Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Single Moms Single Moms

Deadbeat Dads

Posted by on May. 22, 2013 at 12:53 PM
  • 19 Replies

I was hoping that someone out there might have a suggestion about what I can do with may situation. I have 3 children and have been divorced for about 4 years now. My EX lives in another state and owes more then $50,000 in arrears. I have taken him back to court for contempt twice and he still does not pay. My case was filed with Child Support Services before my divorce was final and I know they have done all they can to help collect the back support. I spoke with them this morning and was informed that there is nothing eles that can be done. The state he lives in is pusuing the support issue and I will just have to wait to see if he ever decides to pay. By choice he has not seen his kids in two years and rarely talks to them. He calls once a year on their birthday. The kids use to call him but were disheartened when they realized he never called them and that if they wanted to talk to him they had to initiate the call. They don't believe he cares about them because he now has a new family with three new kids. With all the laws put in place to help single parents and prevent this deadbeat parent status you would think that something else could be done. The two time I took him back to court I won the cases but they porvide lienency for him and order him to pay yet he crys poor and refuses. I have proof that he is purchasing large ticket items like ATVs and JET Skis but that does not seem to make a difference. He hides his new busines behind his girlfriends name and use her lisence for everything, making it difficult for Child support services to do anything. Is there anyone out there who has had a similar experience that can offer advice to get some of that arrears paid?

by on May. 22, 2013 at 12:53 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Arwyn724
by Member on May. 22, 2013 at 1:10 PM

I feel your pain.  My youngest's dad does not work, because he is dodging child support.  If he worked, he would not ever get a tax refund check from the State, so he only works under the table occasionally.  He lives with his mom, she works 2 jobs to support them.  As long as his mother enables him to be a dead-beat there isn't anything I can do.  I solely take care of my daughter and don't count on him for anything.  That is just my reality.

rocky_mtn_mama
by Member on May. 22, 2013 at 1:51 PM

I wish I had some advice for you.  (((hug)))

amonkeymom
by Gold Member on May. 22, 2013 at 2:28 PM

Your ex is really missing out!  (((hug)))

steviechick
by on May. 22, 2013 at 2:37 PM

The state should be able to place garnishments on his wages.  I tried going this route with my state CSS and they said they could do if my daugher was a minor.  She wasn't at the time and was going to college.  According to my settlement agreement the 'support' my ex agreed to (and signed) was for college support.  He refused to pay her.  I would have been able to garnish his wages had she still be a minor - no problem.  I took my deadbeat ex to court and won a little over a month ago.  Now his paychecks are being garnished.  I would go back and fight your ex in court on contempt charges if you can afford to do this.  I would also think since there is already a ruling on a contempt of court you can easily get garnishments. Check with your ex's local CSS and see what can be done.  Push the issue until you get this resolved.

virginiamama71
by Carrie on May. 22, 2013 at 2:52 PM
2 moms liked this

 Once a person learns how to avoid something nothing will make them do what they are suppose to.

I would not waste anymore time on him. He has disappointed his children and they now know they are not his priority.

Put this extra time and energy wasted on him into your children and yourself.

Briska
by on May. 23, 2013 at 1:30 PM

Thanks for the info - I tried the garnishment route but he seems to know how to out smart the system and hides everything in his girlfriends name. I am not sure if he gets paid under the table or if the fact that she is his boss and refuses to garnish. He lives in one of the four states that does not inforce garnishment. Unfortunatly I can not afford to keep going back to court. Even though I have won in the past it does not seem to change anything because he still refuses to pay. Technically he is in contempt of court but unless CCS in state enforces it, my state tells me there is not much I can do. His states CCS will not talk to me directly, all info regarding the order has to go directly to my states CCS.

happymommy1105
by Gold Member on May. 23, 2013 at 1:45 PM
1 mom liked this
honey- if he doesnt want to, he doesnt want to. you can lead a horse to water but you cant make him drink...no matter how hard you try.

honestly, i would let it go. i would let it add up and then when he dies i would let the kids get it from his estate cause they will still be paid first. child support does not go away....ever.

let him be the parent he chooses to be and let the children draw their own conclusions.

in the meantime stop making yourself crazy and stressed about it.

my older son is seven and in seven years i have seen $150 maybe 5x. he just doesnt care. i dont care anymore either.

he ia reeping what he sowed now....and he isnt happy.
steviechick
by on May. 23, 2013 at 4:00 PM

 


Quoting Briska:

Thanks for the info - I tried the garnishment route but he seems to know how to out smart the system and hides everything in his girlfriends name. I am not sure if he gets paid under the table or if the fact that she is his boss and refuses to garnish. He lives in one of the four states that does not inforce garnishment. Unfortunatly I can not afford to keep going back to court. Even though I have won in the past it does not seem to change anything because he still refuses to pay. Technically he is in contempt of court but unless CCS in state enforces it, my state tells me there is not much I can do. His states CCS will not talk to me directly, all info regarding the order has to go directly to my states CCS.


Since he's in contempt of court and likes to hide his money why not let the courts know where he lives so they can put him in jail?   He won't be able to work while he's in jail and I'm sure the gf won't like the idea that her bf is behind bars.  Go that route to get your money.  He will serve jail time everytime he's in arrears. 

Briska
by on May. 24, 2013 at 12:18 PM

How do I go about putting him in jail? Our original order was in New Jersey and now he lives in South Carolina. The kids and I live in Califorina. Would I have to hire a lawyer in SC?

I wish I could let this go but I really need the court ordered finacial support. My second son was diagnosed with Nuroblastoma soon after we separated. My Ex was suppose to cover health insurance but has canceled it three times without notifying me. The kids are now on state insurance but that does not cover the extras that are needed to care for a child with cancer. 

Robsessed98
by on May. 24, 2013 at 2:03 PM
There's nothing you can do about him using his gf to hide his money without solid proof it is his income. You should be able to get his tax refunds and if he ever gets a lump sum settlement along the way. Just let the cs office in his state do their job and don't let yourself expect anything from him. The day will come that they will get him, but don't waste your time worrying about it in the meantime.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN