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i just want to post about something positive but its always ruined

Posted by on May. 17, 2013 at 8:35 AM
  • 8 Replies

ugh...my mother always knows how to put me in a bad mood...i really was hoping that i was going to have good news to share today and be in the best mood bc i am hoping to hear about this job that i really want...it could change everything...instead i get an email from my mom this morning saying she wants me to clean out the fridge bc i have too much food and drinks in there and she has no room for her stuff...are you kidding me? i have 5 kids and she is one person...i understand this is her house and i am grateful for her letting us stay here but it is really getting to be unbearable and all she does is tell me how i need to move my stuff or she just throws it out herself...i want this job so bad so i can save money and move out and stop paying her...plus she wanted me to increase the rent every time i dont have a job and how i dont clean up (which i do all the time) i just refuse to clean up after her bc she has become a slob and her house is covered in bugs and ants now...i used to clean everything in the house and now i stopped bc she thinks she can just use me and not say thank you when that was all i ever did for her...she would cook for me on occassion and i would thank her and help her clean up and cleaned the kitchen, both bathrooms, living and family room, my room and the kids rooms and bc of her attitude i stopped, i clean up after me and my kids and thats it...i am so sick of this i just dont know what to do...i have no where else to go and it sucks...i just want to be happy w/ my life instead i have my mother beating me down

by on May. 17, 2013 at 8:35 AM
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Replies (1-8):
camelia40
by on May. 17, 2013 at 8:41 AM
2 moms liked this

 It's hard living with people, plain and simple. Even if they are your family. Imagine how she feels, having her space to herself and then opening it up to you and your children. Just because she loves you doesn't mean she's not human. It's always beneficial to look at the other person's point of view for a minute. And Good Luck on the job!!

lovemybabes3
by on May. 17, 2013 at 9:15 AM


i understand compeletly...but we never got along while living together...i mean serious fights and yelling...i knew it was a bad decision but i had nowhere else to go...i have done everything she has asked but now it is getting ridiculous...she has plenty of room, this is a big house but she chooses to hide in her room which is next to mine and my kids are always in there since we cannot be downstairs unless we are eating...she has accused me of breaking her things which i didnt...i just think that she will not comprimise on anything and deal w/ somethings bc she wanted us here, not the other way around, she invited me so she should have known that my kids stuff was going to take over...but i removed it all so that its just in the bedrooms where we stay so that she would stop complaining about toys being on the floor...

Quoting camelia40:

 It's hard living with people, plain and simple. Even if they are your family. Imagine how she feels, having her space to herself and then opening it up to you and your children. Just because she loves you doesn't mean she's not human. It's always beneficial to look at the other person's point of view for a minute. And Good Luck on the job!!



steviechick
by on May. 17, 2013 at 10:04 AM

Well, your mom should have known what life would be like with five grandkids.  She is more than likely not prepared for you and your kids to stay there.  What about cs?  Are you collecting that?  I would save as much of that as you could and in the meantime look for gainful employment.  Unfortunately, you have no choice but to stay with your mom until you can move out.  Are the kids old enough to try and pick-up after themselves?  As far as your mom's picky way of living and not fully getting along with you perhaps you can sit down and talk to her about her behavior and if she's willing to back off a little bit.  She truly needs to realize that you are trying to raise five kids under one roof and doing the best you can.  Maybe you can take the kids out to the park or away from the house a few hours during the week to give your mom some space.  I know you can't please her since she seems to have control issues, but perhaps giving her more quiet time she will learn to appreciate what you are trying to do.  It has to be hard on her having five grandkids under one roof.  I think that's why she's being so nasty to you.

lovemybabes3
by on May. 17, 2013 at 10:12 AM


i am getting cs and i am trying to save but i have to pay bills, rent to her and pay my dad back...plus i dont get much for food for all of us so i have to use some of my money and i am trying to save as much as i can...as for sitting down w/ her, she is so stubborn and i have tried to talk to her and it always backfires in my face...we fight, and i dont want the kids around that anymore...she does get her alone time...my kids go to their dads once a week and every other weekend and she has been going out a lot too when they are home and 3 of them are in school...they do clean up and help me but there toys arent laying around anymore so now she is going to fight me about the fridge bc there is nothing else she can fight about...i have done everything she asked w/ the exception of increasing rent every month i dont have a job which is ridiculous...she just likes to complain bc she is miserable and thinks she will be alone forever...she really needs to find someone to spend her time w/ instead of by herself, i tried to tell her to do that but she wont, she thinks shes too old or whatever and i dont know if she is still in her therapy and group anymore...she wants me miserable like her...i have a bf that i hardly even get to see bc of her and we deal w/ it...she doesnt want him around her property so he doesnt even come here...if i have to see him i have to drive a hald hr to see him...so idk what else she wants from me

