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Yelling at my daughter from lack of sleep :(

Posted by on May. 15, 2013 at 8:45 AM
  • 12 Replies

Morning..morning...

My daughter is a little over 8 months and she has been waking up regularly for the past week. I'm not sure if it is a growth spurt, overstimulation, or the process of her growing, but I'm so frustrated!

The problem is, I'm so tired....so exhausted...so exasperated AND I live on my own so I have no one to help me and I'm literally YELLING at her to go back to sleep. Which actually is funny, because when I do she DOES! If I don't yell, she stays up and giggles and coo's. I love my daughter VERY much and please don't say anything mean to me because I'm trying my hardest. (So if you have negative comments, I'm so sleep deprived right now... I'll probably snap at you too!!...so keep them to yourself!) All I really need to hear is some positive suggestions or ideas?

I know its hard to say things to people without hurting their feelings, but honestly....all Mother's have been there and I just need a place to vent and have people show me some respect :)

 

LOL! Also, since I work in a school system I am CONSTANTLY around children and even my poor students are hearing the wrath of my frustration. I don't actually yell at them because well....I don't, but I have had a thin ice type of attitude this week :(

 

HELP!!!

by on May. 15, 2013 at 8:45 AM
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Replies (1-10):
steviechick
by Gold Member on May. 15, 2013 at 11:27 AM
1 mom liked this

You need to come home and take a few bubble baths during the week.  Try looking into yoga.  You have a lot of inward issues to deal with.  You might even want to talk to another teacher for advice.  When you start to go off on your baby, just walk away and let her fuss or cry.  You need to take a breather for about 10 mins when you start to feel frustrated. 

Robsessed98
by on May. 15, 2013 at 11:36 AM
1 mom liked this
Yes, we've all been there. Before yelling, try the old deep breath count to ten routine. If that doesn't work, leave the room for a few. Meditation worked great for me. Just hang in, things will get better and you will get rest again.
heretolisten
by Bronze Member on May. 15, 2013 at 11:58 AM
1 mom liked this

Try to get more sleep.  I know it's hard, but if you are able to work outside the home and baby is with a caretaker, perhaps postpone a pick up one or two days to get in a nap after work to regenerate. The only real thing that's going to help is more sleep.  Sleep deprivation is awful on rationale and mood.  And no .. you're not alone.  I've been there myself and still have my moments.  Keep in mind, your baby may not desire to "miss out" on "mommy time" since you're not home with her all the time so she staves off sleeping herself.  When you yell, you're no longer presenting that nurturing "fun, comforting" mommy side that she was looking forward to, so she gives in to her fatigue and sleeps because she is experiencing a side of you she would rather not be with.  Does that make sense?  Believe me, I'm not in any way trying to offend you ... I've been in your shoes and am merely sharing what I have come to theorize with my own son when I find myself raising my voice out of sleep deprived frustration.  

KrEnChIk21
by on May. 15, 2013 at 2:17 PM

 

No! I totally understand what you mean. I keep forgetting its not just me, its her as well. I really work hard not to get upset and in actuality (is that a word??) Monday night was worse than last night. Last night I only yelled once opposed to Monday night I was conistently yelling.

I do honestly have a lot of inward issues to work on. I see a therapist twice a month and a psychiatrist once a month. Plus I'm on three different mood stabilizers and OCD prescriptions to work on my negative habits. Its really hard to do, but I seriously am trying and I'm doing my best to get better. I feel guilty all the time still, but I really am trying!! I'm not going to give up on being a better person for my daughter and myself. She is my world and I have to try if I want to be a good parent. :) Thank-you for your advice! It seems you've shared my frustration and deprivation. :)

Quoting heretolisten:

Try to get more sleep.  I know it's hard, but if you are able to work outside the home and baby is with a caretaker, perhaps postpone a pick up one or two days to get in a nap after work to regenerate. The only real thing that's going to help is more sleep.  Sleep deprivation is awful on rationale and mood.  And no .. you're not alone.  I've been there myself and still have my moments.  Keep in mind, your baby may not desire to "miss out" on "mommy time" since you're not home with her all the time so she staves off sleeping herself.  When you yell, you're no longer presenting that nurturing "fun, comforting" mommy side that she was looking forward to, so she gives in to her fatigue and sleeps because she is experiencing a side of you she would rather not be with.  Does that make sense?  Believe me, I'm not in any way trying to offend you ... I've been in your shoes and am merely sharing what I have come to theorize with my own son when I find myself raising my voice out of sleep deprived frustration.  


