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This is about to get real confusing! Need help and advice!!!

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 Ok so I was a wild child, finished high school at age 16. Started college, had a job, and a boyfriend. I did whatever I wanted, not because my parents let me but because they had no say over me anymore! So I bullied my mom into letting me marry this guy when I was 17. He was in the military and had a great job and I might add my husband is white (it will matter, you will see). So she agreed, behind my dads back I might add. Well I cheated.....like the first night we were married. (awful huh?!) Anywho....I got prego a monthafter, withmy "boyfriend" (who is black....) withmy daughter. I was living with him, he turned out to be the biggest...ugh well we wont go there, lets just say he has not been around! Ever!! So here I am prego witha baby, their dad is being stupid so I decided it would be better for me and my daughter to get back with my husband. Well he tookme back withone condition, he didn't want my daughter. Here I am 17, a month from being 18. 2 months from having my daughter. Everyone telling me I couldn't support her, but if I gave her to my parents (who has wanted children so badly but I was the one and only) my husband would pay "child support" for her and she would be taken care of. Well ok, I agreed. Then I had her.....let my parents take her then BAMit hit, I WANT MY DAUGHTER! So I told him I wanted her and after some arguments, I had her back. Well he bugged me (don't ask, I never really liked him and felt like I had to stay with him for the money and my kids life) and I choose to move home 6 hours away from him. Well he is in the military likeIsaid so he has to pay spousal support and child support each month and I was able to make ends meet. So yea everything is going ok, then my dumb butt decided I want to see babydaddy...one thing leds to another and bam pregoagain. Well he is still acting the same way, and my mom tells me the smart thing to do is get back with my husband. Ok well, thats what I did (AGAIN) and  had my son 3 months after my 19th birthday. Yea well he bugs me again. Told him I am done for good. Well I met this really great guy, know him for going on a year. Well I moved out and my parents told me if would be smart to leave my kids there untilI could get on my feet. So I did, when then when I wanted to take my kids withme, my mom would come up with an excuse as to why not. Well I started to see my kids more and more and my mom got more and more upset! I was the one who bought clothes for them, I was the one who bought diapers for them. I took them to parks, to church, to dr appts! I didn't live in the house but was very much apart of my childrenslives. Well my mom starts sleeping with my husband (no joke! who does that) takes my kids 6 hours away and through 3 different states to my husbands (he is the legal father fyiand baby daddy has had no rights from day 1) to live withhim. Well I tell them both I want my kids back, I was told no. Its been 15 as of today I have not been able to even get info about my kids. I am so broke I can't afford a lawyer. I don't understand how someone can take someone elses children, yes you may be the legal father, but for god's sake their mixed babies! Its clear as day their not yours!!!!!!!!! If I took him to court could I win custody? Yes in a way I wasn't there but that was because everyone made me feel like I could take care of them. Then wouldn't let me try! I want to go for full custody, just because I can't drive 6 hours every week to exchange the kids. Thats over 300 miles. I just can't afford that. I have been a full time student, taking the summer off. I have no job. My family has offered to pay for a custody battle, I just don't know how I will fair. Any advice or help?

 

 

 

 

This last picture was taken by me when I took them to the park, two days before she took them.

There is no custody arraignment, honestly never thought he would want to take kids that aren't his! So I can't say their kidnapped. I don't know what to do. I want my kids, to belong with me and deseve a great mother. I just want them back.

by on May. 15, 2013 at 6:58 AM
Replies (71-79):
omm76002
by on May. 21, 2013 at 4:26 AM
"After the Affidavit Of Parentage is signed by both parents, the name of the child's father is entered on the birth certificate, it has the same effect as a judgment of paternity for the purpose of establishing a child support obligation." This is also what the laywer said today. Like I said, I know my state and the laws here. He will forever be the father even thought he isn't really. He will never be able to take his name off. And I had my kids one a military base, a dna test was the FIRST things asked. Once he signed that paper and the woman came in a stamped it and witnessed it is was legal and binding. My kids also have his last name.
Quoting kitty8199:

He can always request a DNA test. It can be 17 years down the road. There's no law saying he can't. If your paternity affidavits look like ours, it says signing knowing you're not the father is a crime.
But why did he sign that when you're married? That's only offered to unwed parents as a stairstep to legitimation. I've never heard of a hospital offering a DNA test. Especially not to a husband.

And he can "know" all he wants but th the eyes of the law knowing is a DNA test. That actual proof. He's not locked in for life. They're not his kids


Quoting omm76002:

Yea...he "knows" especially when he was in a different county both times my kids were conceived. He signed an affidavit of paternity, he can not request a dna test now. In the hospital they asked both times if he wanted a dna test he said no, and signed the form. He is locked in the rest of his life. Plain and simple.

Quoting kitty8199:

Right, so he still doesn't "know" they're NOT his. He's still under the assumption they are.
With DNA he will "know", starting the two years time stamp.
Quoting omm76002:

Wrong he signed an affidavit of paternity says there was no need for the dna test. He will never get out of that. Also he himself says their not his but would never allow me to talk/see the kids actual daddy. He said he didn't want him involved at all.

Quoting kitty8199:

He doesn't "know" in the eyes of the law until there's a dna test. So there would be two years from the dna test.



Quoting omm76002:

You have a 2 year time limit here. If you know the child is yours, which is true in my case, and you choose not to act the child will remain yours. So my daughter will always have my husband on her birth cert. my son is a different story.

Quoting kitty8199:

Maybe that's another state based thing.


I know the opposite. Guy released from child support bc it wasn't his kid.






Quoting conniejo75:

Yes they will. I know men that have had to pay child support for chikdren that were not biologically their child for this very reason. When legally married the child is automatically the husband's










Quoting kitty8199:

From what I understand DNA can remove him if it's being requested, in a situation like this.




