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Got sole custody but now the dad is waging a psychological war to make me miserable. Sound familiar?

Posted by on May. 21, 2013 at 8:24 PM
  • 21 Replies
What's more he does not want to co parent with me in any way. I just want to get on with my life, heal and raise my child in peace but have to deal with my ex's passive aggressive behavior at every transaction. Does anyone know of that software where you post all the details of the child's schedule so you don't actually have to talk to your ex?

Lotusmom18
by on May. 21, 2013 at 8:24 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lydi
by on May. 21, 2013 at 9:34 PM

 No idea, but here is a bump and I hope things get easier for you and your child.

newlife2013
by on May. 21, 2013 at 10:04 PM
I sympathize with you, the ex was terrible as well, court established the visits as there was no way to communicate. Good luck.
Bella14308
by Member on May. 21, 2013 at 10:07 PM
1 mom liked this
Ourfamilywizard.com

my ex and i use it
its $99 for a year
Oliviasmom72
by Silver Member on May. 21, 2013 at 11:42 PM

Why did you insist on sole? Why not joint? there would probably be alot less problems with him and your kid will be better off if joint was given mor often and parents would be forced to co parent. Sole custody is not much co parenting. I'd be pissed too if I were him and your child will probably bare the runt of it.

LauraMH
by on May. 22, 2013 at 10:24 AM

Yes, that sounds VERY familiar! My ex is impossible to co-parent with and I was given sole custody to because of it. I insist on communicating only through e-mails. I always answer when he calls but if he isn't wanting to talk to the kids (or have me talk to them when he has them) then I just hang up. There have been several times that I have given in and tried to talk to him in person or on the phone and it always turns out bad. Try only talking through e-mail and if that doesn't work, try the OurFamilywizard. Good luck hun

stillstandin246
by on May. 22, 2013 at 9:54 PM
6 moms liked this
Joint custody is not a magical answer. And I'm going to guess that he's not causing problems because he's brokenhearted over not receiving joint custody. One parent having primary custody works best for lots of people and if she got sole custody there must be a good reason.

Quoting Oliviasmom72:

Why did you insist on sole? Why not joint? there would probably be alot less problems with him and your kid will be better off if joint was given mor often and parents would be forced to co parent. Sole custody is not much co parenting. I'd be pissed too if I were him and your child will probably bare the runt of it.

Oliviasmom72
by Silver Member on May. 25, 2013 at 1:51 AM

Sole custody rarely benefits both parents and the kids almost never benefit from it. Something tells me that is not what he wanted so he is mad. Family courts are troubled and often make wrong decisions. Maybe he just did not want to fight.

Robsessed98
by on May. 26, 2013 at 8:26 PM
I don't know, but any text, email or calendar app works just fine. Make sure you document what he does and does not so as well as make all communication in writing to prove you follow the rules if you end up back in court.
grneyedormom
by Kendra on May. 27, 2013 at 12:24 PM
I have full legal and physical custody and have a successful co-parenting relationship with my kiddo's father. In fact, if he lived closer I would consider changing it to joint but not while he lives 2 hours away.
A-nony-mous
by on May. 28, 2013 at 3:09 PM

If you have SC why do you have to detail so much information for your ex? As I understand it SC basically means that you have all the legal rights in terms of making medical, educational, religious and other decisions and all he has is basically visitation. So he might be passive aggressive and complain and want to say or to criticize your decisions but take it for what it is -- him being whiny because he was stupid enough to get into a position where he no longer has a legal say and trying to exert the tiny amount of power he has left over to you and/or the child. 

I'm going through something similar with my ex and he does the same thing and I've learned to just ignore it. I have SC as well and thus I don't have to tell him anything. He agreed to me having SC and while he loves to criticize and be passive aggressive and nag and try to have a say in things he just agreed he doesn't want to have responsibility for...it's all just him being infantile about the poor decisions he's made to get him to this point.

If you have SC then I think you need to be realistic about the amount of co-parenting help you're going to get. If he doesn't have any sort of custody then the help he could give you is basically nil and limited to taking your child out for a few hours at a time to a park or McDonalds or a movie and then bringing them back. 

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