Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My 5 1/2yr sabotoged my date tonight!

Posted by on May. 1, 2013 at 11:20 PM
  • 24 Replies
I am a single mom of a 5 1/2 yr lil girl who's father has died. Its been just her & I since the day she was born. I had a date tonight. She sank my date! This was the 1st nice Guy to come along in 6yrs, a true southern gentleman. Everytime I talk to him on the phone. My daughter or my mother interfere in the call. He hears it! Tonight he told me I should stay home. Or it would come back to bite me in the ass if I were to come out. He actually called me to say you ready? Lets go! Then my daughter started screaming! I walked into different rooms in the house. She followed me screaming while I was on the phone! I asked my daughter to stop. I asked my mother for help. Then yelled for help! . The Guy said I should stay home. Cause if I don't. My daughters actions will get worse. He said as a single dad. It has happened to him before. It bit him in the ass. My daughtet said she did it, cayse het friends at school told her I dont wsnt het anymore. I want to leave her for a man & get msrried & move on w/out her! Now I'm all dressed up and nowhere to go. I'm crying. Has this happened to anyone on this page? If so How did u handle your child? What should I tell her when I'm on phone with a potential date?

by on May. 1, 2013 at 11:20 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
lydi
by Lydi on May. 1, 2013 at 11:54 PM
4 moms liked this

 I would be speaking to dd first and get her more comfortable with the situation.  she is probably terrified of losing you or maybe change and explain  that her friends are wrong and that you will always love her and will never leave her.  Then hopefully she won't behave like that when you are on the phone. 

dawncs
by on May. 2, 2013 at 7:03 AM

She probably has some friends who's parents are single parents with both of them alive. Those children probably have a fear that they will be replaced by half siblings and not cared about as much. Some of them were probably even abandoned by maybe the father for a new family. Since your husband died, she probably worries about what would happen to her if she got abandoned. You might want to get her involved with counseling at school or at home to help her through this.

Dawn


Group owner of Different Learners Support Group (http://www.cafemom.com/group/118648)

krisnkids
by Silver Member on May. 2, 2013 at 8:55 AM
1 mom liked this

Okay, so I am the complete opposite. It is not like she is used to having her dad around and she is worried about a new man coming into your life and daddy getting replaced. She didn't want you to go out, she screamed, you didn't go out, she got her way.

BUT, I also wouldn't be telling her, "honey mommy is going out on a date with xxx tonight". Sorry, that is not the business of a 5 year old. What should be said is "mommy is going out wth friends tonight and you get to stay with grandma!" Kids think dating changes everything, its not like you are marrying him. Not to mention their ideas get distorted from what they hear from their friends points of view. As for talking on the phone, either go for a drive and chat, text all you want, or wait til she goes to bed and call.

LifeCafe42
by Nora on May. 2, 2013 at 9:23 AM
You need to talk to her and your mother.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
dawncs
by on May. 2, 2013 at 9:39 AM

I forgot about your comments with your mother. You need to have a long talk with her that you are lonely and want male companionship. Tell her that she ruined a relationship. Ask her how she would have felt if you had interfered with her relationship with your father or significant other as a teenager when you really hated him or the situation. Tell her you can't let your daughter control everything in life otherwise she would not be eating her fruits and veggies and instead be eating cake and ice cream all day. She definitely forgot how to be a parent since you grew up.

Dawn


Group owner of Different Learners Support Group (http://www.cafemom.com/group/118648)

easinpc
by Gold Member on May. 2, 2013 at 9:49 AM
1 mom liked this

 I agree with this.  I would sit down with your daughter and reassure her that you are not going anywhere without her and that you will always love her no matter what happens. 


Quoting LifeCafe42:

You need to talk to her and your mother.


 

Amy1973Potts
by on May. 2, 2013 at 11:44 AM
1 mom liked this
Reassure her, but in no way let her dictate your life to this extreme. THAT will come back to bite you in the ass. If you let her do this now, it will get worse.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
maddiemommy2009
by on May. 2, 2013 at 2:02 PM
Hahahaha some people I tell u @ aslen.

My daughter gets that way sometimes . Not because of who am going with ... which I think that doesn't concern her but because of the fact that I'm leaving..
What I do when I'm getting dress she's right beside me. So I give her something of mine to keep and tell her I'll be back soon for those I'm trusting u to keep it safe and she gets so excited its like I've given her a top mission to complete.

Plus u should talk to ur mom also my parents are a big help she enjoys being with her papa
GoldenLinds
by Member on May. 2, 2013 at 2:07 PM
Firstly I think you need to go iut anyway. She needs to see that she isn't ruling the roost. Then you need some special alone timenwith her the next day. Reinforce that she matters too. Then maybe do a fakily date as soonas you can. When I staryed dating my bf he said I could bring my son on our first date. Hes a single dad and my son is young so he said he understood. Mostly you need a break feom dd so you can refresh.
ajohnson08099
by Member on May. 2, 2013 at 3:16 PM
Wow why don't you tak about twwwwooo seconds and read that again. It says thats what her daughters Five year old Friend said good lord.

Quoting Aslen:

Crawled up my ass?



OP said she wants to leave her daughter, go off and get married, and have a life. It's all in the op




Quoting ajohnson08099:

What crawled up your ass???





Otherwise op you need to talk to mom and daughter just like others have said.






Quoting Aslen:

You need to calm your ass. You need to understand she FIVE.







AND if you want to leave your child for a damn man she is better off WITHOUT YOU.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)