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My 5 1/2yr sabotoged my date tonight!

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I am a single mom of a 5 1/2 yr lil girl who's father has died. Its been just her & I since the day she was born. I had a date tonight. She sank my date! This was the 1st nice Guy to come along in 6yrs, a true southern gentleman. Everytime I talk to him on the phone. My daughter or my mother interfere in the call. He hears it! Tonight he told me I should stay home. Or it would come back to bite me in the ass if I were to come out. He actually called me to say you ready? Lets go! Then my daughter started screaming! I walked into different rooms in the house. She followed me screaming while I was on the phone! I asked my daughter to stop. I asked my mother for help. Then yelled for help! . The Guy said I should stay home. Cause if I don't. My daughters actions will get worse. He said as a single dad. It has happened to him before. It bit him in the ass. My daughtet said she did it, cayse het friends at school told her I dont wsnt het anymore. I want to leave her for a man & get msrried & move on w/out her! Now I'm all dressed up and nowhere to go. I'm crying. Has this happened to anyone on this page? If so How did u handle your child? What should I tell her when I'm on phone with a potential date?

by on May. 1, 2013 at 11:20 PM
Replies (21-24):
soulofsunmama
by on May. 3, 2013 at 1:43 PM
1 mom liked this
Does having a different opinion have to *be* a problem?

I just find what you said pretty centered around how a child *should* feel, then rather how she *might* feel. And I see this way of thinking constantly, it just rubs me wrong.
Children grow up with an entitled attitude, because they *learn* that by example.


This is an example of that, it felt like to me.
your quote:

"It is not like she is used to having her dad around and she is worried about a new man coming into your life and daddy getting replaced."

How do you have any idea?
It's just very dismissive of what may *actually* be going on INSIDE her, so to assume something of this nature,immediately puts blame in her direction.
She's a child.
That's all.
Quoting krisnkids:

Is there a problem? 




Quoting soulofsunmama:

Wow


Quoting krisnkids:


Okay, so I am the complete opposite. It is not like she is used to having her dad around and she is worried about a new man coming into your life and daddy getting replaced. She didn't want you to go out, she screamed, you didn't go out, she got her way.



BUT, I also wouldn't be telling her, "honey mommy is going out on a date with xxx tonight". Sorry, that is not the business of a 5 year old. What should be said is "mommy is going out wth friends tonight and you get to stay with grandma!" Kids think dating changes everything, its not like you are marrying him. Not to mention their ideas get distorted from what they hear from their friends points of view. As for talking on the phone, either go for a drive and chat, text all you want, or wait til she goes to bed and call.




 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
krisnkids
by Gold Member on May. 3, 2013 at 3:50 PM

I didn't assume, I read. It's been mom and daughter since the day she was born. Kids don't necessarily learn by example, they learn by getting their way, never learning what the word NO means and the parents letting the child control the situation. 


Quoting soulofsunmama:

Does having a different opinion have to *be* a problem?

I just find what you said pretty centered around how a child *should* feel, then rather how she *might* feel. And I see this way of thinking constantly, it just rubs me wrong.
Children grow up with an entitled attitude, because they *learn* that by example.


This is an example of that, it felt like to me.
your quote:

"It is not like she is used to having her dad around and she is worried about a new man coming into your life and daddy getting replaced."

How do you have any idea?
It's just very dismissive of what may *actually* be going on INSIDE her, so to assume something of this nature,immediately puts blame in her direction.
She's a child.
That's all.
Quoting krisnkids:

Is there a problem? 


 


Quoting soulofsunmama:

Wow


Quoting krisnkids:


Okay, so I am the complete opposite. It is not like she is used to having her dad around and she is worried about a new man coming into your life and daddy getting replaced. She didn't want you to go out, she screamed, you didn't go out, she got her way.



BUT, I also wouldn't be telling her, "honey mommy is going out on a date with xxx tonight". Sorry, that is not the business of a 5 year old. What should be said is "mommy is going out wth friends tonight and you get to stay with grandma!" Kids think dating changes everything, its not like you are marrying him. Not to mention their ideas get distorted from what they hear from their friends points of view. As for talking on the phone, either go for a drive and chat, text all you want, or wait til she goes to bed and call.


 


 


 

soulofsunmama
by on May. 3, 2013 at 3:52 PM
Ok, I totally disagree. Getting their way, is NOT a form of spoilage, being spoiled is NOT because they get their way, its because parents believe what is going on with themselves is that much more important. To not stop what they are doing, to find out *what* is driving a child to act out. Which all comes back to a "me" attitude. I'm not saying everyone should drop their lives or existence, but I am saying that what seems surface is not always surface....mom isn't dealing with an adult here, why does society expect them to act that way?

Quoting krisnkids:

I didn't assume, I read. It's been mom and daughter since the day she was born. Kids don't necessarily learn by example, they learn by getting their� way, never learning what the word NO means and the parents letting the child control the situation.� 




Quoting soulofsunmama:

Does having a different opinion have to *be* a problem?

I just find what you said pretty centered around how a child *should* feel, then rather how she *might* feel. And I see this way of thinking constantly, it just rubs me wrong.
Children grow up with an entitled attitude, because they *learn* that by example.


This is an example of that, it felt like to me.
your quote:

"It is not like she is used to having her dad around and she is worried about a new man coming into your life and daddy getting replaced."

How do you have any idea?
It's just very dismissive of what may *actually* be going on INSIDE her, so to assume something of this nature,immediately puts blame in her direction.
She's a child.
That's all.

Quoting krisnkids:


Is there a problem?� 



� 



Quoting soulofsunmama:

Wow



Quoting krisnkids:



Okay, so I am the complete opposite. It is not like she is used to having her dad around and she is worried about a new man coming into your life and daddy getting replaced. She didn't want you to go out, she screamed, you didn't go out, she got her way.




BUT, I also wouldn't be telling her, "honey mommy is going out on a date with xxx tonight". Sorry, that is not the business of a 5 year old. What should be said is "mommy is going out wth friends tonight and you get to stay with grandma!" Kids think dating changes everything, its not like you are marrying him. Not to mention their ideas get distorted from what they hear from their friends points of view. As for talking on the phone, either go for a drive and chat, text all you want, or wait til she goes to bed and call.



� 



� 




� 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
faerie75
by Ruby Member on May. 4, 2013 at 1:07 PM
I put my kids in check so they never tried rhat stuff. But, they always felt secure too.
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