Quoting steviechick:

Well, your mom should have known what life would be like with five grandkids.  She is more than likely not prepared for you and your kids to stay there.  What about cs?  Are you collecting that?  I would save as much of that as you could and in the meantime look for gainful employment.  Unfortunately, you have no choice but to stay with your mom until you can move out.  Are the kids old enough to try and pick-up after themselves?  As far as your mom's picky way of living and not fully getting along with you perhaps you can sit down and talk to her about her behavior and if she's willing to back off a little bit.  She truly needs to realize that you are trying to raise five kids under one roof and doing the best you can.  Maybe you can take the kids out to the park or away from the house a few hours during the week to give your mom some space.  I know you can't please her since she seems to have control issues, but perhaps giving her more quiet time she will learn to appreciate what you are trying to do.  It has to be hard on her having five grandkids under one roof.  I think that's why she's being so nasty to you.



steviechick
by on May. 17, 2013 at 10:15 AM

What about moving in with your dad?  Could he help you pay rent if you moved into a rental?  Life with your mom is going to get even worse.  She seems to be constantly in a depressive state and wants you to be just as miserable as she is.  Your kids need a much better home environment. 

lovemybabes3
by on May. 17, 2013 at 10:48 AM

if he had the room thats where we would have gone...they told me they wouldnt help me if i were to get a place and idk if they even can help me get a rental...it would be great but i just dont know...living here is becoming a nightmare and i am seriously stressed and i am always shaking but when i am gone from here i can be relaxed, my anxiety is horrible in this house and i dont want to end up like her 

Robsessed98
by on May. 17, 2013 at 12:37 PM
I've been on your side and am now on the other side with my dd and her 2 living with me. I see where you're coming from and you have a legit gripe bc it is very hard to live with family. But you need to see her side of the situation. I am not bashing you here, just giving you some insight. As mom and g'ma we are more than happy to help however we can, but we've raised our kids and its supposed to be our time. It's harder on g'ma having her house full again and giving up the freedom that should come with having finished our job. As much as we love our kids and g'kids, at times It's hard not to be a little angry and resentful. Just appreciate having a place to stay and keep working towards the day when you can afford to move out.
lovemybabes3
by on May. 17, 2013 at 12:54 PM

i totally get that and i am grateful...but it was her idea and i told her it wasnt going to be easy and i said she didnt know what she was getting into...and i do not ask her to take care of my kids...she doesnt even watch them anymore bc she whines and fights w/ me...she went as far as yelling at my bf and telling him what a loser he was bc she was mad at me and it seems like she wants to control my entire life...i dont ask her for anymore then a place to stay...she makes plenty of money and lives a nice life, i dont ask her for any money or help...she did help and when we werent living together things were good between us...but she doesnt want to even compromise...i used to cook and clean for her and not once did i get thanked...i didnt have to do those things but bc she was letting us live there i wanted to do something nice since she worked all day...but now, i just dont care bc its never enough...now she is fighting me over something petty, seriously, 5 kids eat alot...i have now 2 small shelves in the fridge and a thing of milk on the side...there are double things like milk, butter, mayo stuff mustard, ketchup...i dont have much money a month to spend on food and we dont share food anymore bc she fights w/ me all the time...i got tired of her wasting my food and not replacing it and her expecting me to always do that...its just frustrating and i feel like every few weeks she takes more and more away...i used to have my bf come to the house, granted he wasnt allowed in the house but he could play outside w/ the kids or come see me at night once they were asleep, now i cant even do that...i just want it to end


Quoting Robsessed98:

I've been on your side and am now on the other side with my dd and her 2 living with me. I see where you're coming from and you have a legit gripe bc it is very hard to live with family. But you need to see her side of the situation. I am not bashing you here, just giving you some insight. As mom and g'ma we are more than happy to help however we can, but we've raised our kids and its supposed to be our time. It's harder on g'ma having her house full again and giving up the freedom that should come with having finished our job. As much as we love our kids and g'kids, at times It's hard not to be a little angry and resentful. Just appreciate having a place to stay and keep working towards the day when you can afford to move out.



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