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What a Nice Guy...

Posted by on May. 3, 2013 at 9:06 PM
  • 9 Replies

happy So I have been seeing a guy... and he is so nice... The conundrum is, he is ready to make things more than just casual, and I am not... He is ready to meet my hetherns, and I am not... I am just not ready to move past the casual meeting up because I don't want to put my children into a position where they may get hurt... and he is ok with this... am I in the Twilight Zone?

by on May. 3, 2013 at 9:06 PM
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Replies (1-9):
MIMIBRIE
by Jayme on May. 4, 2013 at 12:36 AM
No, your just a great mother who puts her kids feelings first. Explain your concerns to him and if he's the one he will understand.
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MamaHens3
by Martica on May. 4, 2013 at 12:47 AM

No, your a mother who cares and respects her children. Know what you do, and what not affects them as much as you. You know when it's time, and you explain to him the reasoning if needed. 

I didn't have my kids know, or hang around my now bf when I was just with him casually a good while (I've known him for 2 years, first year was us in limbo causal). I normally just hung out with him, seen him when the kids were with their dad if not sleeping evening time of day. I remember the first time he did meet them, I made sure I wouldn't regret it. I didn't get to meet his two kids, until he felt he could trust me. When you get involved in a single parents kids life, your leaving an impression. I know when my youngest day, not the father of the three big kids of my four. I remember him not around, he bailed on me when I was pregnant. They would talk about him, and I felt more sad for them. When my now bf, serious level of us seeing as we live together talk of an us life. Met my kids, I told him I didn't want them to meet him, and he do a babies dad move. Its one thing to hurt me, but my kids seeing them upset hurts me much more. 

EachNewBreath
by on May. 4, 2013 at 2:37 AM

my family and I have talked about this for a while. I am in the camp of have them meet sooner than later. After all if they dont like each other best not to waste anytime. i think that there can be casual meetings. Like everyone getting together at a park, stuff like that, so no hearts have to get broken 

ajohnson08099
by Member on May. 4, 2013 at 11:06 AM
1 mom liked this
Just have to be honest. You can't hold it off forever but you have to be ready.
conniejo75
by Bronze Member on May. 4, 2013 at 11:31 AM
2 moms liked this
I agree. Sooner is better BUT only as a casual outing to see how they interact. Mom's can have friends. The kids get attached when mom moves in bf or has bf always there and staying over


Quoting EachNewBreath:

my family and I have talked about this for a while. I am in the camp of have them meet sooner than later. After all if they dont like each other best not to waste anytime. i think that there can be casual meetings. Like everyone getting together at a park, stuff like that, so no hearts have to get broken 


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LifeCafe42
by Nora on May. 4, 2013 at 1:50 PM
You are the one in charge of that front you need to be comfortable or it won't be good. He needs to accept that
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jjmama12
by on May. 4, 2013 at 1:53 PM
1 mom liked this

No, you're in the Im scared to get hurt and hurt my children zone. Casual dating means no commitment (even just with the children) and no attachments. So if he messes up or you do, it wont hurt that bad. BUt just think. Would you be sad or hurt if he casually met with someone else, or casually started dating someone who then casually takes your position...

maddiemommy2009
by on May. 4, 2013 at 3:08 PM
Men act on how they feel at that moment and never think about the long run. And when you give in not all but some realize later on its not what they wanted or expected. I think you should wait until you are comfortable with introducing your kids and if he really proves himself to be worthy of being around them .

I am only talking from my experience I know others have different views.

I have been a single mom since I found out I was pregnant I never saw or heard from my childs father after I told him that one day. But I am a proud mom sowhere he is I thank him and its his lost.

I let one person into my childs life and after 2 years 5 months we broke up and he never looked back for her.
I dont want her mert every guy I date I know it sounds realistic next person who meets her will be my future husband lol .
amonkeymom
by Gold Member on May. 4, 2013 at 3:26 PM

I can't blame you and I'd want to wait a while too.  Just talk to him and explain where you stand at the moment.  If he's as nice as you say he'll understand and be patient.

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