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My dauther had an altercation with a boy at school and now his mom wants to speak to me

Posted by on May. 26, 2013 at 12:28 PM
  • 22 Replies

According to my dauther, a boy at school called her a pervert when she attempted to push him away from her friend. He said that she touched his "man boobs" and that made her a pervert. She, in turn, called him an a-hole (believe me, I am mortified at this).

The boy's mother now wants to speak to me to "settle the matter."

This is the first time I have had to deal with this situation, and my daughter tells me that this woman is "mean." That alone has me on pins and needles.

Anyone else been through a similar situation? How did you handle it? Were both kids present and did any of them (including your own child) lie about the altercation in order to save face? I believe my daughter is telling the truth, but she has also been known to lie at times. She actually came to me in tears yesterday when she found out the boy's mother wanted to speak to me. I think she realized the consequences of calling other kids names, so I hope this turns out to be a good lesson for her. 

The woman and her son will be here at 1:00 today. I don't want to get into an argument with her and I hope the outcome is that both kids will apologize and everyone will go away happy. Is that usually the end result? Advice appreciated. Thank you.


by on May. 26, 2013 at 12:28 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lydi
by Lydi on May. 26, 2013 at 12:37 PM
1 mom liked this

I have never been in that situation, but if I were I would go with an open mind and be calm and like you said both kids can apologize and then it will be settled.  Even if she is mean I would still stay calm and have your dd stay away from the boy.  Good luck.  i hope it works out positively.  

conniejo75
by Bronze Member on May. 26, 2013 at 12:40 PM
4 moms liked this
I wouldn't put kids in the middle of it. I would talk to her one on one first to get a feel for her. If argumentative, the conversation would end there. If she seems sincere and level headed then we would talk to both kids as a united front. It's not about blame... both kids were wrong. Its a teaching moment that they need to not invade someone else's space or use vulgar name calling.
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Andrewsmom70
by Silver Member on May. 26, 2013 at 1:25 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm not sure why this wasn't handled appropriately at school and then each parent deals with their child at home. A one time issue doesn't need to involve all this, at least in my opinion as a teacher and mom.
SusanArlene
by on May. 26, 2013 at 3:43 PM
I'm not sure why it wasn't handled at school other than no teachers witnessed the altercation and neither kid thought to go tell a teacher. Believe me, I would have preferred that and then each parent deal with the child. I have already dealt with my child at home, and I do hope this is a lesson learned by both children that their behavior is unacceptable. They'll be here in 15 minutes. I will let you know how it goes...


Quoting Andrewsmom70:

I'm not sure why this wasn't handled appropriately at school and then each parent deals with their child at home. A one time issue doesn't need to involve all this, at least in my opinion as a teacher and mom.

SusanArlene
by on May. 26, 2013 at 3:43 PM
I'm not sure why it wasn't handled at school other than no teachers witnessed the altercation and neither kid thought to go tell a teacher. Believe me, I would have preferred that and then each parent deal with the child. I have already dealt with my child at home, and I do hope this is a lesson learned by both children that their behavior is unacceptable. They'll be here in 15 minutes. I will let you know how it goes...


Quoting Andrewsmom70:

I'm not sure why this wasn't handled appropriately at school and then each parent deals with their child at home. A one time issue doesn't need to involve all this, at least in my opinion as a teacher and mom.

krisnkids
by Gold Member on May. 26, 2013 at 3:56 PM
5 moms liked this
If this happened at school then you should deal with it through the school. I would not invite this woman whom you already know is problematic into your home. Speak with the vice principal and ask him/her to intervene.
Andrewsmom70
by Silver Member on May. 26, 2013 at 4:08 PM
If neither child felt it was worthy of telling a teacher I wouldn't think it was worth dealing with at all, other than speaking with my child about name calling/cursing.

The other mom is looking for drama for sure.
MIMIBRIE
by Jayme on May. 26, 2013 at 4:08 PM
Personally I wouldn't even bother with the mother. The altercation happened at schools and should be dealt with there.
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kels1023
by on May. 26, 2013 at 4:10 PM
1 mom liked this
Seems a little dramatic for a one time incident.
kennethsmom910
by on May. 26, 2013 at 4:12 PM

Bump for update.

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