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Does it make me a bad mom

Posted by on May. 13, 2013 at 4:44 PM
  • 25 Replies
Why is life such a challenge? Why can't it be easy? Its so frustrating to be in a position you can't change anything. I can't change my past so why do I think about my life without my daughter? I feel like a terrible mom to think about my life if I didn't have my daughter. Like would my family be around? Would i have a better life not stressed out. Does anyone ever think about what life would be if their child wasn't born? Does it make me a bad mom? I feel so terrible that I think that. I am under stress of my daily life. I honestly feel like a stinky mom. My daughter has a roof over head and food in her tummy but I still feel like I don't focus on her. I always thought life got easier if kids got older but I was so wrong. It's been so tough raising a kid and doing it all with no help. I have no one to watch my daughter since no one will watch her for me. I am having a hard time lately. Thinking crazy things and I shouldn't. I feel like a bad mommy lately. Do you understand why I would feel that way? Is it crazy? I am so confused why I feel like such a bad mom. Maybe it's what people have told me that's why I think that way? I honestly that's why I think that way.
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by on May. 13, 2013 at 4:44 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Tsmommy106
by Member on May. 13, 2013 at 4:54 PM

 You're not a bad mom, you're stressed. We all get that way sometimes, especailly if things are hard. I'm so glad I have my son but I've thought about how things would have been different. I was going to leave his dad before I found I was preg. Then I tried to make a family work and got married for my son mostly. It all ended badly and 4 years later I still can't get him to sign damn divorce papers. If I hadn't had my son, I could have walked away way sooner. If I didn't have my son I wouldn't be legally married. If I didn't have my son maybe I would have finished school by now, have a better job, found a better man,........ the list of what if's could go on  and on. But I do have my son, I did marry his dad, and I am finishing school. I will get a good job soon and I will make the best life for my son. I know the next couple years till I'm done with school is going to be hard. I'm leaving the guy I'm dating and living with now and will prob end up in a one bedroom apt with me, my son, our dog and 2 guinea pigs and all his "guilt toys" his daddy keep buying him. But I'll make it through that and be able to provide for my son on my own, buy a house on my own and won't need to rely on deadbeats that can't pay their damn bills or take care of their kids. I will do for me.

Keep your head up!!! and any one that tells you you're a bad mom, tell them to f*** off!!!

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erinmomofone
by on May. 13, 2013 at 5:09 PM
Thanks for your encouraging words. Good luck :).


Quoting Tsmommy106:

 You're not a bad mom, you're stressed. We all get that way sometimes, especailly if things are hard. I'm so glad I have my son but I've thought about how things would have been different. I was going to leave his dad before I found I was preg. Then I tried to make a family work and got married for my son mostly. It all ended badly and 4 years later I still can't get him to sign damn divorce papers. If I hadn't had my son, I could have walked away way sooner. If I didn't have my son I wouldn't be legally married. If I didn't have my son maybe I would have finished school by now, have a better job, found a better man,........ the list of what if's could go on  and on. But I do have my son, I did marry his dad, and I am finishing school. I will get a good job soon and I will make the best life for my son. I know the next couple years till I'm done with school is going to be hard. I'm leaving the guy I'm dating and living with now and will prob end up in a one bedroom apt with me, my son, our dog and 2 guinea pigs and all his "guilt toys" his daddy keep buying him. But I'll make it through that and be able to provide for my son on my own, buy a house on my own and won't need to rely on deadbeats that can't pay their damn bills or take care of their kids. I will do for me.


Keep your head up!!! and any one that tells you you're a bad mom, tell them to f*** off!!!


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MandaMom23
by Bronze Member on May. 13, 2013 at 5:11 PM

 Good luck to you!  Keep a positive outlook and do what is best for you and your son.

Quoting Tsmommy106:

 You're not a bad mom, you're stressed. We all get that way sometimes, especailly if things are hard. I'm so glad I have my son but I've thought about how things would have been different. I was going to leave his dad before I found I was preg. Then I tried to make a family work and got married for my son mostly. It all ended badly and 4 years later I still can't get him to sign damn divorce papers. If I hadn't had my son, I could have walked away way sooner. If I didn't have my son I wouldn't be legally married. If I didn't have my son maybe I would have finished school by now, have a better job, found a better man,........ the list of what if's could go on  and on. But I do have my son, I did marry his dad, and I am finishing school. I will get a good job soon and I will make the best life for my son. I know the next couple years till I'm done with school is going to be hard. I'm leaving the guy I'm dating and living with now and will prob end up in a one bedroom apt with me, my son, our dog and 2 guinea pigs and all his "guilt toys" his daddy keep buying him. But I'll make it through that and be able to provide for my son on my own, buy a house on my own and won't need to rely on deadbeats that can't pay their damn bills or take care of their kids. I will do for me.

Keep your head up!!! and any one that tells you you're a bad mom, tell them to f*** off!!!

