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Posted by on May. 9, 2013 at 10:22 AM
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I just got divorced in March,and I have 3 children (2 from the marriage,1 from a previous relationship but my ex is the only dad he's ever known).  Last July my ex left to go to work,called me that evening and said he wasn't coming back.  He had called his mom and she sent him money to leave us and go back to Florida and live with her (the kids and I live in Kansas).  He quit his job (family's only income) and took our car (family's only car) and just left.  Last fall I did this whole "the kids need to move down here so they don't have to endure winter" thing.  I grew up in Kansas,I endured many winters I'm completely fine!  Then he started saying that he was going to get a lawyer and take the kids from me (even the one that isn't his) because I don't have a car.  Well hello YOU took our car!  

From September until the divorce was final and child support was court ordered he said he could only afford to give me $200/month. He works full time,lives with his mom and doesn't really pay any of his bills and $200 is all he could pay for the kids!!  I decided to just take what I could get.  When the divorce was final in March I was awarded $526/month in child support for the 2 kids from the marriage.  I receive nothing for my oldest child.  The judge said that the child support will go into effect April 1st.  Here it is May 9th and I haven't received a dime.  I called the court and asked what was up and they told me I needed to submit an income withholding form in order to have the support deducted from his paychecks.  Nobody told me about this form before!  We did our divorce pro se (no legal representation) because we were getting along and trying to be friendly about it.  Two weeks ago I found out I was approved for a low income apartment (we've been staying with my parents).  I politely tell my ex what's going with the child support and that I need the money to move with and he acts like he's gonna help me.  Then a few days later he calls and says that he doesn't feel obligated to pay that money to me.  He says money is being taken out of his paycheck already and if he gives me money out of his pocket it jeopardizes him being able to afford to get the kids this summer.  I politely asked if he could check a paystub and see where the money is going..because it's highly  likely his wages are being garnished by a debt collector.  He quickly changes the subject.  He did send me $175 last week but that's the only money he's sent me since February 15th.  He even called me at the end of March and asked me to give him $300 for his car payment!  I called the Kansas Payment Center (that's where the child support payments go to get processed and sent out) and they said that the income withholding sheet takes 6-8 weeks to process but in the meantime he is obligated to pay me my monthly support.  He currently owes me close to $1200..I haven't told him yet what's going on because he called me yesterday to let me know his Aunt is in the hospital about to die from cancer...I'm not that rude to throw this at him on top of that.  But on the otherhand I move next week and I need money.  I know he's gonna throw in my face if he gives me money it jeopardizes him being able to afford to get the kids next month BUT that's not my problem.  His own son has only talked to him twice in the 10 months he's been gone,and was in tears when I told him he couldn't play ball this summer because he had to go to his dad's.  The only one that even acted like he wanted to go was my oldest son who I don't even have to send out there.  He never adopted him while we were married like he said he wanted,and he has no legal obligation to him at all. He's going on 3 weeks of not wanting to talk to him now.  The third child,our 2 year old daughter only tells him how nice I am and how much she loves me.  I just don't even know what to do about the whole fit he's gonna throw over the money and all that.

by on May. 9, 2013 at 10:22 AM
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Replies (1-3):
amonkeymom
by Gold Member on May. 9, 2013 at 3:18 PM

Welcome!

You're right, his money woes aren't your concern.  He sounds very immature and selfish.  

Follow through on the support order and get support garnished from his paycheck.  He's just going to have to deal with it.  Otherwise, unless it involves the kids I wouldn't even talk to him.

Cafe AmyS
by Head Admin on May. 9, 2013 at 3:49 PM

welcome  Make yourself at home, we're glad you're here!

oscarsmom70
by New Member on May. 9, 2013 at 6:44 PM

Welcome!  So sad to hear you are facing these challenges . . . sending you encouragement and prayer!

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