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Hi Everyone, new to the site and needed to vent and get support

Posted by on May. 20, 2013 at 5:14 PM
  • 6 Replies
I officially got divorced last month and just found out that my ex has a new girlfriend (it's hard when they move on an you are sitting back running the kids everywhere and they get to do what they want)my issue is he is lying to the kids about what he is doing and forgetting their events and blames it on "I just forgot" well thank goodness for Facebook!! Anyway, I am used to the lying and cheating but now it's hurting my kids. We had the best divorce no child support ordered and he only gets to see the kids when it works with their schedule. And now they don't ever want to see him.
by on May. 20, 2013 at 5:14 PM
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Replies (1-6):
by Carrie on May. 20, 2013 at 6:02 PM

Not sure if you told them but I would not tell the children he has a girlfriend. Its for him to talk to them about that. (unless they are old enough to be on FB and came across it on their own).

Keep yourself and children busy with each other and other things, and eventually children start to accept one parent is going to be more involved than the other.

Cafe AmyS
by Head Admin on May. 20, 2013 at 8:20 PM

hugs  Welcome!

I'm sorry your ex is doing things that are hurting your children.  

by on May. 21, 2013 at 5:36 AM
I'm sorry, many exs like the taste of the beginning of a new relationship so much they forget that they do have promises and little ones, many of us have experienced this. Don't mention what he does or what you think of it, kids make their decisions early and see things we wish they wouldn't.
by on May. 21, 2013 at 11:29 AM

In my case my ex had a gf while we were married. 

I know life isn't fair and when we get divorced it seems as though our exes 'move on' while we continue to raise them.  My ex has simply walked out on our daughter because quite frankly he's not a man.  I wouldn't tell the kids that daddy has a new gf.  Let him tell them.  Unfortunately, your ex doesn't seem to care how you feel and only cares about himself.  I know the feeling.  If your kids don't want to see their dad that might be a problem with visitation.  Is it because they aren't happy that dad has a new gf and he's not with mom anymore?  You have to sit down and discuss the fact that dad has moved on and that they have to be with him. 

by on May. 21, 2013 at 11:58 AM
Welcome to the group. Other than letting him know how its affecting the kids, there's nothing you can do about him. Just keep the kids busy and distracted as much as possible. Don't lie or make up excuses for their dad, but also don't tell them he's thinking with the wrong head now that he's got a gf. If they keep asking about him, have them call or confront him and let him explain what's going on himself.
by on May. 21, 2013 at 1:27 PM

It's amazing how people can just move on and sort of forget about their children like that. It's unfair to everyone and hurts them the most. Sorry that your ex is being so selfish. Hugs to you and your kiddos!

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