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New Single Mom of Five

Posted by on May. 12, 2013 at 7:30 PM
  • 10 Replies

Hello, everyone!  I'm a young mother of five, my youngest being 3 months old, and I find myself in a completely unforseen situation...that of being a single mom!

When I was seven months pregnant with my fifth, I discovered that my husband was sexually abusing my oldest child and my world just came crashing down around me.  It was a devestating shock.  My husband was a deeply devout Catholic and a well respected professional.  We had (what I thought) was as close to the ideal life you could have here this side of the veil.  I never had any idea this abuse was happening.

We were married straight out of college (from 2004-2013) and we started our family right away.  I have an ENG degree but no work experience and no idea what working outside of the home even remotely looks like.  The child support we're recieving isn't enough to live on (the jerk!) and we've lost our home.  My aunt and uncle have been kind enough to take us in until the fall.  I'm hundreds of miles away from all of my friends and feel so alone.

We're still very much in the thick of things regarding the legal side of this situation...there's an investigation and I pray they find enough to formal charge the sick sob.

New state, new state in life and I don't even know where to begin to start putting the pieces back together.  Has anyone else ever been through something like this before?  And if so, can you tell me what you did to rise above the ashes?  Any help would be very much appreciated!

Thank you!

by on May. 12, 2013 at 7:30 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Bookoholic
by Bronze Member on May. 12, 2013 at 7:38 PM
I'm sorry your going through this, maybe see if there is something with an entry level in the degree you have. I'm not much more help then that I hope this some how helps.
Myrthfui
by on May. 12, 2013 at 8:55 PM

Thanks, Bookoholic.  Believe me, I would go out and get an entry level position anywhere doing anything tomorrow if it wasn't for the fact that I have three non-school aged children and its almost summer so my 8 and 6 year-old will be home then, too.  Any jobs I would be qualified for at this time given my work experience (or lack thereof) don't pay enough to cover childcare costs for 3+ kids.  I just don't know what to do...

campingmomof4
by on May. 12, 2013 at 9:51 PM

 Look to see if you qualify for daycare assistants  When I first came a single mother.  I had 3 under 6.  The oldest was in 1st grade.   My county had an daycare assistant program.   It is based on income.  Back then I paid $50 a month for 2 full time kids and 1 part time.  The amount that I had to pay did change as I got chlid support and made more money.  It was the only way I coudl have afford to work.  It kept me off welfare. 

Quoting Myrthfui:

Thanks, Bookoholic.  Believe me, I would go out and get an entry level position anywhere doing anything tomorrow if it wasn't for the fact that I have three non-school aged children and its almost summer so my 8 and 6 year-old will be home then, too.  Any jobs I would be qualified for at this time given my work experience (or lack thereof) don't pay enough to cover childcare costs for 3+ kids.  I just don't know what to do...

 

MIMIBRIE
by Jayme on May. 12, 2013 at 11:04 PM
I'm sorry you and your children have had to go though that. While I haven't been in your situation I wish you luck!
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moroccanmommy
by on May. 12, 2013 at 11:07 PM
Is he not in jail? Im so sorry. Unfortutnely this happens alot.
Most people are assulted by a father or male family member. I cant understand it. Im so sorry for your suffering. I know how y feel.
dstarr347
by Member on May. 12, 2013 at 11:47 PM

Hey,

I am a single mom of five as well but my kids are 20,16,15,11,5 years old. I am sorry that you are going through this but you will overcome these trials. hugsYou said that you have an English degree. Have you tried applying for tutoring positions? My best friend has a Master's degree in Rehabilitation Counseling but she graduated in 09 after the economic crash and could not find work in her field. We are in California. She has found work with places contracted by the school districts that offer free tutoring after school for low income students. Also try applying for substitute teaching positions. As far as childcare I would suggest Volunteers of America they are a great resource and can give referrals here is there link : http://www.voa.org/Get-Help/National-Network-of-Service

They can help with employment too. Be blessed!

Danielle

steviechick
by Gold Member on May. 13, 2013 at 9:52 AM

hugsSorry you are going through this.  Here is a hug for you, mama!

LuvMommysBabies
by Bronze Member on May. 13, 2013 at 12:05 PM
Sorry you're going through that. But your children need you and all you can do is be the best mom you can. I am going to be a single mom of 3 once my baby is born in October. I wonder if I can do it all alone, but I love my children and they are my motivation. Good luck.
MommyAJ2921
by on May. 13, 2013 at 12:23 PM

First of all, welcome.

2nd...God bless you and your family. I pray He give you the strength to carry your children through this, your family the wil and the means to help you and your babies an overabundance of love and support.  I pray He also help you all heal from this, forgive your ex thereby enabling you to move on.

So very sorry you've had to go through this. As for rising above the ashes..counseling and prayer...and when you pray..be honest with God about where you are and how you feel. He already knows so its ok to tell Him. Only He will be able to heal you so you can move on. *hugs to you and the babies* Phew...I've been through alot but NEVER anything of this magnitude. God bless you and yours sweetie.

LifeCafe42
by Nora on May. 13, 2013 at 1:29 PM
Welcome I'm glad you found us!
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