 

steviechick
by on May. 14, 2013 at 11:36 AM

You make your life either happy or miserable.   And, not everything that happens to you is your fault.  You had a life with another man but that didn't work out.  You are strong AND a GOOD mom to your kids.  You need to keep telling yourself this.  It's up to you to make positives in your life or allow negatives to creep up into your life.  Not every relationship was meant to be.  I think we all are all better off without the garbage we had to put up with.  Relationships end based on just not finding the right person.  I have learned to accept this.  I never allowed myself to be negative or blame myself for the bad choices I made in choosing a father for my daughter.  He chose to become a scumbag and louse.  I'm going to continue to think positive and be happy about the life I have ahead of me.  I know I'm much better off without being constantly miserable had I still been married to my ex.  He proved to me what a total piece of crap he truly is.  I've rised above it and continue to be a good, strong, happy and mom to my daughter.   You can, too.

Kazmira222
by Bronze Member on May. 14, 2013 at 11:42 AM
I've thought that way too. But quite frankly my life wasn't really going anywhere or doing anything. So having a child is keepin me on my toes. I do wish sometimes tho that I could've had him later on in life. But it is what it is now. And I wouldn't change it for the world. I live at home tho as my parents help me. I don't really have to worry about his expenses. I have nobody to watch him so I usually take him out with me when I've been too home bound.
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erinmomofone
by on May. 14, 2013 at 2:59 PM
I try to stay positive but being under stress it's not easy.


Quoting steviechick:

You make your life either happy or miserable.   And, not everything that happens to you is your fault.  You had a life with another man but that didn't work out.  You are strong AND a GOOD mom to your kids.  You need to keep telling yourself this.  It's up to you to make positives in your life or allow negatives to creep up into your life.  Not every relationship was meant to be.  I think we all are all better off without the garbage we had to put up with.  Relationships end based on just not finding the right person.  I have learned to accept this.  I never allowed myself to be negative or blame myself for the bad choices I made in choosing a father for my daughter.  He chose to become a scumbag and louse.  I'm going to continue to think positive and be happy about the life I have ahead of me.  I know I'm much better off without being constantly miserable had I still been married to my ex.  He proved to me what a total piece of crap he truly is.  I've rised above it and continue to be a good, strong, happy and mom to my daughter.   You can, too.


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erinmomofone
by on May. 14, 2013 at 3:00 PM
I love my daughter and do anything for her. That's good you have family I don't. I work at her daycare with her then go home it's not always easy


Quoting Kazmira222:

I've thought that way too. But quite frankly my life wasn't really going anywhere or doing anything. So having a child is keepin me on my toes. I do wish sometimes tho that I could've had him later on in life. But it is what it is now. And I wouldn't change it for the world. I live at home tho as my parents help me. I don't really have to worry about his expenses. I have nobody to watch him so I usually take him out with me when I've been too home bound.

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mz23
by Bronze Member on May. 14, 2013 at 4:57 PM
Quoting steviechick:

You make your life either happy or miserable.   And, not everything that happens to you is your fault.  You had a life with another man but that didn't work out.  You are strong AND a GOOD mom to your kids.  You need to keep telling yourself this.  It's up to you to make positives in your life or allow negatives to creep up into your life.  Not every relationship was meant to be.  I think we all are all better off without the garbage we had to put up with.  Relationships end based on just not finding the right person.  I have learned to accept this.  I never allowed myself to be negative or blame myself for the bad choices I made in choosing a father for my daughter.  He chose to become a scumbag and louse.  I'm going to continue to think positive and be happy about the life I have ahead of me.  I know I'm much better off without being constantly miserable had I still been married to my ex.  He proved to me what a total piece of crap he truly is.  I've rised above it and continue to be a good, strong, happy and mom to my daughter.   You can, too.




I Can relate to op in some ways.,things seem to never work out for me, lately anyways no matter how hard I try. But I know when one thing goes wrong, I usually act like my whole life is ruined and it really feels like it. When your a single mom with no hope EVERYTHING falls on you. And your child looks up,to you for everything its a lot of pressure and scary.,I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. I don't wish I didn't have my dd just wish her dad was different and I was with him. And finished with school *sigh*
PeaceLoveZ
by Member on May. 14, 2013 at 5:00 PM

 I think everyone has the what ifs. I don't think that makes you a bad mom or person. I myself wonder what my life would be like if I didn't have my son. I can't imagine my life without him and when I try to think of it, I come up blank, although I know I'd have more money! lol

Robsessed98
by on May. 14, 2013 at 5:25 PM
Your child has its needs met, is being cared for and is obviously loved, so you aren't a bad mom. It's normal to feel like no matter what you do for them its never enough. My girls are grown and I still feel that way and it extends to my grandsons too. We want our kids to have perfect lives, but it's never gonna happen. It's also perfectly normal to wonder how life would be without them. Don't stress over it, just do your best and give yourself a break.
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