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Single Moms Single Moms

My single mom struggle...

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5 1/2 months pregnant I moved back home to get help from my mom since I was living in a state where I knew no one and had no help. I thought I was making the right decision. Fast forward, my daughter is now 8 months, I'm unemployed looking for work, and have no one to help me. On my mom off days she won't keep my daughter so I can go look for jobs, she barely want to keep her so I can run to the store to get her more formula and milk, mind you the other day it was raining so I didn't want to take her out. Now I know it's not my moms responsibility to watch her but you'd think she want to help since she was the one with the idea for me to come home.

My sister was telling me about a shelter that can give me the help I need and want. They have a daycare on site, they help you find employment, takes you shopping for interview clothes (lord knows I need that I barely have clothes that I can fit), helps you find housing, gives you rides to and from the job interviews (which is helpful because I have no car) and if you attend school they take you to and from. 

I just want to get back on my feet. I want to be able to provide for my daughter like a mother is suppose to. I'm tired of feeling helpless and hopeless. My mom doesn't want me to go but I truly feel in my heart that this is what's best for me and my daughter. This is the help I need and want.


CafeMom Tickers
by on May. 2, 2013 at 11:27 PM
Replies (21-29):
flawskii
by on May. 9, 2013 at 11:49 AM
My caseworker said if I'm willing to go out there (it's a city that's quite far from where I am now) then by all means do so because it's a very well known shelter that does a lot of good work. My sister was just recently living there with my two nieces and telling me about the grounds, programs, and opportunities. It sounds really nice. I can't get a tour unless I'm going to live just for security reasons.

Quoting krisnkids:

It sounds like you have a good idea of what you are doing, I say go for it. Too many people hem and haw and debate on what is best while the opportunities slip right on by. Is your caseworker suggesting this? I would ask if you can go over and see first hand what it is like then make your decision. As for your mom, if you decide to do this tell her thank you for your input but I fell this is best for me and little one right now.

flawskii
by on May. 9, 2013 at 11:55 AM
My mom and me have out ups and downs but when we have our downs it goes really low. I appreciate the help she does give me but then it's like what the hell when she gets in her feelings and she wants to yell and scream at my child about crying (mind you she's 8 months). Yes she's a little spoiled but she doesn't cry for no reason or if she's fussing and in my moms room she starts yelling at her telling her to get the hell out her room or clapping and yelling at her like she's a damn dig or something. The constantly yelling and threatening to whoop my child rubs me the wrong way and I'm tired of it. Going to this shelter to help me get on my feet is what I believe is best for my child and me.

Quoting lovemybabes3:

from one mom living at home w/ her mom to another...do what you have to do for you and your baby...who cares what your mom says bc mine is the same way...she wants to run my life but not help much but honestly i dont want her help any more bc it always comes w/ a price, its not out of the goodness of her heart anymore...i am trying to get myself on my own 2 feet and thats what you have to do too...good luck!!

krisnkids
by Gold Member on May. 9, 2013 at 12:01 PM

 Then I say do it.


Quoting flawskii:

My caseworker said if I'm willing to go out there (it's a city that's quite far from where I am now) then by all means do so because it's a very well known shelter that does a lot of good work. My sister was just recently living there with my two nieces and telling me about the grounds, programs, and opportunities. It sounds really nice. I can't get a tour unless I'm going to live just for security reasons.

Quoting krisnkids:

It sounds like you have a good idea of what you are doing, I say go for it. Too many people hem and haw and debate on what is best while the opportunities slip right on by. Is your caseworker suggesting this? I would ask if you can go over and see first hand what it is like then make your decision. As for your mom, if you decide to do this tell her thank you for your input but I fell this is best for me and little one right now.


 

MichelleSw
by on May. 9, 2013 at 12:02 PM

That program sounds great. Do some research for yourself. That may just be the boost you need. 

Christy78
by on May. 9, 2013 at 12:10 PM

 I agree with all the moms her you need to do was is best for you and you daughter. Good luck .

Jkia1boy
by Member on May. 9, 2013 at 12:14 PM
I was just going to ask that... They can be a help when you have nothing. I've been where you are and now I'm working and have a car. So you will get through this hump, its just sometimes we have to get outside help. Try thos approach ok (assistance frpm the state)


Quoting newmama008:

Have you applied for assistance through the state? They will also help find a job and provide daycare while you go to interviews and search for jobs.


lovemybabes3
by on May. 10, 2013 at 1:49 PM


yea that would bother me too...my mom doesnt yell at my kids as much but does like to get in the way of me discipling my kids and it drives me up the wall bc i am trying to get them to listen to me and she thinks she can go against what i am asking and distract them...i hope everything goes well and i know it isnt easy when you have to live with family

Quoting flawskii:

My mom and me have out ups and downs but when we have our downs it goes really low. I appreciate the help she does give me but then it's like what the hell when she gets in her feelings and she wants to yell and scream at my child about crying (mind you she's 8 months). Yes she's a little spoiled but she doesn't cry for no reason or if she's fussing and in my moms room she starts yelling at her telling her to get the hell out her room or clapping and yelling at her like she's a damn dig or something. The constantly yelling and threatening to whoop my child rubs me the wrong way and I'm tired of it. Going to this shelter to help me get on my feet is what I believe is best for my child and me.

Quoting lovemybabes3:

from one mom living at home w/ her mom to another...do what you have to do for you and your baby...who cares what your mom says bc mine is the same way...she wants to run my life but not help much but honestly i dont want her help any more bc it always comes w/ a price, its not out of the goodness of her heart anymore...i am trying to get myself on my own 2 feet and thats what you have to do too...good luck!!



Roo1234
by on May. 10, 2013 at 1:58 PM

If your mom is unwilling to help you, you need to use other resources to help yourself.  It won't be easy, but it sounds like this program offers a pretty amazing opportunity and if you can use it, go for it.

Shyandteyamommy
by on May. 10, 2013 at 7:18 PM
Yea I think you should me and my mom have our ups and downs as well but she will be moving soon an giving me her mobile home I couldn't ask for better an ill be at peace not being around her all day an with my kids getting on her nerves i say go for it, run for it because I understand what you are going threw an i have two babies.
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