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Moving

Posted by on May. 15, 2013 at 5:51 PM
  • 5 Replies

I am in a dilemma.  My mom passed away last May. She was the reason I move to this small town, and now that she is gone, I feel lost and alone. Even though I have two sisters and a brother who live nearby, I still feel lost and alone because they are all married with chidren and have their own lives to live. Sometimes I feel I am just a burden to them whenever I ask for help. It seems like they try to avoid me sometimes. I am thinking of moving back to the bigger city where I came from (I have another sister and brother there, as well as my former friends who are prodding me to move back); however, I don't have a job lined up. That's not a HUGE issue for me, though, because I do get survivor benefits from the death of my husband, which is a steady income. Still the idea of selling my home here and moving to another place is VERY scary.

I don't know how all this selling and buying works as I've never sold a home on my own before. I bought this house on my own in 2009, and even then, I was nervous the whole time. How does it work? I mean, will I make enough money on the sale of my home to be able to afford a moving company and possibly a down payment on another home? Obvsiously, I cannot move until this house sells as I cannot afford two mortgages or a mortgage on this house, plus a rental. 

What have been your experiences? I need the good, the bad, and the ugly. I am just so overwhelmed right now, it isn't funny. Some days I just want to sit in front of the TV and do nothing and let everything take care of itself. But I know, realistically, I cannot do that.

Thanks.

by on May. 15, 2013 at 5:51 PM
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Replies (1-5):
Robsessed98
by on May. 15, 2013 at 9:11 PM
1 mom liked this
Talk to a realtor, get an appraisal, find out your payoff amount and crunch the numbers. Then you'll know where you stand financially. Weigh your options and decide which is best for you and your child.
steviechick
by Gold Member on May. 16, 2013 at 10:41 AM

I was thinking about doing the same thing a few months ago.  Then a friend asked me 1.  Do you have a job in your next location?  2. Can you live on the equity you have when you sell your home?  3. Will your daughter be able to make it on her own if you were to move 8 hrs away?  Well, she actually helped me decide to stay in my home.  I have a job that pays well.  It pays my bills for the most part.  I have a home I can sell but I don't have a new job if I were to move.  I don't want to live on my equity until I find gainful employment.  I also don't want to leave my daughter alone with only a few friends to turn to if she needs help.  She's currently in college and her father is only a half hour away.  I don't want anything to happen to her when it comes to her mentally ill father.  I made my decision to stay at least until my daughter is out of college.  Maybe by then I'll have a SO or at least a good job in the city in which I was going to move. 

I would get an appraisal done on your home.  See what the market holds for your neighborhood and look at how much you stil have on your mortgage.  You more than likely have built enough equity to have some money for a down payment on a new home.  Not everyone can find a job right away in this economy, so I would weigh that as well.  You might be better off keeping your home or moving to a smaller home with a smaller mortgage.  If you can find a job where you plan on moving to then that's a plus.  But, don't forget that you have a home to sell first.

amonkeymom
by Gold Member on May. 16, 2013 at 11:53 AM

I'm so sorry for the losses of your mom and your husband.

Chances are that the house is worth more now than what you paid for it and if it's in good shape you'll get more from the sale of the house.  Talk to a realtor to know what your options are.

SusanArlene
by on May. 17, 2013 at 2:41 PM



Quoting Robsessed98:

Talk to a realtor, get an appraisal, find out your payoff amount and crunch the numbers. Then you'll know where you stand financially. Weigh your options and decide which is best for you and your child.

I do have a realtor, but up until now, she has been dodging my questions as she can't really say how much I will get out of the sale of my home because the market changes rapidly, so she can't commit to anything concrete.  She did just email me a form to fill out that will help me figure out expenses, etc. I am working on that now.

SusanArlene
by on May. 17, 2013 at 3:21 PM



Quoting steviechick:

I was thinking about doing the same thing a few months ago.  Then a friend asked me 1.  Do you have a job in your next location?

No, I do not. But I am not worried. Due to husband's death and the fact that my kids were minors when he died, I live on social security death benefits (not to be confused with social security in general), as well as workers comp (he worked for the government and was killed while on assignment). This, for now, is my sole income, which is steady, and the realtors like that. Once I get to city, I am going to look for a part-time job. My girls are older now, and I am done being a stay-at-home mom. I need to get out; I am becoming a hermit and socially disengaged. I'm tired of talking to myself and the dog during the day. I need to be around other adults!


2. Can you live on the equity you have when you sell your home?  3. Will your daughter be able to make it on her own if you were to move 8 hrs away?  Well, she actually helped me decide to stay in my home.  I have a job that pays well.  It pays my bills for the most part.  I have a home I can sell but I don't have a new job if I were to move.  I don't want to live on my equity until I find gainful employment.  I also don't want to leave my daughter alone with only a few friends to turn to if she needs help.  She's currently in college and her father is only a half hour away.  I don't want anything to happen to her when it comes to her mentally ill father.  I made my decision to stay at least until my daughter is out of college.  Maybe by then I'll have a SO or at least a good job in the city in which I was going to move. 

My daughter does have a job, and I will help her  out as much as I can, but she knows she will be on her own for the most part, i.e., buying her own gas, groceries, etc. When I moved away from home at 19, I lived on $300 a month. I got other jobs to help supplement my income, i.e., babysittng, mowing lawns, etc. She can, too.  Of course, this summer will free her up, and she will get more hours. I don't know what her exact title is, but she goes to elderly and disabled clients' homes and cleans their houses, fixes their meals, and sometimes acts as a companion).

As far as leavingt my daughter alone, I have two sisters and a brother nearby, so in a pinch, she can call them. They have already agreed to help her out if need be.

Fortunately, I don't have a mentally ill husband, so I don't have to worry about that. Unfortunately, my husband was tragically and unexpectedly killed. We
were very much in love and had a great marriage. I miss him every day.

I would get an appraisal done on your home.  See what the market holds for your neighborhood and look at how much you stil have on your mortgage.  You more than likely have built enough equity to have some money for a down payment on a new home.  Not everyone can find a job right away in this economy, so I would weigh that as well.  You might be better off keeping your home or moving to a smaller home with a smaller mortgage.  If you can find a job where you plan on moving to then that's a plus.  But, don't forget that you have a home to sell first.

I just emailed the same person who did the appraisal on the house when I moved in. Waiting for her reply.  Will probably cost me $350 according to her website.

I live in a great neighborhood where all the houses are well kept. In fact, we are the envy of a lot of people in this town. The neighboohood is so great that, during Halloween, everyone comes here to go trick-or-treating as it is also very well lit with street lamps and it is considered one of the safest neighborhoods in town. In fact, for awile there, I didn't even lock my front door. I do now, though, as that is a bad habit to get into. Lol. Again the job situation does not worry me. I may even get hired back on at the company I worked for before I moved here. The person who replaced me when I moved will be retiring soon, and I know the boss would hire me back in a heartbeat. He even put that down in his recommendation letter for me.

I also just completed an online exam for the State and listed this city as place of I want to work. In addition, I just sent about 50 resumes to various publishing, PR, and communications firms. Yes, it would be nice to have a job lined up before I move, but it is not a "have to" for me.  I do know that the job market is pretty nonexistent, so I am willing to work for a temp agency. Fortunately, my finacnial advisor knows the owner of one of the temp agencies and has already in a good word for me. I have over 20 years experience as an admin assistant (even as an executive assistant). Push come to shove, that is my fall back. But, since I have a degree in English, I'd really like to use my writing and editing skills. The city where I am moving has a lot to offer in this arena. I may be getting my hopes up, but it would definitely be a step up to where I am in my life now. 



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