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Single mom raising boys alone

Hello moms. I have two boys and a girl that I am taking care of and raising by myself, his choice not to help raising them, & ages 12 1/2, 10, and 10 (twins). I have only sisters and no brothers. Their father have brothers but they never come around, again their choice because they don't want to be disloyal to their brother which is my kids' father. Anyway, you hear and read all the time that a woman can't raise a boy to be a man or boys without father mostly end up in jail and another one, boys without fathers (or male role model for all three saying) most likely will not be successful. Is any moms who had to raise boys alone or is raising boys alone now having successful, happy outcome from this experience?

by on May. 24, 2013 at 4:48 PM
Replies (11-20):
virginiamama71
by Carrie on May. 24, 2013 at 9:14 PM
What kind of discipline are you using? They are old enough to know respect for their Mother.
Quoting mrsary:

I've been raising my 8 yr old daughter and 3 & 5 yr old sons since day one. The boys are book smart but hard to handle ( such as runs away from me in public, has tantrums & fight me in public, call me names). My daughter has already failed 1st grade once, she is lazy as hell, tries to talk back although I don't let her get away with it. Most of the time she acts like a 2 yr old.
mrsary
by Silver Member on May. 24, 2013 at 9:22 PM
I do know they understand what they are doing. I discipline by taking away things they enjoy. They are in the "basic training" phase again as I call it. I had to go away for work & just getting them back. The adults (my family) they were with before me let them run wild & they actually criticize how strict I am! In a couple/few weeks the kids will act like they have some sense again.


Quoting virginiamama71:

What kind of discipline are you using? They are old enough to know respect for their Mother.



Quoting mrsary:

I've been raising my 8 yr old daughter and 3 & 5 yr old sons since day one. The boys are book smart but hard to handle ( such as runs away from me in public, has tantrums & fight me in public, call me names). My daughter has already failed 1st grade once, she is lazy as hell, tries to talk back although I don't let her get away with it. Most of the time she acts like a 2 yr old.

ChocolateAngel3
by on May. 24, 2013 at 9:27 PM
1 mom liked this

It is nice to know that so many moms are doing well with raising their guys. I asked this question because I personally agree that a single mom can raise her boys to grow up to be successful, respectable young men even though I know some people that think it isn't so. All my kid get good grade. My oldest is a special needs child and suffers in his schooling sometimes but with extra help, he is passing. My youngest son is a straight A student. He gets honor roll every year since he been in school. His twin sister is an A, B student. They all are in some type of activities that they enjoy and I think they are doing well. So far the biggest problem I had was trying to explain all the changes their bodies would go through when they start puberty but that I didn't know, I researched it and ask a male was what I read actuate. Now that all of them has reach that stage and they come with me with question, I do what I can to get them the answer, if I don't already know it and we dissuss it. Like virginiamama71 stated that she is learning as she go, that is exactly what I am doing. Thanks everyone

virginiamama71
by Carrie on May. 24, 2013 at 9:39 PM
2 moms liked this
You are a good Mother. We all are good Mothers. We do the best that we can and hope for the best.
Quoting ChocolateAngel3:

It is nice to know that so many moms are doing well with raising their guys. I asked this question because I personally agree that a single mom can raise her boys to grow up to be successful, respectable young men even though I know some people that think it isn't so. All my kid get good grade. My oldest is a special needs child and suffers in his schooling sometimes but with extra help, he is passing. My youngest son is a straight A student. He gets honor roll every year since he been in school. His twin sister is an A, B student. They all are in some type of activities that they enjoy and I think they are doing well. So far the biggest problem I had was trying to explain all the changes their bodies would go through when they start puberty but that I didn't know, I researched it and ask a male was what I read actuate. Now that all of them has reach that stage and they come with me with question, I do what I can to get them the answer, if I don't already know it and we dissuss it. Like virginiamama71 stated that she is learning as she go, that is exactly what I am doing. Thanks everyone

virginiamama71
by Carrie on May. 24, 2013 at 9:41 PM
It's good you are back now to put them back in place. :-)
Quoting mrsary:

I do know they understand what they are doing. I discipline by taking away things they enjoy. They are in the "basic training" phase again as I call it. I had to go away for work & just getting them back. The adults (my family) they were with before me let them run wild & they actually criticize how strict I am! In a couple/few weeks the kids will act like they have some sense again.


Quoting virginiamama71:

What kind of discipline are you using? They are old enough to know respect for their Mother.



Quoting mrsary:

I've been raising my 8 yr old daughter and 3 & 5 yr old sons since day one. The boys are book smart but hard to handle ( such as runs away from me in public, has tantrums & fight me in public, call me names). My daughter has already failed 1st grade once, she is lazy as hell, tries to talk back although I don't let her get away with it. Most of the time she acts like a 2 yr old.

twin_mama_x_2
by Member on May. 25, 2013 at 7:13 AM
I'm in the same boat-except i have 3 boys & 1 girl.i have been told by many people
That as long as those boys have a strong male presence,they will be fine.my boys have my dad.they know hes their granddad but hes also the closest thing to a father figure they have.
baseballmom5416
by Member on May. 25, 2013 at 7:39 AM
1 mom liked this

i have a boy and a girl. and when i was married it seems like i was a mom and a dad to both of them. and now that ive been divorced its still the same. my son grad from high school. he has a job now. and he will be going to college to be an emt in the fall.

quickbooksworm
by Bronze Member on May. 25, 2013 at 7:42 AM
2 moms liked this
I think its the most absurd thing I've ever heard that boys raised by single moms will end up on jail. My grandfather, my boss, and the President were all raised by single moms and all successful.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
labrax
by Member on May. 25, 2013 at 9:04 AM
1 mom liked this

I think it's nonsense that a single mom can't raise boys successfully. If the mom in question  raises the boys right by teaching them good morals, principles and virtues plus watching out for who the boys interact with in their growing years, they will turn out fine.

Ultimately, our children are individuals and all we can do is teach them wrong from right. At the end of the day, it is their responsibility to choose how they will turn out. As a parent, do your best for your child and hope that he learns how to discriminate wrong from right and that he/ she would choose right.

I have seen many parents raise their kids well yet the kids turn out poorly and the parent(s) suffer and blame themselves. We forget as parents that our children become rational thinking adults at a point in their lives. I have reached the conclusion that I owe my kids the best I can afford in education and moral upbringing, the rest is up to them. After all, there our children who were raised poorly yet chose to do right and turn out successful adults.

Do your best for your kids simple!

LifeCafe42
by Nora on May. 25, 2013 at 10:53 AM
1 mom liked this
Can't us a bad word in my house. It is not mandatory the male role model has to be biological step out and find a coach, karate, youth group leader.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
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