Even without another. This isn't about termination of rights, this is saying he never had them to begin with.




Courts aren't going to force a man to be responsible for kids that are not his biologically.










Quoting conniejo75:

Thet were legally married when children were conceived and born. He is legally the father even if DNA proves otherwise. Unless bio dad steps up and goes to court to prove he is Dad. The courts will not remove a father without another father in his place.














Quoting kitty8199:

All you'd have to do in court is s say they're not his. DNA test will prove it, and he will no longer be the legal father.









omm76002
by on May. 21, 2013 at 4:34 AM
He did have to sign one. I couldn't remember the exact term for it so I looked it up and this is what was said. "HOSPITAL AFFIDAVITS: You may complete a paternity affidavit provided by the State Department of Health within 72 hours (3 days) of the birth of the child. This must be signed by both the mother and the father. The paternity affidavit form, along with a verbal explanation of the legal effects of the document, will be provided to the mother and father by hospital staff at the same time that the birth certificate is completed." The hospital knew he was not the bio father, from the get go. Our case was handled differently there. I was asked who the real father was and I refused to say. Still to this day I have told one one like that who their dad is. He is their dad on paper and thats the way I will keep it.
Quoting krisnkids:

Okay, the one I wanted to quote was just way too long.

Well caught Kitty, you don't sign an affadavit of paternity if you are married. Hell, husband doesn't even have to be there to be named on the BC when the child is born, if mom is married, husband is assumed to be the father.

Snifff Snifff Sniff....

krisnkids
by Gold Member on May. 21, 2013 at 8:45 AM

Wow, so you and your husband both lied by signing the affadavit, you lied to the hospital, you snuck behind your dad's back to marry your husband, you snuck behind your husband's back for a fling x2, and your mom snuck away with your kids. The three of you are made for eachother, however the problem is that two innocent children are stuck with the three of you.

I pray that one day your husband wakes up and challenges the paternity and is no longer liable for your screwing around. That or that you are just making all this up for the attention. I feel for those kids and whomever ends up raising them, if it's you then I hope that you will stop relying on a man to support you and learn to take care of yourself and your children. They must come first, not whomever your bedmate is.

kitty8199
by on May. 21, 2013 at 9:19 AM
You don't sign that if you're married. I don't care what state you're in.
That document is specifically for unwed parents. It even says it ON the paperwork. Signing it falsely is a crime. Punishable by prison. Calling bullshit the hospital knew and had you sign.

You don't sign married. Period. You're already legal if you're married.
I call bullshit on the dna being the first thing they ask in aa military hospital, too.
I have my reasons, that I'll keep to myself and watch your dig deeper


Quoting omm76002:

He did have to sign one. I couldn't remember the exact term for it so I looked it up and this is what was said. "HOSPITAL AFFIDAVITS: You may complete a paternity affidavit provided by the State Department of Health within 72 hours (3 days) of the birth of the child. This must be signed by both the mother and the father. The paternity affidavit form, along with a verbal explanation of the legal effects of the document, will be provided to the mother and father by hospital staff at the same time that the birth certificate is completed." The hospital knew he was not the bio father, from the get go. Our case was handled differently there. I was asked who the real father was and I refused to say. Still to this day I have told one one like that who their dad is. He is their dad on paper and thats the way I will keep it.
Quoting krisnkids:

Okay, the one I wanted to quote was just way too long.


Well caught Kitty, you don't sign an affadavit of paternity if you are married. Hell, husband doesn't even have to be there to be named on the BC when the child is born, if mom is married, husband is assumed to be the father.


Snifff Snifff Sniff....

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
kitty8199
by on May. 21, 2013 at 9:24 AM
None of this sounds right. Especially the military aspect.
I caught one and she had yet to respond.
About the housing and gun situation.


Quoting krisnkids:

Okay, the one I wanted to quote was just way too long.


Well caught Kitty, you don't sign an affadavit of paternity if you are married. Hell, husband doesn't even have to be there to be named on the BC when the child is born, if mom is married, husband is assumed to be the father.


Snifff Snifff Sniff....

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
krisnkids
by Gold Member on May. 21, 2013 at 9:27 AM

 Yeah, I call turd. Thankfully there is more to worry about than people like this.


Quoting kitty8199:

None of this sounds right. Especially the military aspect.
I caught one and she had yet to respond.
About the housing and gun situation.


Quoting krisnkids:

Okay, the one I wanted to quote was just way too long.


Well caught Kitty, you don't sign an affadavit of paternity if you are married. Hell, husband doesn't even have to be there to be named on the BC when the child is born, if mom is married, husband is assumed to be the father.


Snifff Snifff Sniff....


 

kitty8199
by on May. 21, 2013 at 9:31 AM
Yeah. I know.

Quoting krisnkids:

 Yeah, I call turd. Thankfully there is more to worry about than people like this.




Quoting kitty8199:

None of this sounds right. Especially the military aspect.
I caught one and she had yet to respond.
About the housing and gun situation.



Quoting krisnkids:


Okay, the one I wanted to quote was just way too long.



Well caught Kitty, you don't sign an affadavit of paternity if you are married. Hell, husband doesn't even have to be there to be named on the BC when the child is born, if mom is married, husband is assumed to be the father.



Snifff Snifff Sniff....




 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
newlife2013
by on May. 21, 2013 at 10:23 PM
So much going on!! You have to plan for your life and pursue higher goals in order to bring these children back in your life, and once there, they need peace and stability, that should be everyone's concern. Best if luck
JoyfulMemories
by on May. 22, 2013 at 9:42 AM

Wow, sounds like a heavy load. Know that I'll be praying for your situation.  May God provide you clarity and wisdom and protection for your children.

group hug

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