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What is your biggest fear as a single mom?

Posted by on May. 29, 2013 at 2:25 AM
  • 47 Replies

Hello my lovely fantastic single moms out there!! I hope that you are all doing fabulously well!

So I have a really quick question for you guys. I am working on a project and would love to get some feedback from you all if that is ok. I will not be using anyones names or any quotes or anything like that, just looking for a little, I don't know, inspiration I guess.

I am a bit stuck on how to proceed with my project and I thought maybe if I could pick a few single mom brains it would help. It's always good to get other view points and such.

So here goes. Totally easy.

- As a single mom what is your greatest fear. (Outside of the obvious like something happening to our children because I think that is ALWAYS number 1 on our fear list). But on a day to day basis, life in general perspective - what is your greatest fear as a single mom?

- What keeps you awake at night sometimes?

- What is your biggest struggle?


Thanks for your input ladies and you go out there and keep being awesome!

moms rock

by on May. 29, 2013 at 2:25 AM
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Replies (1-10):
morethanamemory
by on May. 29, 2013 at 9:04 AM

my number one fear would be loosing my job....so far where I work has done well with findin ways to save money and not having to let anyone go...other places within the company haven't been so lucky...and I worry about us being hit next and people having to be let go. I have help from my family, but I pretty much do it all on my own...so I cant afford to loose my job. (but who can these days?)

idk cant say that anything truely keeps me awake at night...

my biggest struggle is dealing with dd's father and having to stand my ground with him...he has no car and his job supposedly offers no days off...when he gets a last min day off he expects me to change all plans to take her over there and I am just not doing it...if he had his own car and a way to get her and bring her home it would be different but he doesn't and I cant just bring her last min and we fight all the time about the fact he needs to let me know ahead of time when he wants her.

Luv.My.Kidz
by on May. 29, 2013 at 9:20 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting VirtualyNSpired:

So here goes. Totally easy.

- As a single mom what is your greatest fear. (Outside of the obvious like something happening to our children because I think that is ALWAYS number 1 on our fear list). But on a day to day basis, life in general perspective - what is your greatest fear as a single mom?

Being single for the remainder of my time on earth. My boys have had in the past a way to run guys off because they hated the thought of me spending time with another man. They are extreme Mama's Boys (especially my youngest) and since their sperm donors both walked out on us they expect any other man to do it as well. When I met DF I told him from the first time we hung out "I want to know right now what are your intentions? Do you want lasting relationship that ends in marriage or do you want a bootycall? Because I want marriage. If that's not what you want, we can end it right now." Since obviously he wanted marriage he sat down with the boys and explained to them that he's not a coward and will never walk away from his responsibility to me or to them. 

So now.... I'm just worried about something happening to me before DF can adopt the boys and my boys get split up like my cousins did.

- What keeps you awake at night sometimes?

Financials.... even though we're a two income family we're barely scrapping by. 

- What is your biggest struggle?

With my kids it's Discipline. :( I've been a single mom since my youngest was 2 and before him for 3 yrs with my oldest after his sperm donor walked out. Trying to play the disciplinarian plus have fun with the kids and them know the separation between the two is tiringly hard. :(

With myself, taking ownership of my failings. I have a horrible time accepting when I'm wrong, done wrong and am doing wrong. I've failed so many times since my oldest was born (btw my boys will be 13 & 8 within 1 1/2 weeks from now) that I just give up instead of trek forward to succeed. I give others so much great advice on "getting up, dusting off the dirt and getting back on track" but I never follow my own advice. 

moms rock


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steviechick
by on May. 29, 2013 at 9:35 AM
1 mom liked this

My greatest fear is not being here for my daughter.  Since her father is so mentally screwed up and has proven he's not even worthy to be in her life anymore there is really no one for my daughter to turn to except my little sister.  But, she lives 7 hours away and my daughter hasn't been very close to her at all through the years.  I have a few friends.  I just find my friends to be not as good as being a mom as I have been to my daughter. 

What keeps me awake at night sometimes is wanting a good man in my life.  A man that can actually be a good father figure to my daughter.  Since her own father has failed miserably as a man and a father figure, I keep thinking about what if I don't find a good man in my life to share with my daughter - to mentor her as she grows up?  Every young woman should have a positive male figure in their life.

My biggest struggle is making it financially.   I was married to a complete and utter financial failure who walked out on me and our daughter after 26 yrs of marriage.  Unfortunately, my daughter has learned just how awful your life can be when you have a father that constantly puts his family in financial straights.  I constantly try to educate my daughter about finances.  I don't her growing up to be just like her deadbeat father.

Wyattlucasmama
by on May. 29, 2013 at 9:43 AM
2 moms liked this

 My biggest fear is that something will happen to me and my son's father will get custody of him. He does not know him, has only seen him a few short times, and I know he would NEVER get to see my family who we live with.

The above also sometimes keeps me awake at night.

My biggest EXTERNAL struggle is finding a permanent full-time job to allow benefits and a means to save money to move into our own place.

My biggest INTERNAL struggle is the constant worry about what will happen to my son as a result of his relationship with his father(or lack there of).

LiSSy611
by on May. 29, 2013 at 9:48 AM

My Biggest fear being a mother is having my daughter look at me with anger for me not letting her meet her father or in other ways keeping her away from him. Another fear of is not being able to meet a man that would accept me but would accept my babygirl and be the father figure that she needs. I just wanna be able to trust someone because with all these things going on including small innocent kids, whos gonna trust who !

starry_mom
by on May. 29, 2013 at 9:49 AM
My ex's coming after us to hurt us, or them just trying to take my kids away...
My son, having endured so much abuse, becoming abusive to others...
Both kids possibly having personality disorders, since their sperm donors were both pretty sociopathic...
Not being able to defend my kids if they need my help...
Not being financially stable enough to afford my kids...
VirtualyNSpired
by on May. 30, 2013 at 6:26 PM

Wow ladies! Great stuff! Thanks so much for responding. I so hope that you ladies who stated your biggest fear was your ex's coming to hurt you or you babies are staying safe and you are in my thoughts!

So many of you state that finances or job type of fears are big ones. Others are saying that you fear being alone. I know how that feels and I know that is something that I have struggled with myself.

Thanks again for your input! Really helpful stuff.

cami.love
by on May. 30, 2013 at 7:54 PM
4 moms liked this
Fear that i'm gonna mess my kids up.. the stereotype that kids with one parent are far less well off than kids in a "traditional" family..fear that my anger/anxiety/depression will not get better and they'll suffer and end up like that..although im working on that..financial worries..the list goes on and on...
mrsary
by Gold Member on May. 30, 2013 at 7:57 PM
My biggest fear is not being able to provide the comfortable lifestyle we have today. I am terrified of being homeless!
lauraash06
by on May. 30, 2013 at 8:03 PM
1 mom liked this
My biggest fear is something happening to me, God forbid, and leaving my son alone. It's so scary to me. My daughter has her dad, but my son only has me. My biggest struggle is my income obviously. I feel like all I ever do is stress bout how to pay my bills every month. It's like I can never get caught up on my bills. It's so frustrating. It keeps me up at night all the time. I feel like I will never be able to give my children what they deserve BC I'm stuck.
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