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This is about to get real confusing! Need help and advice!!!

Posted by on May. 15, 2013 at 6:58 AM
  • 79 Replies

 Ok so I was a wild child, finished high school at age 16. Started college, had a job, and a boyfriend. I did whatever I wanted, not because my parents let me but because they had no say over me anymore! So I bullied my mom into letting me marry this guy when I was 17. He was in the military and had a great job and I might add my husband is white (it will matter, you will see). So she agreed, behind my dads back I might add. Well I cheated.....like the first night we were married. (awful huh?!) Anywho....I got prego a monthafter, withmy "boyfriend" (who is black....) withmy daughter. I was living with him, he turned out to be the biggest...ugh well we wont go there, lets just say he has not been around! Ever!! So here I am prego witha baby, their dad is being stupid so I decided it would be better for me and my daughter to get back with my husband. Well he tookme back withone condition, he didn't want my daughter. Here I am 17, a month from being 18. 2 months from having my daughter. Everyone telling me I couldn't support her, but if I gave her to my parents (who has wanted children so badly but I was the one and only) my husband would pay "child support" for her and she would be taken care of. Well ok, I agreed. Then I had her.....let my parents take her then BAMit hit, I WANT MY DAUGHTER! So I told him I wanted her and after some arguments, I had her back. Well he bugged me (don't ask, I never really liked him and felt like I had to stay with him for the money and my kids life) and I choose to move home 6 hours away from him. Well he is in the military likeIsaid so he has to pay spousal support and child support each month and I was able to make ends meet. So yea everything is going ok, then my dumb butt decided I want to see babydaddy...one thing leds to another and bam pregoagain. Well he is still acting the same way, and my mom tells me the smart thing to do is get back with my husband. Ok well, thats what I did (AGAIN) and  had my son 3 months after my 19th birthday. Yea well he bugs me again. Told him I am done for good. Well I met this really great guy, know him for going on a year. Well I moved out and my parents told me if would be smart to leave my kids there untilI could get on my feet. So I did, when then when I wanted to take my kids withme, my mom would come up with an excuse as to why not. Well I started to see my kids more and more and my mom got more and more upset! I was the one who bought clothes for them, I was the one who bought diapers for them. I took them to parks, to church, to dr appts! I didn't live in the house but was very much apart of my childrenslives. Well my mom starts sleeping with my husband (no joke! who does that) takes my kids 6 hours away and through 3 different states to my husbands (he is the legal father fyiand baby daddy has had no rights from day 1) to live withhim. Well I tell them both I want my kids back, I was told no. Its been 15 as of today I have not been able to even get info about my kids. I am so broke I can't afford a lawyer. I don't understand how someone can take someone elses children, yes you may be the legal father, but for god's sake their mixed babies! Its clear as day their not yours!!!!!!!!! If I took him to court could I win custody? Yes in a way I wasn't there but that was because everyone made me feel like I could take care of them. Then wouldn't let me try! I want to go for full custody, just because I can't drive 6 hours every week to exchange the kids. Thats over 300 miles. I just can't afford that. I have been a full time student, taking the summer off. I have no job. My family has offered to pay for a custody battle, I just don't know how I will fair. Any advice or help?

 

 

 

 

This last picture was taken by me when I took them to the park, two days before she took them.

There is no custody arraignment, honestly never thought he would want to take kids that aren't his! So I can't say their kidnapped. I don't know what to do. I want my kids, to belong with me and deseve a great mother. I just want them back.

by on May. 15, 2013 at 6:58 AM
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Replies (1-10):
omm76002
by on May. 15, 2013 at 7:00 AM

 bump

mommy_2_be_2010
by Silver Member on May. 15, 2013 at 7:09 AM
2 moms liked this
Uh yea that is kidnapping imo YOU are their MOTHER your mom and husband have 0 rights to those kids you should have filed for divorce in between your daughter and son
kidlover2
by on May. 15, 2013 at 7:24 AM
8 moms liked this
This whole situation screams selfishness on everyone's level. You all need to stop being vindictive and self centered and think about what is best for the kids. If you truly think your kids are better off with you, than prove it. Do what's right. Get a job, contact a lawyer. Start being proactive and prove to the judge and your kids that you are doing what is best for them, not just for you.
steviechick
by Gold Member on May. 15, 2013 at 9:41 AM
1 mom liked this

This and I also want to add that STOP doing this to yourself.   


