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Filing Child Support asap/Custody Joint or Shared? Need help please -Should you file child support alone or with custody at the same time?

Posted by on May. 4, 2013 at 9:42 AM
  • 8 Replies

Hey CM's,

I'm wondering if i should file child support alone by itself or should I go ahead and beat him to the punch and file for custody at the same time. My sister told me that I should file child support and custody at the same time to get it out the way being that we all know my kids dad is going to file custody as retaliation anyway. 

but  a friend of mine who has went through this suggests just filing child support only and let him go ahead and do his custody retaliation. I want to do the smart thing just not sure what. 

Right now we don't have legal custody but "joint custody" but I have her 1 day more which makes me primary custodial parent and an attorney affirmed that to me. So I looked it up and their is shared custody and joint custody and I am not sure which one I should file for. I believe shared would work better for me. I do know that even if the father has joint custody he may still be ordered to pay child support. I looked online and one article said that a parent shouldn't go in asking for joint because it may look like they dont think they can be primary parent?? i was like what the heck? 


So my questions are:

1. Have any of you ladies ever filed for child support and custody at the same time? Was it a good thing to do-did it benefit you? How to know if you should just file child support and deal with custody later? Do the courts automatically make you file (I was told they do later that's why I should just file child support and I know child support case and custody are two separate entities)-Should i just go in and file for support only or do both at the same time.

2. I can't file for sole custody because my dd has been with him almost equally for 7 years and I know she doesnt want that to change and I know that it would be best for her. So I'm thinking joint or shared. In my situation is it better to file for Joint or shared?

I know its lengthy my bad I just want to do what would benefit me and dd. Thanks ladies and Happy Saturday!


by on May. 4, 2013 at 9:42 AM
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Replies (1-8):
sid1083
by Silver Member on May. 4, 2013 at 10:34 AM
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I'm not sure what the difference between joint and shared are - sound like the same thing to me. I've only heard options to be sole and joint, with differences being between legal and physical (i.e. can have joint legal with primary/sole physical).

But if you've essentially has joint custody for 7 years now, if file both at the same time. No sense stressing yourself out twice, especially if each process becomes lengthy.
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CamsMommy0731
by New Member on May. 4, 2013 at 10:55 AM
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The difference between joint and shared custody is that joint gives each parent a decision in important matters in the child's life (ie. Medical and education are some bigger points)
It is also when one parent has no more then 40% of the time(the NCP) where as a shared custody situation would have each parent having the child no less then 40% of the time and no more then 60%. Essentially very equally with both parents.

I personally cannot see how or why a judge would switch a good thing between you guys up.
Have you considered going to mediation and settling the access that way?
LifeCafe42
by Nora on May. 4, 2013 at 1:52 PM
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I'm not much of a help I have sole. Have you asked your attorney their thoughts?
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jjmama12
by on May. 4, 2013 at 2:01 PM
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I only filed for CS and then thinking I could trust my ex would leave his mistress-turned-girlfriend out of the process I didnt file for custody agreement. So our time with and without the boys is come and go, no organization and sometimes he wont even help me with taking them so I can go to school or work, and he and her dont work. So I would love to have done both at the same time. But idk what difference other than personal reasons it would make. i would suggest joint custody if the child is used to seeing both of you equally.Not every court makes you file for custody at the same time, go to your county city court house and see what they allow and dont.

Toshi92
by on May. 4, 2013 at 5:03 PM

JJmama you aint lying! I have the same thing. Dealing with the mistress turned girlfriend turned baby momma who is obviously to me telling him what to do. I know for a fact that if I do file CS he will def come back at me with some custody stuff so he can pay less. I will def do that at the same time. Thanks a lot! 

Toshi92
by on May. 4, 2013 at 5:04 PM

sis 1083 that makes sense! Don't stress myself out twice just get it done. Thank you :-)

Toshi92
by on May. 4, 2013 at 5:05 PM

Lifecafe42, 

That's exactly what I am going to do -great advice-talk to an attorney first! I'm going to do that next week. thanks :+) 

Toshi92
by on May. 4, 2013 at 5:06 PM

Cams, I thought the same thing. WHy would a judge switch this up? I'm going to ask an attorney first before I jump into this. Thanks! 

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