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DD is having problems with her Dad's Move

Posted by on May. 20, 2013 at 9:14 PM
  • 8 Replies

DD has been having several accidents in the last few weeks - just in the last week 3 (peed once, and pooped twice).  She is 4 and will be starting Kindergarten this fall.  She has been potty trained for a good while now.  She may have accidents periodically, but never pooping and never so much together.  Generally its just she waits too long and her panties get a litle wet....but even that is not very often.  I think that her problem is because her dad moved to north carolina and we don't know where in north carolina...and when she tried to return his phone call the sunday before last, the message said his number was disconnected or the number changed.  So now she has no way to even call him and I am sure she is concerned he will never call her.


I called her doctor to get a referral for a therapist/councelor.  Then today, he called from the number that a week ago said it was disconnected.  I was at work.  He left a message saying to have DD call him back.  My concern is that if he keeps this back and forth up and not actually returning her calls or she cant even leave him a message, it will just continue to upset her and cause her problems.  I am really worried about her....

So instead of having her listen to the message and call him back, I text him and told him that I would be home by 5:30 and if he wanted to talk to DD to call after that.  He has not called...My lawyer seemed to think this would be okay.  I dont want to be accused of keeping him from talking to her, but I don't want to facilitate him messing with her head/heart anymore than he has already.


I hate all this for her.  She needs her daddy and it makes me sad.  I know there is nothing I can do to make him be the dad she needs - especially being 9 to 10 hours away.  And at this time, I am not open to extended visitation (ie. her going down there for any length of time).    But ultimately....this just sucks.


I am hoping I can find a therapist who can help her and help me to help her more.  I wish I could do more for her.

by on May. 20, 2013 at 9:14 PM
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Replies (1-8):
hugmore
by on May. 20, 2013 at 9:30 PM
Is there a court order for visitation?
virginiamama71
by Carrie on May. 20, 2013 at 9:32 PM
1 mom liked this
I would continue the texts but not the calls until something is arranged where he will be able to talk with her consistently.
sunshine389142
by on May. 20, 2013 at 10:56 PM



Quoting hugmore:

Is there a court order for visitation?


He only just moved to NC on May 10th.  Prior to that it was Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines - so technically those are still in affect - however, if he requests for the out of state visitation as outined in the guidelines, I will take it to court.  In February, we signed an agreement that DD could not be left alone with his new girlfriend/fiance (she has seizures and does not have a drivers license because of that - although emotionally speaking I dont want her around her at all because she is the most manipulative person I have ever met in my life and she physically attacked me right before the end of the year), my ex is not to drink during his parenting time/around Adrianna, my ex is not to smoke around my DD....I do not trust that my ex can follow this agreement for an extended visitation.  So, I would fight extended visitation.  My DD has only spent fri at 6pm to sun at noon every other weekend away from me at the most.  And her dad has done nothing but prove he cannot handle having his children and my DD for more than a day or so on his own.

amonkeymom
by Gold Member on May. 21, 2013 at 1:36 PM

It could be that he was just a little late paying his phone bill (my oldest son's dad does that all the time so they will shut off the phones for a day or so once a month, it's very annoying) but has gotten it paid.  I hope he does/did finally call her last night or calls her today.

I do think that getting your daughter into some counseling is a very good idea.  Poor little one might be thinking that she did something wrong that made her daddy want to move away.

Robsessed98
by on May. 21, 2013 at 4:15 PM
Definitely continue the texts or email for proof you're not denying access. I totally agree he should be the one to call, but never tell her he's going to. Accidents aren't unusual at that even under normal situations, but a few counseling sessions can't hurt.
krisnkids
by Gold Member on May. 21, 2013 at 4:22 PM

Set up a paint program on the computer so when she can't talk to her dad, she can draw him a picture of what she is doing and email it to him. Even if its an old email address for him, its still a way of communicating with him that may help her get through this.

sunshine389142
by on May. 21, 2013 at 10:14 PM


He has never had e-mail.  He only has FB because of the gf/fiance - and they blocked me the same day they sent the account up.  But its a good thought.  She has always made all her pictures for her dad...well until the last few months.

Quoting krisnkids:

Set up a paint program on the computer so when she can't talk to her dad, she can draw him a picture of what she is doing and email it to him. Even if its an old email address for him, its still a way of communicating with him that may help her get through this.



sunshine389142
by on May. 21, 2013 at 10:21 PM


It is possible.  He has told his older children from his ex-wife that its my fault.  I don't know think that he actually told DD that...however, right now she is really missing him.

He never called.  He didnt call today either.  I have not even told her that he called or that his phone is on again.  

It is possible it wasn't paid - it is a prepaid phone I believe, but I am not sure - his gf/fiance claims to have the phone in her name.

Quoting amonkeymom:

It could be that he was just a little late paying his phone bill (my oldest son's dad does that all the time so they will shut off the phones for a day or so once a month, it's very annoying) but has gotten it paid.  I hope he does/did finally call her last night or calls her today.

I do think that getting your daughter into some counseling is a very good idea.  Poor little one might be thinking that she did something wrong that made her daddy want to move away.



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