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Need advice on getting out on my own.

Posted by on May. 5, 2013 at 9:25 PM
  • 8 Replies
I'm 28, I've been with my husband (61) for 9 1/2 years, married for 8 1/2 years. We have 2 kids, a 6 year old daughter and a 3 year old son, both have ADHD and alot of behavior problems. My husband has 12 older kids, I know 5 of them and 4 have been in jail and they all have serious attitude issues. When I first met him I believed what he said when he told me that was because their mom let them get away with anything, but now I see that it's because of his attitude and their mom just gave up fighting. He disrespects everyone, he thinks people should kiss the ground he walks on, he's a compulsive liar, and I'm just tired of being treated like trash and when he bothers to try to help with the kids, all he does is make things worse. I have to get out of here, if it was just me, I could deal with it, but the way he acts is affecting our kids now and it has to stop. The problem I have is that I don't have a job, I have been a stay at home mom since my daughter was born. And if I do manage to find a job while i'm still with him, he will just stop buying the diapers and things that he usually gets so I will have to get them and won't be able to save anything to leave with. He is on social security dissability, so the kids and I each get a dependancy check, total of $810 a month, but lot rent and house payment is $500 a month, so I guess I'm trying to figure out what is out there that can help me until I can get a steady job and get on my feet. I'm in Ohio by the way, so if anybody has any experience with this in Ohio I would really appreciate any advice you could give me. The other problem that I am having is that I have never gotten my license, and I don't have a car. In a bigger city i could take a bus or taxi, but i live in a very small town that doesn't have any public transportation. Again, if anybody has any advice, I would really appreciate it. Thank you
by on May. 5, 2013 at 9:25 PM
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Replies (1-8):
by Carrie on May. 5, 2013 at 9:30 PM
Do you have any family who may help you financially? Especially with learning to drive and getting your license?
by on May. 5, 2013 at 9:34 PM

Where at in Ohio?

by on May. 5, 2013 at 9:36 PM
My parent's tried to teach me to drive when I was a teenager, but my first time with my permit, someone backed into me in a parking lot, put a big hole in my parent's van, so I'm pretty terrified of driving, and I think they are scared to teach me after that. They would probably help me if I moved back there (they didn't aprove of my marriage so the relationship has been very strained since I was 19) but I worry about moving my kids 2 hours away from their brothers and sisters and neices and nephews. If I can't figure out how to get through this on my own and get on my feet, that is what will end up happening, but I wanted to see if there was any way I could do this without moving to the other side of the state.
by on May. 5, 2013 at 9:38 PM
I'm in northwest ohio, findlay area
by on May. 5, 2013 at 9:40 PM

yes, there is a 33 year diference, I'm claiming teenage stupidity and being naive.

by Member on May. 5, 2013 at 10:21 PM
1 mom liked this

 Now you're older and need to do what's best for your kids. If I were you I'd move back by family. Your oldest is in what Kindergarten, if that. Move now before they have too many friends to miss. It's only 2 hours away and I'm guessing most of his kids are way older and able to drive to see your kids if they want to. You're going to need help. I live by my family. I don't know what I would do without them. Unless maybe you think your stepkids will help you out so you can leave their father, going back to your family seems like the best option. Get on your feet, learn to drive, get a job. Maybe getting them away from your husband would be better for them too.

by Silver Member on May. 6, 2013 at 12:18 AM
Holy cow. 33 year age difference and he has 12 other kids? It send like you will be getting some support since he's on disability. I guess I don't know why people on fixed limited incomes like him keep having kids but that is an entirely different rant.

Start looking for a job. With the SSDI you should be able to afford a 2 bedroom apt. Can u start asking around for help with child care for the 3 yr old? Also school is almost out so you'll need child are for the 6 yr old. Do you trust any of his older kids with your kids? I don't imagine any of them approved of your relationship so maybe that's a no. I would go to your DES website and apply for any daycare help. Good luck.
by on May. 6, 2013 at 6:43 AM
The step-kids that I know are ok with our relationship now, well, 4 of the 5 are, but they are all adults with jobs and kids of their own to take care of. What is DES?
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