I am in a state of continuous shock. My heart is broken, my life is forever changed and I feel so alone. If you've read my past post, "My Real-life Soap Opera Nightmare", you know the background story. If you haven't read it, I encourage you to do so in order to understand this post.
I've never been so angry. I must say, in this world, if it weren't for the existence of women who are willing to lay down with a man they hardly know without 1st being in a commitment or being MARRIED, sneaky, low-down, cheating married men could NOT cheat! I can say this from experience on both sides. I was the "other woman" before. A man I (thought) I knew for 7 yrs lied to me about his marital status. When we finally became intimate, I literally learned less than a week later that he was actually married (separated, but still legally married). That made me feel so stupid & horrible. How could I allow myself to become a pawn in some jerk's choice to cheat on or hurt his wife? I NEVER wanted that to happen to me again. Now, I'm on the opposite end. I'm now the wife who has learned her (ex) husband cheated with another woman. The part that makes me so angry is that this woman claimed to not know my husband was married. Yet the more she told her side of the story, the more suspicious she sounded. She took my husband to court for child support (she claimed she conceived on Apr 8, 2012 & gave birth Dec 18, 2012). I showed up, w/o telling either of them. I sat in the back of the courtroom & took notes. I listened & watched in disbelief as the woman told the judge something different than she had told me. She was able to tell me exactly where she was the night she conceived (Brunswick, MD at a hotel), yet when the judge asked her where she conceived, she said, "Virginia" to which my husband simply shook his head. When asked, he told the judge it was Brunswick, MD. So now I'm curious; is the baby even my husband's? Doing the math from conception to birth (8 Apri - 18 Dec) shows a gestation period just shy of 9 1/2 months, a month & 1/2 short of the full 10 month gestation. Then the admitted fact that she questioned my husband the day she slept with him, "What if I get pregnant?" coupled with the fact that she claimed she'd been intimate with him several times in 2010, and in 2011, but having a long gap between that time until Apr 2012, makes me question her entire story. My husband vehemently denies sleeping with her at any time other than Apr 8, 2012. His story has never changed. Hers however, has changed a couple times, mostly with additional information that was previously left out. I now believe there is a high possibility that the child she bore was already in her womb BEFORE she slept with my husband. Paternity test results are in the works.
My husband requested the paternity test at their 2nd court date. I was in the back of the court room again, taking notes. The girl was clearly rattled by the request. They are due to return to court in July. I plan to be there.
In the meantime, I am very distraught. I divorced my husband because of this situation. Positive paternity results won't change anything as far as our relationship, since he admitted to sleeping with her (once). My issue is the pain I'm feeling. It won't go away. It doesn't get better as each day passes. It just gets worse. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't focus. I have 14-month-old to take care of & I often struggle with that. I'm seeing a counselor, but it doesn't seem to be helping. I see my counselor once a week, but on the days between our sessions, I STRUGGLE. I'm always angry, I have uncontrollable crying spells that come and go, even at work! I have to hide my face or run to the bathroom to hide it. I go to church, I talk to my family, I pray... none of it helps. I just want to SLEEP without dreaming about my husband & that "woman" (I use the term loosely) in bed together. I have to fiercely fight the urge to call my husband (ex husband) every day and ask him "why?" or try to get answers as to what made him cheat, why he didn't think of our daughter & what it would do to her... just WHY? I'm so, so sad. So very deep in sorrow. I'm mourning the loss of my marriage. I feel like puking every day. I'm angry at my husband, but I'm also angry with that woman for calling my JOB to tell me all of this. If it turns out that her baby is NOT my ex's... she's gonna be SHAMED. This girl, Krystal S. Treadwell, moonlights as a "Christian", the daughter of a pastor, a real "good girl". Yet, she has photos of herself on FB in revealing, tight clothing in provacative poses. She also claims to be certified makeup artist who has a passion for "making women feel beautiful". Well, she made someone's wife feel pretty crappy. She even has a website for her little "business" that can be found by simply Googling her name. The ultimate kick in my gut? The happy, pregnant photos she has of herself on FB. I know ultimately, all of this pain I am enduring is my ex husband's fault. I just can't help but put blame for SOME of what I'm going through on that girl. I just want this pain to STOP.
Thanks for listening.