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How Things Are Changing

Posted by on May. 5, 2013 at 7:58 AM
  • 2 Replies

I got to thinking this morning how things have changed in my life. I mainly started thinking about this because my parents (whom I and my 3 year old ds live with) had gone away for the weekened. They have a small house in the mountains. Recently when they go up (on Friday), they come home on Sunday early. Like 10-11 am early. Whereas before, I never expected to see them till 1 pm or later. I used to have lots of time to make sure the house was properly clean and such. My boyfriend stays over on these weekends so he had time to get up and get moving .

So now I rush to make sure trash is out, rooms are cleaned in case they return early. My problem with all that is....they then invited friends of theirs over. Those friends come over around 4 if not earlier. It is hinted and suggested we (my boyfriend, son and I) make our selves scarce. If they are all inside, the three of us should stay outside. I think it's unfair that they come home and tell us to get out basically. There is no heads up or game plan.

Did I mention that those friends of theirs I have known my whole life. These are people I call aunt and uncle. That I have played with their kids growing up. I have gone to dinner or hung out on vacation with. Until recently, we all hung out and had dinner and talked. Now, both my parents (mostly my mother) makes a point to mention that these people are 'their friends'. It hurts kinda. I have never known them as just my parents friends. It just sucks.

by on May. 5, 2013 at 7:58 AM
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Replies (1-2):
Mamavelt
by Bronze Member on May. 5, 2013 at 9:38 AM
Your parents have allowed you and your chills to stay w them- which is kind and generous. But no doubt infringes on their life. They are leaving weekends because they enjoy it, but also to give space. I think you parents have simply laid down boundaries which make the situation manageable for them, which I think is smart and you need to try to understand their perspective.

As far as the family friends, are they such close friends that you independently called up and socialized with or has it always been exclusively through your parents? Explain to your parents that you understand they need their social time but that you miss the friends and ask if you can set aside a day to do a family BBQ or something. If your parents do not like that idea, then I would simply call the friends up and tell them you miss them and would love to get together - maybe meet somewhere for dinner or something. But I wouldn't suggest complaining about your parents policies to them.

Integenerational living arrangements can be really hard but beneficial for all concerned. Remember you are lucky it is an option that many of us wish we had. Good luck!
LifeCafe42
by Nora on May. 5, 2013 at 11:05 AM

i'm sorry 

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