling them daddy...hell, they'll love it and go bonkers (they were my ONLY friends to come to the hospital after I gave birth).

didichelle
by on Apr. 27, 2013 at 2:13 AM
1 mom liked this

Uggg...I am crossing my fingers that my 2 year old gets a bit older before these issues arrise, but I am lucky that she has lots of PaPa's to help fill that role.  I think I will, when the time comes, explain that she can help me find the perfect daddy/husband and she will feel special since she will have a say, and hopefully she will not feel like she is missing something.

Mac4411
by Member on Apr. 29, 2013 at 8:06 AM

What would you say to her then?

Quoting virginiamama71:

I agree she will outgrow it but I would not tell her we do not have one in the family. When she is old enough and asks, than you can talk with her about her father and his absence. 


Mac4411
by Member on Apr. 29, 2013 at 8:09 AM
1 mom liked this

My daughter has plenty of uncles and friends and grandpa's so its not the male infulence she is lacking, just someone to give the title to. Like I said, I'm pretty sure this is bothering me way more than it is her.

Quoting NutsMomma:

My son went through almost the same thing at about the same age. He wouldn't call men dad, he would ask me if they were his dad.
He was too young when his father was in his life to remember it.
His father died almost three years ago so it's less of an issue. I no longer Have to try to answer as to why he's not in his life.
What helped with him is I involve as many males in my family into his life as possible. My dad, brother-in-law and an older nephew. He has wonderful dad figures that are very fatherly to him, he isn't missing anything. These men love him like a son, and are more fatherly to him that his bio-father ever was.


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