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Soap Opera Nightmare Part II

Posted by on May. 27, 2013 at 10:25 PM
  • 5 Replies

I am in a state of continuous shock.  My heart is broken, my life is forever changed and I feel so alone.  If you've read my past post, "My Real-life Soap Opera Nightmare", you know the background story.  If you haven't read it, I encourage you to do so in order to understand this post. 

I've never been so angry.  I must say, in this world, if it weren't for the existence of women who are willing to lay down with a man they hardly know without 1st being in a commitment or being MARRIED, sneaky, low-down, cheating married men could NOT cheat!  I can say this from experience on both sides.  I was the "other woman" before.  A man I (thought) I knew for 7 yrs lied to me about his marital status. When we finally became intimate, I literally learned less than a week later that he was actually married (separated, but still legally married).  That made me feel so stupid & horrible.  How could I allow myself to become a pawn in some jerk's choice to cheat on or hurt his wife?  I NEVER wanted that to happen to me again.  Now, I'm on the opposite end.  I'm now the wife who has learned her (ex) husband cheated with another woman.  The part that makes me so angry is that this woman claimed to not know my husband was married.  Yet the more she told her side of the story, the more suspicious she sounded.  She took my husband to court for child support (she claimed she conceived on Apr 8, 2012 & gave birth Dec 18, 2012).  I showed up, w/o telling either of them.  I sat in the back of the courtroom & took notes.  I listened & watched in disbelief as the woman told the judge something different than she had told me.  She was able to tell me exactly where she was the night she conceived (Brunswick, MD at a hotel), yet when the judge asked her where she conceived, she said, "Virginia" to which my husband simply shook his head.  When asked, he told the judge it was Brunswick, MD.  So now I'm curious; is the baby even my husband's?  Doing the math from conception to birth (8 Apri - 18 Dec) shows a gestation period just shy of 9 1/2 months, a month & 1/2 short of the full 10 month gestation.  Then the admitted fact that she questioned my husband the day she slept with him, "What if I get pregnant?" coupled with the fact that she claimed she'd been intimate with him several times in 2010, and in 2011, but having a long gap between that time until Apr 2012, makes me question her entire story.  My husband vehemently denies sleeping with her at any time other than Apr 8, 2012.  His story has never changed.  Hers however, has changed a couple times, mostly with additional information that was previously left out.  I now believe there is a high possibility that the child she bore was already in her womb BEFORE she slept with my husband.  Paternity test results are in the works.

My husband requested the paternity test at their 2nd court date.  I was in the back of the court room again, taking notes.  The girl was clearly rattled by the request.  They are due to return to court in July.  I plan to be there. 

In the meantime, I am very distraught.  I divorced my husband because of this situation.  Positive paternity results won't change anything as far as our relationship, since he admitted to sleeping with her (once).  My issue is the pain I'm feeling.  It won't go away.  It doesn't get better as each day passes.  It just gets worse.  I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't focus.  I have 14-month-old to take care of & I often struggle with that.  I'm seeing a counselor, but it doesn't seem to be helping.  I see my counselor once a week, but on the days between our sessions, I STRUGGLE.  I'm always angry, I have uncontrollable crying spells that come and go, even at work!  I have to hide my face or run to the bathroom to hide it.  I go to church, I talk to my family, I pray... none of it helps.  I just want to SLEEP without dreaming about my husband & that "woman" (I use the term loosely) in bed together.  I have to fiercely fight the urge to call my husband (ex husband) every day and ask him "why?" or try to get answers as to what made him cheat, why he didn't think of our daughter & what it would do to her... just WHY?  I'm so, so sad.  So very deep in sorrow.  I'm mourning the loss of my marriage.  I feel like puking every day.  I'm angry at my husband, but I'm also angry with that woman for calling my JOB to tell me all of this.  If it turns out that her baby is NOT my ex's... she's gonna be SHAMED.  This girl, Krystal S. Treadwell, moonlights as a "Christian", the daughter of a pastor, a real "good girl".  Yet, she has photos of herself on FB in revealing, tight clothing in provacative poses.  She also claims to be certified makeup artist who has a passion for "making women feel beautiful".  Well, she made someone's wife feel pretty crappy.  She even has a website for her little "business" that can be found by simply Googling her name.  The ultimate kick in my gut?  The happy, pregnant photos she has of herself on FB.  I know ultimately, all of this pain I am enduring is my ex husband's fault.  I just can't help but put blame for SOME of what I'm going through on that girl.  I just want this pain to STOP.

Thanks for listening.

by on May. 27, 2013 at 10:25 PM
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Replies (1-5):
Andrewsmom70
by Silver Member on May. 27, 2013 at 11:36 PM
2 moms liked this
Stop going to court. Stop looking at her Fb page. STOP STOP STOP. You are wallowing in your misery and let it go. It's a CHOICE you have to make. You and only you can stop this mess so negatively affecting your life. Let it go and move on.
CEOPotts
by on May. 28, 2013 at 10:15 AM
Did I mentions she had the nerve to contact me again RECENTLY to basically verify that I divorced my husband? The last time I'd heard from her was early March when she'd asked me to come to court to (I guess) show the judge what a dirtbag my husband is. It wouldn't have helped her, the judge wouldn't b interested in hearing anything from me. That's not their job or their concern. They just handle CS, visitation, & custody. Althought I agreed to it, I learned to my horror from my attorney, that the law in MD requires that I PROVE adultery occurred in order to get an "absolute" (sans 12 month legal separation) divorce. The only "proof" the court would accept was testimony from the 3rd party, in other words the other woman. I told her this & asked her to come & testify... She quickly & flatly refused & then ended all contact w/me @ that point... Until she sent the message asking if we were divorced. She also avoided a subpoena long enough to miss the court date. So, this is why this creep makes me want to shove her into a brick wall.

I know I should shrug my shoulders & ignore her, stop thinking about what she did, etc. The problem is, I CAN'T stop thinking about it, even if I try. I've totally redecorated my house, painted, moved furniture around, all in effort to keep myself busy & distracted. I even signed up for a class to finish my degree! But when I go to sleep @ night, I can't stop these sickening images from entering my dreams. I hate what my husband did. I just want to be content.
Andrewsmom70
by Silver Member on May. 28, 2013 at 12:43 PM
1 mom liked this
Answering phone calls, reading texts/emails, Fb stalking, etc are things you can stop. It's your choice.

You need to come up with a list of Go To things to think about when the other thoughts come to mind.

You're making the choice to continue being a victim as long as you wallow in what happened. Unfortunately you're not the first nor last person to go thru this kind of situation. People pull out of it and move on all the time. But it's a choice you have to make on a day to day, moment to moment basis.

If you don't make that choice, you're letting them continue to control you.
sarahmiamaria
by Bronze Member on May. 29, 2013 at 11:01 AM
It's going to take time. You can't just forget and stop hurting instantly. I'm so sorry you are going through this :-(
CEOPotts
by on May. 29, 2013 at 10:13 PM

I'm not going to stop or be AFRAID to look at my phone just because some hussy decides to contact me about her joys with my husband.  I am not, nor have I ever FB stalked her.  I came across these pictures after something that was said to me.  It only took one view to have that stuff in my head.  Thanks anyway.

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