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Single Moms Single Moms

I feel like a failure

Posted by on May. 19, 2013 at 7:15 PM
  • 22 Replies

I'm in the process of trying to find employment but it seems like trying to find a job in Detroit is like trying to find a needle in a hay stack. Until I do find a job my mom helps, as much as cans/wants...and I know it's not her job to help take care of my daughter but when you offer to do for her while I stayed home for a few months then that's what I expected. I just feel horrible because I can't provide for her the way a mother is suppose to. I originally thought taking the time to stay home with my daughter since I went right back to work after 3 weeks of having her was a good idea especially since I had the support of my mother but everything has blown up in my face. 

I just feel like I'm letting my daughter down in more ways than one...simple frown

CafeMom Tickers
by on May. 19, 2013 at 7:15 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Mamavelt
by Bronze Member on May. 19, 2013 at 7:56 PM
2 moms liked this
I think all single moms feel like a failure sometimes. I am employed, but w no child support i am still having trouble making it. I think you just have to do your best to provide and graciously accept any help you do receive.

Hugs mama! Things will get better.
Mamavelt
by Bronze Member on May. 19, 2013 at 7:59 PM
I think all single moms feel like a failure sometimes. I am employed, but w no child support i am still having trouble making it. I think you just have to do your best to provide and graciously accept any help you do receive.

Hugs mama! Things will get better.
virginiamama71
by Carrie on May. 19, 2013 at 10:03 PM
Its always good when family helps take care of each other. What kind of work are you looking for?
flawskii
by on May. 19, 2013 at 11:30 PM
At this point there's no limit to what I'm looking for whatever I can get to at least bring in some kind of income.

Quoting virginiamama71:

Its always good when family helps take care of each other.

What kind of work are you looking for?
heretolisten
by Bronze Member on May. 20, 2013 at 1:20 AM

I know this may not sound desirable to some people, but I have to say that there is no shame in getting financial / food assistance if you feel you need to make a monetary contribution.  A child needs their mother IMO and if you have the ability to stay home and take care of your child, be there for your child, nurture, help with development, etc., then you are doing something truly amazing for your child...being there.  Some people don't have that option at all.  You do.  I would embrace it to the fullest.  Your mother is still there for you and I'm sure you would do the same for your child if the circumstances were to arise.  IDK the situation regarding child support .. but if you aren't getting any, feel blessed that your mother is allowing you to be a full time mother. Help around the house.  Be the live in housekeeper/chef so to speak.  Run errands for her if you're out.  That's a way to contribute.  Please don't feel like a failure.  

LifeCafe42
by Nora on May. 20, 2013 at 2:58 AM
1 mom liked this
Hugs mama good luck keep applying anything is better than nothing and you can keep looking for the ideal job after you are already working
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flawskii
by on May. 20, 2013 at 12:27 PM
And that's exactly my plan. I said (before I had a child) that I would never go back to fast good but at this point something is better than nothing.

Quoting LifeCafe42:

Hugs mama good luck keep applying anything is better than nothing and you can keep looking for the ideal job after you are already working
flawskii
by on May. 20, 2013 at 12:33 PM
When I said she helps as much as she can/wants I was hinting to she helps when she wants to but make reference to helping when she can. She was the one who said I should quit and stay home with my daughter and offered her help and I don't mind contributing to the household with the government assistance I recieve I mean its the least I could do since I'm not working but it seems like all I've been hearing for the last month (December was the last time i worked) is nitpicking at sometimes I ask her to buy diapers for me and that's only if my grandma doesn't buy them and her fussing everyday about how I needs job. I know I need a job I want a job and I am actively looking for one. I just feel like I made a mistake of quitting. Don't get me wrong i enjoy spending everyday all with my daughter but if I was gonna have to constantly hear her fuss i would have just kept working.

Quoting heretolisten:

I know this may not sound desirable to some people, but I have to say that there is no shame in getting financial / food assistance if you feel you need to make a monetary contribution.  A child needs their mother IMO and if you have the ability to stay home and take care of your child, be there for your child, nurture, help with development, etc., then you are doing something truly amazing for your child...being there.  Some people don't have that option at all.  You do.  I would embrace it to the fullest.  Your mother is still there for you and I'm sure you would do the same for your child if the circumstances were to arise.  IDK the situation regarding child support .. but if you aren't getting any, feel blessed that your mother is allowing you to be a full time mother. Help around the house.  Be the live in housekeeper/chef so to speak.  Run errands for her if you're out.  That's a way to contribute.  Please don't feel like a failure.  

Jkia1boy
by Member on May. 20, 2013 at 12:45 PM
Staying with our Babies are a Joy, but unfortunately single mothers don't have that luxury like married women, so that's why its just better to work so that you can provide for you and your child and don't have to hear nobody lip. Judt keep looking and put that man on child support. *Hugs*
flawskii
by on May. 20, 2013 at 1:21 PM
I'm attempting to put him on child support but I won't be holding my breath on collecting anything. He don't pay child support for his other child which is why he's sitting in jail for 10 months right now.

Quoting Jkia1boy:

Staying with our Babies are a Joy, but unfortunately single mothers don't have that luxury like married women, so that's why its just better to work so that you can provide for you and your child and don't have to hear nobody lip. Judt keep looking and put that man on child support. *Hugs*
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