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three year old talking to father about him being "mean" to mommy

Posted by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 8:02 PM
  • 5 Replies

Wow... Bella just gave it to her dad over the skype. First she asked him why he never calls or comes to see her (he hasnt spoken to her in over two weeks, over a month before then) 

Then after that they played for a while, over the skype, without me in the room. Soon as I got back in the room though she says to him "daddy you can't be mean to mommy, remember when you were mean to mommy when we lived there?" 

I tried to tell her "dont' say that you hurt daddy's feelings" but she just kept going on and on about how he needs to be nice to me. I said "remember bella that was along time ago" she says "I know buut daddy you have to be nice to my mommy"

Needless to say he's pissed about it, probably feeling shitty. He thinks me and my family are brain washing her. I know its not coming from my end, and I dont think its coming from my parents. I told him he just needs to spend more time with her and that she doesnt have a filter and just says what comes to her mind.

Honestly I don't feel horrible about it, its just what she remembers. I hate that she brought it up to him, but what can I do?

Lately she's been telling everyone about this, just the other day we were at a friends house and she told my friend the same thing.... idk I guess its my own fault for not leaving sooner....

 We left about a year ago when she was 2 1/2 and this is a relativly new thing that she's started talking about. Is this normal? What can I do to fix it?

 I told him that maybe if we start communicating well to each other in front of her it might help

by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 8:02 PM
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Replies (1-5):
LauraMH
by Bronze Member on Apr. 26, 2013 at 8:30 PM
2 moms liked this
Good for her! Kids are so honest and she obviously pissed at her dad. I think it's great that she feels safe expressing her feelings. If you want her to stop it you may want to just have a quick conversation with her and let her know that's its ok to express how she feels but to talk to mommy about it first. That way you can answer questions and help her to work out her feelings.

I'm not sure what you mean by "mean to mommy" but she obviously still has issues with it. You may look into a play therapist too to help her depending on what she (and you) has been through.
virginiamama71
by Carrie on Apr. 26, 2013 at 11:47 PM
Yes try better communication in front of her, and counseling if that does not change things.
LifeCafe42
by Nora on Apr. 27, 2013 at 12:06 AM
It's normal my son (3 too) randomly in the car said "mama do you remember when you left me at the doctor?" When I dug deeper he was talking about when he got his tubes in October! So we talked about it he brings it up and we talk about it. Maybe talk to her about how it made her feel and that's why we need to be nice to our friends because it makes us feel sad.

This is such a fun age with keeping us on our toes!!!
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amonkeymom
by Gold Member on Apr. 27, 2013 at 3:43 PM

If you're not saying anything to her or coaching her, you don't have anythig to worry about.  If he doesn't like it, then I guess he can change his behavior!

steviechick
by Gold Member on Apr. 29, 2013 at 11:34 AM

My daughter and I had dinner last night and she brought up her father and his diplorable behavior towards the both of us.   Not only do we have to deal with his deadbeat ways but just dealing with his mental disorders.  It's been a huge eye-opening expereince to actually come to the conclusion that my ex has severe mental problems.  My daughter was even worried about becoming just like him.  I told her that there was too much of me inside of her to become this evil.  That he made his own bad life choices and is now paying for them. 

It's a sad state of reality when our own kids know just how awful their dads are.  I haven't said any lies to my daughter about her father.  His own actions proved to her just how awful he truly is. 

Kids are so innocent and at the same time gives us life lessons on truth and honesty. 

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