Quoting kidlover2:

This whole situation screams selfishness on everyone's level. You all need to stop being vindictive and self centered and think about what is best for the kids. If you truly think your kids are better off with you, than prove it. Do what's right. Get a job, contact a lawyer. Start being proactive and prove to the judge and your kids that you are doing what is best for them, not just for you.


 

krisnkids
by Gold Member on May. 15, 2013 at 10:11 AM
4 moms liked this

Legally, those kids are your husband's and yours. So he has just as much right to them as you do. Any child born in wedlock or within (depending on the state) a certain amount of time of the divorce or separation, is legally the husband's in the marriage. It does not matter that they are mixed, nor does it matter that they are obviously someone else's. To change that the legal dad or sperm donor would have to challenge it in court. Or you can do so in court.

Would you win custody if you took them to court? Possibly but he has status quo on his side along with your poor judgement.

campingmomof4
by on May. 15, 2013 at 1:04 PM
1 mom liked this

 Go see Legal Aid. 

Robsessed98
by on May. 15, 2013 at 1:14 PM
This. I want to say more, but its best I leave it at that.

Quoting steviechick:

This and I also want to add that STOP doing this to yourself.   




Quoting kidlover2:

This whole situation screams selfishness on everyone's level. You all need to stop being vindictive and self centered and think about what is best for the kids. If you truly think your kids are better off with you, than prove it. Do what's right. Get a job, contact a lawyer. Start being proactive and prove to the judge and your kids that you are doing what is best for them, not just for you.



 

jenmomx3
by on May. 15, 2013 at 1:28 PM

The leve of dysfunction is amazing.  You ALL need to have several seats.....If  you want custody of your children, you would need to file for an emergency order of protection.  I don't think that you having them would be the best option though...you don't have any way to support them.  I would suggest, trying to patch things up and build a relationship with your mom to where they feel comfortable letting you be around the kids...move closer to them....do whatever you have to. 

I guess your mom knows a good man when she sees one....your husband took you back after you had 2 kids from cheating...smh....he definitely deserved better, and then is providing a life for those two kids without you??!!  You picked a good one...

omm76002
by on May. 16, 2013 at 2:51 AM
That won't happen. And I can't move closer, I just got a part-time job and my own house here! I have a really good support system here now. My problem is my husband has ptsd (being a deployed soldier and all...) and sleeps with a gun, loaded, under his pillow every night. That scares me that my kids are there. Around that....! He also has a roommate who the army thinks he is on drugs because he acts like he is smoking his brain cells away all the time and that is around my kids too! Even if I couldn't get them back I would rather they go back to my dads away from my husband who is unstable.
Quoting jenmomx3:

The leve of dysfunction is amazing.  You ALL need to have several seats.....If  you want custody of your children, you would need to file for an emergency order of protection.  I don't think that you having them would be the best option though...you don't have any way to support them.  I would suggest, trying to patch things up and build a relationship with your mom to where they feel comfortable letting you be around the kids...move closer to them....do whatever you have to. 

I guess your mom knows a good man when she sees one....your husband took you back after you had 2 kids from cheating...smh....he definitely deserved better, and then is providing a life for those two kids without you??!!  You picked a good one...

omm76002
by on May. 16, 2013 at 2:57 AM

I have a job....its just not much! And with school in the mix I can't add more. And I have contacted a lawyers....its way more than I can come up with. My husband has said over and over how he hated my kids and they were bastards. Then takes them....! I would be afraid if a judge really gave my kids to someone who has ptsd and beat his wife (me) a few months ago, said he wanted to kill me, and broke my nose. He went to jail but got out of assult of a female some how. (I forgot to add that part in the op)

Quoting kidlover2:

This whole situation screams selfishness on everyone's level. You all need to stop being vindictive and self centered and think about what is best for the kids. If you truly think your kids are better off with you, than prove it. Do what's right. Get a job, contact a lawyer. Start being proactive and prove to the judge and your kids that you are doing what is best for them, not just for you.


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