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He gets out next months idk what to do!

Posted by on May. 17, 2013 at 12:57 PM
  • 7 Replies
So my sons father has been in prison for 4 years. Well he gets out next month(june 21st). My son has no clue who he is has never seen or met him my son just turned 4. We did the DNA test and child support all while he was in. I was writing him and all he talked about wa being a family and blah blah lol. I honestly don't know what my feelings are for him anymore. We were never a couple just friends having fun when I got pregnant and after I found out he treated me like crap said the baby was not his. My son know my ex as his dad he helped raise home and after we split and found out my son was not his we agreed together that he would still play the role as dad. The other guy has his own family now and has not really kept to his word but I don't care about that. I'm just confused on what to do I know as soon as he is out he is going to try to see my son. Honestly I don't want him around him at all. He has to register as a sex offender when he gets out. I have tried to drop his rights but courts would no do it. So I dropped the child support so he has nothing till he takes me back to court for visitations which I know he will. I have not written or spoke to him in about 2 years and I just don't know what to do right now or when he gets out I'm a little over whelmed with everything. Any advice?
by on May. 17, 2013 at 12:57 PM
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Replies (1-7):
jenmomx3
by on May. 17, 2013 at 1:03 PM
1 mom liked this

 When you filed for your child support did you file for custody? If not, that would be my first move.  File now, while he is still in jail, and if you get lucky, you might have the court date before he gets out.  Also, with him being a registered sex offender, and having never met your child, you have a good solid case in your favor.  Also, I will say this....a person in jail will tell you anything...he might be telling you he loves you/misses you/wants to get to know your child, etc, but that is just a way to try to set himself up for when he gets out of jail.

He is looking to have a roof over his head, someone to take care of him, and some booty when he gets out.  when he had his freedom he treated  you like crap...the only thing that has changes is now he needs you. Don't fall into that trap.

huntersmommy91
by on May. 17, 2013 at 1:12 PM
I have full custody right now but he can get visitations if he takes me to court. And about him wanting all that when he does get out that's what I've been thinking too and there is no way in hell I'm going to let my child around him before I see how he is myself. He told me he has changed and that he looks at life differently now. I don't believe him at all I'm just worried my child will be the one to get Hurt I don't want him coming in and out of his life whenever he pleases and that's my biggest fear and I know once he gets out the first thing he is gonna want is a piece of a** that's how he has always been that's how he got landed in prison in the first place. I tried to help him before but he just pushed me away
lnrmom
by on May. 17, 2013 at 1:20 PM

If he has to register as a sex offender, I would fight tooth and nail to keep him away from my child. I don't care what the charges were. Screw. That.

huntersmommy91
by on May. 17, 2013 at 1:28 PM
Yeah that's how I feel even tho it was teenage girls it happened with. The way I look at it he will never be able to take my son to school or to parks or any other child activities it sucks cause I'm not gonna lie I think he could be a good dad but I just dont want my kid to be the one with that bad dad and can't have his friends over or stuff like that
elowynsoddities
by on May. 17, 2013 at 1:31 PM

Don't believe him. My son's dad has been in and out of jail for the last 4 years. It isn't prison but they all say the same things. how much the miss you  how much they have changed. How they have found God. It's all basically bullship. I gave him the benefit of the doubt so many times. This last time I haven't budged. He is trying to find his own way now and is having to rely on the kindness of his mom and one of my neighbors. I understand the he has to register as a sex offender. My son's father has to do the same but it is because when he was just 18 he has sex with this then girlfriend of only 16. There are many reasons a person can due time for this type of crime. If it was something along the lines of my son's dad then I wouldn't judge too harshly but if it was like a legitmate sexual offence then step lightly. Don't let him see your child without supervised visitation and the whole 9. You are a strong and loving person. I know you will do the right thing for your child. I wish you the best of luck. Stay strong.

Shy_Dia
by Silver Member on May. 17, 2013 at 1:40 PM
Mine gets out in September. Tbh, only real reason I continue to write to him, other than now I do enjoy his friendship, is I want to know where his mind is at. Its been 2 years (prison for 3 years, rehab for 8 months before that)... And if he can stay sober, I like the guy that he is. I wouldn't mind my son being around him (with me of course). Granted my ex (not his bio dad but also helped raise him) is still very much involved and that's who I hope my son looks up to the most. But with me and him having that first level of knowing each other, I'm ok to start getting into the next level. If I would've cut contact, I'd have no idea how he's doing, what he's thinking, etc. my ex was like yours- its all about the ass... Except now, he's more about legally making money, getting custody of the other kids (he had two other kids, and his nieces) and learning how to be a dad. Of course, it could just be prison talk. But he also knows I'm not giving him another chance after this. Before when I did, ds was 3. He fucked up and has been outta his life since. He's 7 now. Will be turning 8 when he gets out.

See about legal rights- since he's a convicted sex offender, could you have visits supervised for a year? And if he misses a few visits, could they be completely revoked? That's my plan, minus the sex offender. Mine was a drug addict so he'll have to take drug tests, on his dime, in order to see my son. He agrees- an indication to me that he's kinda changing. Before he would've said hell no, I'm just gonna get him and you can't stop me. Again, could be prison talk... But this is his last chance to do it right and my last attempt for my son to know his biological father.... Oh also- my son wants to see him. If he didn't, I wouldn't make/force ds to go around him. Late last year he wanted nothing to do with his bio-dad. Now, he has questions he wants answered. After that, we'll see
huntersmommy91
by on May. 17, 2013 at 2:11 PM
It fells good to know I'm not alone lol he is in for 4 counts unlawful sexual conduct with minor all girls were willing but ones parents found out and turned him in. After that all the girls wanted to get him too he was 20 when it all happens girls were like 16-17. Me myself I was 17 but didn't turn him in because I was willing to do it. I liked him a lot at the time. Like I said I just don't want my son hurt by him I he can keep to his work I'm okay with him being in my sons life.


Quoting Shy_Dia:

Mine gets out in September. Tbh, only real reason I continue to write to him, other than now I do enjoy his friendship, is I want to know where his mind is at. Its been 2 years (prison for 3 years, rehab for 8 months before that)... And if he can stay sober, I like the guy that he is. I wouldn't mind my son being around him (with me of course). Granted my ex (not his bio dad but also helped raise him) is still very much involved and that's who I hope my son looks up to the most. But with me and him having that first level of knowing each other, I'm ok to start getting into the next level. If I would've cut contact, I'd have no idea how he's doing, what he's thinking, etc. my ex was like yours- its all about the ass... Except now, he's more about legally making money, getting custody of the other kids (he had two other kids, and his nieces) and learning how to be a dad. Of course, it could just be prison talk. But he also knows I'm not giving him another chance after this. Before when I did, ds was 3. He fucked up and has been outta his life since. He's 7 now. Will be turning 8 when he gets out.



See about legal rights- since he's a convicted sex offender, could you have visits supervised for a year? And if he misses a few visits, could they be completely revoked? That's my plan, minus the sex offender. Mine was a drug addict so he'll have to take drug tests, on his dime, in order to see my son. He agrees- an indication to me that he's kinda changing. Before he would've said hell no, I'm just gonna get him and you can't stop me. Again, could be prison talk... But this is his last chance to do it right and my last attempt for my son to know his biological father.... Oh also- my son wants to see him. If he didn't, I wouldn't make/force ds to go around him. Late last year he wanted nothing to do with his bio-dad. Now, he has questions he wants answered. After that, we'll see

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