Well, I try to be strict with certain rules, but lenient where possible. For instance, a mom once told me, "With all that you have to say 'no' to, say 'yes' where possible." So like, it's a "no" to lying and I'm strict on that, but getting messy or doing something extra special--ok. Have fun, but be a person of character.
In some ways I am strict, and in other ways I am very laid back. I expect my dd to behave in public, even when she was a baby or toddler, acting up in public was a big no-no and she knew it. She's a teen now and I am a little strict about what she wears and who she is with, but not necessarily in a mean, controlling way. But I am very laidback about what she eats, what she watches on tv, what time she goes to sleep, that sort of thing.
I'm in between. Depending on what the circumstances are when my DD acted up. She was always such a good kid. Well behaved and even tempered. I raised my daughter to be respectful of everyone and think about being mean or nasty. If she wanted them to treat her that way. To say 'Yes M'am' and 'Yes Sir' to eldery. To ask to be excused from the table. To never say 'No' to me when I ask her to help me or pick-up her room. That when I said 'No' to her that's what I meant. To never sass me if she didn't get her way. My DD is a almost 19. I still worry about how she carries herself and well she handles herself when I'm not around. I tried to be a good influence on her when it came to money and being honest when it came to telling the truth. I'm laidback when it came to her bedtime and what time she had to be home on a school night and on the weekends. I really didn't have to worry about her when she was an adolescent because she learned from an early age to behave.
I'd like to think I'm somewhere in the middle. My kids will tell you that I'm strict (my oldest would have said the same thing when he was at home but now that he's an adult he'd be the first to tell you I'm probably not strict enough, lol).
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