 

AdriMommy89
by on May. 15, 2013 at 7:38 PM
I always have to walk away first just to calm down and then thats when I say something to my daughter. Don't go in there angry and say something you can't take back!
myamommy
by on May. 16, 2013 at 12:49 AM
1 mom liked this

Hello I am going through the same exact thing. My daughter just turned 8 months on the 8th. I noticed a change in her sleeping she wakes up often during the night. I am beyond frustrated I feel like by the time I finally get to sleep good it's time to wake up and do it all over again. Btw I also have a 2yr old who barely sleeps either as I'm writing this at 12:43 am. I am on the floor on my ipad in the dark in my room and he is standing in front of me. Lol I hear my baby waking up also. I don't no about your baby but I think mine is teething. I try to tell myself this is only for a short time then they will be all grown up and won't need us anymore. Stay positive and know You are not alone I am up crying with you  your baby and my baby lol.

KrEnChIk21
by on May. 16, 2013 at 8:28 AM

 

Wow! You really are sharing this frustration with me. It seems you have more of a hard time with two children instead of one.

Every night I know I'll be waking up, but I'm so tired- I fall asleep fast! I hope you are able to get some sleep as well. :) It's hard, but last night when she woke up- I just calmly took care of her, fed her, and rocked her to sleep. It will get better... it will get better. Thats what I tell myself.

Quoting myamommy:

Hello I am going through the same exact thing. My daughter just turned 8 months on the 8th. I noticed a change in her sleeping she wakes up often during the night. I am beyond frustrated I feel like by the time I finally get to sleep good it's time to wake up and do it all over again. Btw I also have a 2yr old who barely sleeps either as I'm writing this at 12:43 am. I am on the floor on my ipad in the dark in my room and he is standing in front of me. Lol I hear my baby waking up also. I don't no about your baby but I think mine is teething. I try to tell myself this is only for a short time then they will be all grown up and won't need us anymore. Stay positive and know You are not alone I am up crying with you  your baby and my baby lol.


 

LifeCafe42
by Nora on May. 16, 2013 at 9:15 AM
1 mom liked this
I think we've all done it good luck!
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massconfusion14
by on May. 16, 2013 at 10:10 AM
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I did that a few times when my dd was about that old.. she didn’t sleep through the night until she was 10 months old and I live alone as well. Some nights I would be ok with waking up but those nights she wouldn’t go back to sleep, I would get frusterated. I only yelled like twice and I felt so bad after that all I could do is hold her and cry and say I was sorry for yelling because it’s not her fault and she didn’t deserve it. I’m not trying to make you feel bad, I’m just trying to say that I get it. What I started doing is that on those nights when she just wouldn’t go back to sleep, I would bring her in my bed and turn on Mickey and go to sleep while she watched Mickey. We still do that some times, but most nights she sleeps all night long and in her own bed. (Just saying that because I know some mothers will read that I brought her in to watch Mickey and say that will start a bad habit….. and it didn’t!)

cristalf060812
by on May. 16, 2013 at 10:30 AM
I know how u feel my thinnest is 7 months old and although I live with my so I still do it all alone.. O and I'm going to 25 weeks pregnant this week... just remember it does get easier just take out one day at a time.. I lay all 3 of boys down at 730 for bed they are usually asleep by 8 but we have those nights where they or one of them want to stay up.. I usually get to sleep around 10 but have trouble staying asleep then baby wakes up.. I try my best not to get moody but I'm so exhausted I end up yelling at my 2 oldest who are 5 and soon to be 7.. I apologize and explain I didn't get much sleep.. They seem to understand.. During the day the boys are a big help.. U need to try an take naps when ur baby does or see if u can get subwoofer to watch baby for few hrs while u nap hang in there
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