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6month old meeting dad for 1st time

Posted by on May. 1, 2013 at 1:39 AM
  • 12 Replies
My daughter is 6 months old and has never met her father. We split when I was 7 wks preg bc of physical amd verbal abuse. He put a protective order on me when i was 5 months pregnant for hitting him. In all reality I was defending myself. Evem after that we still hung around each other. At 7 months pregnant a ffight hsppened again. Since that day I've never been around him. He has a 3 yr old daughter and is AMAZING to her and is back with the mother of that child. He has never once asked or seen my daughter. We've been going to court for child support for about 3 months. We're setting up visitation. They should be meeting soon. I don't believe he wants to be apart of her life it's more of a drag for him. Since my daughter was born i've sent texts, Christmas cards, emails about my baby to him amd i would get NO response. I'm really nervous how their meet will go. I will be there supervising. I don't him in and out of her life but I at least want to try. I feel like his "love" for our child would never compare to the love he has for his 1st daughter. Help, advice, encouragement, anything..
by on May. 1, 2013 at 1:39 AM
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mother_of_Eve
by on May. 1, 2013 at 9:02 AM
1 mom liked this

you cant make him want to see your baby.. or saddly even love her.. its his choice.. :( my daughters father hasnt been in her life much the last time he saw her was 6 months ago, and he has been MIA for three months, i have no clue where he is.. it hurts us as mothers to know that our babies might be hurt because their father might not love them the way they need to be loved by their dad.. but we cant make their fathers step up and be better, all we can do is love them with all we have, and one day she will thank you for loving her threw all the hard times!

Michelleg-31
by on May. 1, 2013 at 11:30 AM
1 mom liked this
Yeah that's definitely the truth. It's hard to accept at times because I grew up with both parents. That's all Iever wanted for my daughter. But you're right I can't try to force something. I will see how the first couple visitations goes (if he even shows). to see if there is any signs that he cares for her then I'll go from there. Thanks for your feedback, I'm new to this site and just really want to find "mom friends" and people that are in the same boat as me. (:
brieri
by Platinum Member on May. 1, 2013 at 2:08 PM

 badWelcome to the group.

Washie guy he is.  He's AMAZING too!  Wow, lot's of posiftives you can say.  Not generalizing here either.  It's been often seen, guys will not be around their child at least until the court has made an order, so don't despair.

Michelleg-31
by on May. 1, 2013 at 5:45 PM
He's amazing to his first child, yes. He does everything with her and for her. I can admit that. I'm not quite sure what you're getting at.


Quoting brieri:

 badWelcome to the group.


Washie guy he is.  He's AMAZING too!  Wow, lot's of posiftives you can say.  Not generalizing here either.  It's been often seen, guys will not be around their child at least until the court has made an order, so don't despair.


brieri
by Platinum Member on May. 1, 2013 at 5:47 PM

bow down 

Quoting Michelleg-31:

He's amazing to his first child, yes. He does everything with her and for her. I can admit that. I'm not quite sure what you're getting at.


Quoting brieri:

 badWelcome to the group.


Washie guy he is.  He's AMAZING too!  Wow, lot's of posiftives you can say.  Not generalizing here either.  It's been often seen, guys will not be around their child at least until the court has made an order, so don't despair.


 

camommy08
by on May. 1, 2013 at 10:32 PM
1 mom liked this

sorry to hear he beeing like that. I hope that one day hell wake up and realize he has 2 kids and should treat them equally, but if he doesnt want to be involved just do what you have to do to make sure you get some support. ut if he doesnt want to be involved at the time then dont force it.

Michelleg-31
by on May. 1, 2013 at 11:46 PM
I hope he realizes it too. He's trying to convince me to put away all child support he pays in a bank account and my daughter will be able to get it once she turns 18. He's worried I'll spend it on myself. I would never do that of course. His child support is a measly$ 233. I told him doing that would defeat the purpose of child support. I would use that money to buy her extra stuff because I have the main stuff covered. Should I agree? I told him i'd agree if he agreed to alternate buying pampers and other necessities.


Quoting camommy08:

sorry to hear he beeing like that. I hope that one day hell wake up and realize he has 2 kids and should treat them equally, but if he doesnt want to be involved just do what you have to do to make sure you get some support. ut if he doesnt want to be involved at the time then dont force it.


easinpc
by Gold Member on May. 2, 2013 at 9:51 AM
1 mom liked this

Hugs!

camommy08
by on May. 2, 2013 at 6:24 PM

I wouldnt agree. If he wants to set up an account for her then you guys should get it set up to where a portion of the child support he has to pay will go into an account and the rest to you. You need that money to help you. Its amazing on even a little bit helps. My ex has to pay 50 a month! So I would get like 15 a week. I would save that money up for clothes or whatever dd would need.

My ex gf once told me that supposly my ex said he didnt want to pay cs cause he thought I would spend it on me. I know that was a lie. I hate when they say that. Its like no the money goes to the child!

Quoting Michelleg-31:

I hope he realizes it too. He's trying to convince me to put away all child support he pays in a bank account and my daughter will be able to get it once she turns 18. He's worried I'll spend it on myself. I would never do that of course. His child support is a measly$ 233. I told him doing that would defeat the purpose of child support. I would use that money to buy her extra stuff because I have the main stuff covered. Should I agree? I told him i'd agree if he agreed to alternate buying pampers and other necessities.


Quoting camommy08:

sorry to hear he beeing like that. I hope that one day hell wake up and realize he has 2 kids and should treat them equally, but if he doesnt want to be involved just do what you have to do to make sure you get some support. ut if he doesnt want to be involved at the time then dont force it.



 

sid1083
by Silver Member on May. 3, 2013 at 5:03 PM

If there's an order of protection, why don't you have someone else supervise the visits? But who knows, maybe dad will come around with your daughter too after he spends some time with her.

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