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Should I petition for an involuntary termination of his parental rights??

Posted by on May. 13, 2013 at 8:45 AM
  • 7 Replies

My son is 11 years old. His father has been in prison since he was 3. They have communicated throughout the years with a visit here and there. He just recently got out of prison this last August. My son was so happy to have his dad back in his life. HIs dad was then diagnosed with Cancer and was undergoing Chemo, he is fine health wise now after the chemo. I think I should mention we live 2 hours away from each other.

He has not been paying me child support. I think I have goten $60 this year so far. I was going to petition for support but I though t I would give him time to recover from the Cancer.

I called the other day to see if he could send some support, well, his mother answered and says "I have some bad news, he is back in jail".....OMG, I just bursted into tears, my baby just got his dad back and this is happening again?? I find out the reason I have not been getting support is that he has been blowing all of his SSI money on drugs, and his parole officer violated him. So back to prison he goes..I dont know for how long, I dont know much until court in a few weeks.

I have yet to tell my son, I think I want to wait until school is over next month, he has enough on his plate right now I dont want to put this on him too, since he is already struggling in school. And honestly, I am petrified on how he will take the news. So to keep the stress level to a minimum, for now I am making the decision to keep it from him.

I was thinking, he has never been there!  EVER! Would Termination of his rights be beneficial?? Is there really even a reason for me to do it? There is no other man in my life so adoption isnt a thing right now. He has never been a dad, and drugs have always come before our son. Even when I tried to include him in everything, conference calls with the school, calling him when our son was giving me a hard time. I TRIED! But the drugs were just priority.

What do you think??

by on May. 13, 2013 at 8:45 AM
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Replies (1-7):
krisnkids
by Silver Member on May. 13, 2013 at 9:00 AM

In most cases to terminate another parent's rights, someone us must be willing to step up and adopt the child. ie if you are married your husband would adopt him. In some cases where the parent is in prison where no chance of parole the state can also terminate rights.

MommyAJ2921
by on May. 13, 2013 at 9:09 AM

Wow..first off....I know its late but happy mother's day. 2nd...I'm with you on for right now not telling your son. (Praying that when you do, God gives you the words to see and the strength to deal with your son's reaction..praying the reaction isn't too severe)..As for the termination...you say he always put the drugs first..that's his track record....my gut says go with it but I'd pray first and ask God what you should do. In the end you want what is absolutely best for your son.

Robsessed98
by on May. 16, 2013 at 7:42 PM
I agree with not telling ds yet, unless he asks about him. I'm really not sure what you'd be trying to accomplish in termination? If he collects disability and there is a support order in place, ds should be collecting a portion of it.
domsmom1026
by Member on May. 17, 2013 at 8:27 AM

The only way I would petition for this is if he ends up by staying in prison again. Because at that point he would not be getting any benefits, and either would my son. I am just going to wait it out and see what happens. There is not a reason for me to do this as of right now. There is no man in the wings ready to adopt or anything. Thanks for your input ladies!

caramel85
by on May. 19, 2013 at 10:59 AM

 I've thought the same thing in my situation too. But my ex's drugs are called 'video games.'

LifeCafe42
by Nora on May. 19, 2013 at 12:20 PM

I think at this point there is no point in it.  Most states wont do it unless there is sonemoen to adopt your son anyway.

PurpleCupcake
by on May. 19, 2013 at 12:31 PM

I have done this before. In my case it was to prevent him from having access to my child..I already had sole custody. He was not in her life saw her 2 times, in and out if jail, drug user. 

I had papers that he is not allowed to ever pick up my child from school. However he is unpredictable, and I worried he would get high..and attempt something stupid. So I had his rights taken completely away...he is not ever allowed near my child nor can he contact her. Me and her both want it this way and she calls her step dad, dad.

There are only 2 reasons to take away rights...to have your child adopted by a step dad or to prevent something terrible.

You ex is definitely an immature not so great dad...but he has had contact and your child views him as dad. I think it may be difficult for you to have his rights taken away...

Child support has nothing to do with custody. But you really need to have a child support order!! They rarely pay if there is no order (even if they have the money). Don't be a sucker!

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