Ok, I have been separated for close to a year, but marriage was dead a long time before we split. It has been a long road for me and kids, but we are doing ok. Divorce is in pipeline.
About a year ago, I began communicating with a long-time acquaintance. This is someone with whom I share similar interests with as well as someone who has gone thru a divorce. So, a fair amount of common-ground.
Now, we are living on different coasts, so our communication is limited to texts/phone. But, over time, this has evolved and we have become close friends. He is in a relationship (not married), and they share kids. It sounds like the relationship is not in good shape. I have never, ever crossed the line. Even though, it was clear to me for some time I was developing feelings for him. I respected his choices and that he is w/ someone. Recently, he has admitted to me that he no longer is happy and that the relationship is becoming too difficult. This is where things have been getting interesting...we are beginning to flirt very playfully. There is a def sexual attraction as well as a personal one. We are getting a lot closer. This has been the closest thing I have had that is like a boyfriend in the longest time. I say LIKE a bf...maybe more like a man in my life.
I am trying so hard not to get in over my head, but I can't turn my feelings off. I do not want to get hurt, I worry that I will. BUT, this feels so great. And, I am only human.
We are seeing each other later on this spring at a seminar. Yes, I hope that we have sex (it's been well over a year for me), and that is soooo exciting, but I am kinda nervous about it too. I was with my H for nearly 20 years and I never cheated. I can't help but notice every spider vein, bit of cellulite, and gray hair. Is it normal to be so self-conscience? I don't want to be so nervous that I am overwhelmed. I know that this friendship of ours may go to the next-level. I am in totally uncharted territory here..
on Apr. 30, 2013 at 9:19 AM